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www.ontheten.orgThe Newsletter for Treatment Educat10n Network—TENSIN Colorado is a Gay Men’s SocialNetwork supported byTreatment Educat10n NetworkUpcoming & Recurring EventsSunday Coffee Talk/BrunchPanera Bread, 13th & Grant StreetFirst Sunday each month 11:00am to 1:00pmFree SIN YogaTuesday 4:30 (2670 Gilpin)Wednesday 5:15 (770 Broadway)Saturday noon (770 Broadway)Yoga Questions? Call Phil 303.358.3563AUTUMN 2010VOLUME III, ISSUE XINSIDE THIS ISSUEWHEN OUR SHEROS DIE IN SILENCE 1CAN ONE DAY CHANGE A LIFE? 1BEAUTIFUL 2ANN’S STORY 3“GIRLS GET HIV” 3A WOMAN’S WORTH 3LEVEL 1 CARE FOR WOMEN 6THE OTHER KIND OF E XPOSURE 7THE INVISIBLE MAN 9DOES THE GAY MEN’S HEALTH SUMMITMAKE ME LOOK FAT ? 12TATTOO 14IT’S ABOUT HOPE 15REMEMBER BACKMISSION STATEMENTThe Mission of OnTheTen Newsletteris to provide educat10n and informationfor HIV-positive individuals in ColoradoThe publication is a peer-basedcollaborative effort, and we encouragematerial written and contributed by pozindividuals to achieve our goal of being“by the community, for the community.”We believe that “knowledge is power”and that HIV positive individualshave a lot to learn and gain from eachother by sharing their experiencesand information. In addition, we strive toempower individuals to be proactive intheir mental and physical healthand well-being.“When Our SheroesDie In Silence”Aby Penny DeNoblenother one of our Sheroes made herrtransition on Friday, July 16th, 2010. Shedied without giving a name and face tothe entity that invaded her body; AIDS.She died without telling her story. Her impacttin the Arts community was profound and theimpression she could have made in the lives offthe people who travel in the Arts circle locally,nationally and internationally, would havebeen immeasurable had she told her story.It is important to tell our story. It is important to share with others how this virushas changed our life, and to describe the box that it sometimes forces us to livein. It is the hope that our story will help someone come out of the self-inflictedbox of shame and suffering we allow ourselves to be placed in when we don’ttell our story.Be assured, that when we tell our story, there’s a lesson for someone else thatcan be learned. When we tell our story, there are words of advice no matter howsimplistic or profound, that someone will glean. When we tell our story, there’swisdom that can be learned from one who lives in a world of HIV/AIDS.(continued on page 5)Can one day change a life?TBy Tony R.he other day, I read an article from a young man here in Seattle who recentlybecame HIV . After I replied, by letting him know how courageous he wasfor doing so in such a public way. I then realized that I was his age when Ifound out my status, which was 26 years ago. A lot has happened in those 26years including, that I will celebrate 7 years clean and sober soon.I certainly followed suggestions to get to where I am at today. One of thosesuggestions was to listen to others. Some of these suggestions came frommentors. These were both men and women. They said things, which I felt deepinside my heart at a time when I was ready to hear new things and do somethingdifferent in my life. My mentors encouraged me, supported me, loved me, andoccasionally were ready to call me on my shit.My mentors also challenged me to get involved in my community. Around thistime, I had a chance to hear Chris Bartlett talk about “Unspoken Mentorship.”The theory is that we can all mentor someone without them knowing it. I lovedthe concept, intentional unobtrusive coaching.(continued on page 2)

BeautifulBy Rod Rushing“And everywhere we go the sun won’t always shineBut tomorrow will find a way. All the other times‘cause we are beautiful. no matter what they say”— by Christina AguileraThe OnTheTen/SIN newsletter and subsequent blogstarted simply because I had lived in our city foralmost 20 years as an HIV positive citizen, yet I rarelysaw any evidence that any other Coloradans were livingsuccessfully and happily with HIV. And I would encounternew pozlings and repeatedly hear that they felt like theywere all alone in the world now. Here, any Coloradan cansee and read proof that healthy, happy people with HIVexist in our community, and are thriving. On The TEN hasbecome a part of my daily life. I blog regularly at ontheten.com, I have brunch the 1st Sunday of each month withStrength In Numbers at Panera at 13th and Grant, attendand volunteer at the monthly forums at 9th and Emersonas I can, go to the MounTEN SIN social weekend in GrandLake in September, and try to hustle up articles to includein each quarterly issue of this publication. I do this with nogreat plan in mind, simply with conviction that it just BEdone.If you are newly diagnosed, and living in our beautiful stateplease hear this loud and clear. There is no need to sellthe farm or go into hiding. Life can and does go on. Findanother poz person who vibrates with your senses and findout for yourself how to move forward in a healthy way. HIVis certainly a force that infected our lives. The test for us isto choose whether it will become a force for good, or onethat wreaks havoc.In this issue, you will hear from Penny DeNoble. She hasgraciously decided to stand tall and make herself visible.And beyond that she enlisted several of her comrades toshare their passions and perspectives for the enrichment ofus all. I hope Penny will continue to be a part of On The TENfor a long time to come. I am honestly so proud that thesebeautiful individuals have stepped into the public light andforge another step towards the idea that living with HIV isOK.World AIDS Day 2010 will occur before our next issue, sowe are including what we can. 2011 heralds in the 30th yearof AIDS in the US. There are numerous projects underwayto commemorate this milestone. True to form, BCAP (withguidance from Dan Hanley) has tossed their hat in thisring for Colorado and begun a project called REMEMBERPROJECT that we hope to support in the year to come. DanHanley is including a bit about the project and is asking foryour input and contributions. We definitely think it worth alook. You can find it at www.rememberproject.orgI have made the acquaintance of Tony Radovich of Seattlewho has worked tirelessly to help create a peer supportnetwork for gay men who use crystal meth. He has workedwith Susan Kingston and others from King County’s Public2Can one day change a life?(continued from page 1)All of us have the ability to have an impact on another person.If we choose to do so we can also foster relationshipsthat will last for a long time. Thus creating opportunitiesfor more deeper meaningful relationships. I have alwaysbeen grateful to witness change in another person. Itis often a profound and moving experience to watch thetransformation over time.On a Saturday a few years ago a group of us sat downand came up with a framework on mentorship in which weagreed, A Belief, that all of us can mentor someone andthat we either sought out thisrole or it sought us out. Doingour best and recognizing that noone is perfect, try to do the rightthing at the right time, acting inaccordance with new behaviorsthat promote a clean and sober lifestyle. This includes my conduct inregards to safer sexual behavior,respect for other people, andrelapse prevention skills andtools. Abusing or using othersin my community for my ownneeds or desires, without mutualagreement or consent, is an oldbehavior and life style, one that I,as a Peer/Mentor have chosen togive up.By no means have I figured everything out. But, I do knowwhen it is supposed to be.Tony R.Seattle, WA.Health Department and is helping to fulfill the promise ofa 4-year SAMHSA grant. The lessons these guys havelearned, and the wisdom they can offer is bound to beabundant. You can learn more about his mentoring workat http://www.strengthoverspeed.org/ . S.O.s. seems tobe doing much of what we in Colorado are, but adding acomprehensive after care strategy. Considering the welldocumented challenges of stopping meth use, and thenumbers of new diagnoses that involve meth use in gaymen, we may do well to look beyond our state borders forinspiration.Finally, with all the financial changes going on almosteverywhere around us, it may be that lost insurance, orinability to pay co-pays may happen . Don’t freak out. Don’tgive up. Check out the options and if you can’t see yourway, go to brunch and ask some folks. Go to a forum andfind out what others are doing. There is a way to work it out.There is always a way. The test for us in dealing with thisforce that is HIV is whether it causes our lives to fall apart orwhether it brings us to a truly positive place.Remember With Love .Rod Rushing. poz since 1985Treatment Educat10n Network—TEN

Ann’s Story“Girls get HIV?”n 2000, I fell in love with a man in central Wisconsin.We soon married and looked forward to a long, happylife together. After one month of marriage, my husbandChikezie, a Nigerian native, was arrested by the INSand charged with illegal entry into the U.S. During hisincarceration I learned I was pregnant. Soon following, Iwas hospitalized for one week with acute fever, rash, anddebilitating body aches. These symptoms led my doctor tosuspect an acute HIV infection. He tested me with the ELISAand Western Blot. Both tests were negative. To his surprisemy viral load by the Assay Viral Load Test was undetectable.Ruling out HIV, he diagnosed me with disseminated Herpesand was released without a recommendation that I return inthree months for an HIV retest, when if I was indeed infectedI should have sero-converted.orldwide, half of the people living with HIV/AIDS are women according to the World HealthOrganization. According to the CDC if womencontinue to become infected at the current rate they maysoon surpass the number of men infected. If that’s thecase I often wonder why I can walk into a classroom ora group of young women (and often times middle agedand older women too) and they seem so unaware of thisdisease?Iby AnnThe remainder of my pregnancy was uneventful other thandiscovering I was carrying twin girls expecting to deliver inDecember 2000. The girls were delivered via C-Section, fullterm and healthy! I settled into motherhood breast-feedingthe twins. The following month Ireceived a call from the facilitywhere Chikezie was beingheld. He had fallen gravely ill;diagnosed with disseminatedTB, enlarged liver, spleen, NonHodgkin’s Lymphoma and acd4 of 7. An AIDS diagnosis!My world literally turned upsidedown! If Chikezie had beeninfected while we were livingtogether, I could be infectedas well. Furthermore, thetwins could share the samefate. I clung to the knowledgethat I did not have a viral loadwhen my doctor tested mein my early pregnancy, at what should have been a peakin viral levels if infected. January 2001, the same doctorran another HIV test and I was indeed positive! Soon after,the twins were tested. One was positive and the othersero-converted soon after via breast milk. All three of usremained undetectable for viral load.I was overwhelmed and fearful! Afraid for my family, me,the future and wondered how long did any of us have untildeath? I began selecting particular hymns to be playedat our impending funeral. I also obsessively pondered asto HOW my doctor had missed my infection during mypregnancy?A Family Nurse Practioner (FNP) following the twins’ caresuggested we be tested for an HIV 1 non- B subtype. Therehad NEVER been a documented incidence of this strain ofHIV in our area of Wisconsin. I soon learned because thesource of infection was of West African decent where non-Binfections are rampant; our viral loads were suspiciouslylow. January 2001, my cd4 count was 350, undetectableviral load by the viral load test.(continued on page 8)Treatment Educat10n Network—TENWby Kari HartelI was diagnosed withHIV in 2005 just shy ofmy 24th birthday, butI am getting ahead ofmyself. I was 22 and ina serious relationshipwith a man I thoughtmight be “the one.” Wehad been together forabout a year when wedecided it would be okto stop using condoms(I was on the pill andwe were monogamous)cause man those condoms were expensive. While heremains a relatively short part of my story (we dated foranother year and broke up) what happened during thatrelationship will stay with me forever.About 6 months after we stopped using condoms, I gotvery sick. So sick in fact that after about three weeks ofwhat I thought was the worst flu in history, I actually lost myjob as a day-care provider (too much time off work). I wentto the doctor three times during my battle with “the flu” andthe doctor didn’t seem to have an answer. They ruled out(continued on page 9)A Woman’s Worth2by Allyson N. Drayton010 has been a year of change and growth inthe Women’s AIDS Project, a program of TheEmpowerment Program. Empowerment providesservices to all women, but what does it mean to be awoman living with HIV/AIDS? The complicated journeythrough a system of care often dominated by men; fromdiagnosis to “what now”? These are questions our womenface, with many of them long time survivors from whencare and support services were few, and when even fewerfocused on women in particular. Today, women representthe fastest growing demographic of HIV infections.The Women’s AIDS Project (WAP) provides women who areliving with HIV an avenue to express how the disease affectsthem personally - as a spouse, partner, mother, daughteror sister; as a substance user, sex worker, offender, ortransgender – as each role carries its own responsibilities,fears and risks. Here, our women engage in Medical Case(continued on page 6)3

Clinical Trials Now EnrollingUC University of Colorado DenverAnschutz Medical Campus, E 17th Ave & Quentin St, AuroraContact: Graham Ray : 303.724.0712 : graham.ray@ucdenver.eduDH Denver Health ID Clinic, 6th & Bannock St, DenverContact: Julia Weise : 303.602.8742 : Julia.weise@dhha.orgACTG AIDS Clinical Trials Group networkINSIGHT INSIGHT network greater than less than CD4 T-cells VL viral loadART HIV medications (i.e. antiretroviral treatment/therapy)Naïve never taken any HIV medicationsExperienced have taken HIV medicationsNRTI nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors (“nukes”) (e.g.Viread, AZT, 3TC, Truvada, Ziagen, Epzicom, Combivir)NNRTI non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors (“non-nukes”)(e.g. Sustiva, Intelence, Viramune)PI protease inhibitors (e.g. Prezista, Reyataz, Kaletra, Lexiva)INI integrase inhibitors e.g. (Isentress)cPPS a test to determine how well a drug will work (depending onmutations, etc)Placebo a capsule or tablet that looks just like the actual drug, butdoes not contain any drug at allART Experienced Persons: A5241 OPTIONS: “Optimized Treatmentthat Includes or Omits NRTIs” (ACTG)An ART strategy study using the cPSS to select an effective regimen.· Conducted at UC and DH· Any CD4· VL 1000 or higher (meaning current ART is not working effectively)· Currently on ART that includes a PI· Have resistance to multiple types of ART· Have taken multiple types (classes) of ART (but not integraseinhibitors)ART Experienced Persons: BATAR: Boosted Reyataz/Truvadavs. Reyataz/Isentress (Community Research Initiative of N.E.) Astudy of atazanavir (Reyataz) and raltegravir (Isentress) in personsalready successfully taking boosted atazanivir (Reyataz) andTruvada.· Conducted at DH only· CD4 200· Undetectable VL· No known protease inhibitor resistance· Currently virologically suppressed on boosted Reyataz plus Truvada48 weeks, 7 visits, most meds provided, help with copays if needed,King Soopers gift card incentive.4ART Naïve: START: “Strategic Timing of Anti-Retroviral Treatment”(INSIGHT) A study to determine whether immediate initiation of ARTis superior to waiting until the CD4 falls below 350· Conducted at DH only· CD4 500· Receiving medical care in the Denver Metro area (Denver Health,University, or any other provider)· HIV medications provided for course of study (about 5 years)Randomly assigned to either Early or Deferred Group:- Early Group begins ART immediately- Deferred Group waits and starts ART when CD4 declines to 350ART Naïve: A5257 A comparative study of three different ARTregimens that do not include NNRTIs (ACTG)· Conducted at UC and DH· Any CD4 count· VL 1000· Person is ready to start ART· Randomized to one of these 3 approved and effective ART regimens(without NNRTIs):- Reyataz Norvir Truvada- Isentress Truvada- Prezista Norvir Truvada· Most ART drugs provided throughout the study· Study duration: 2-4 yearsART Experienced: A5247 Evaluate the safety, tolerability, andeffectiveness of the shingles vaccine in HIV persons (ACTG)· Conducted at UC and DH· Currently on ART· Undetectable VL· CD4 200-350· Randomized to receive the vaccine or a placeboat start and at week 6Women Only: A5240 A study to evaluate the immunogenicity andsafety of an HPV vaccine in HIV women (ACTG)· Conducted at UC and DH· Either stable on ART for 12 weeks or not on ART at all· Any CD4 and VL· Younger than 46 years old· All women will get 3 Gardasil vaccinations by injection(at start, at week 8, and at week 24)Persons who Experience Moderate Peripheral Neuropathy:A5252 is a randomized & blinded, placebo-controlled study ofDuloxetine (Cymbalta) and Methadone for the treatment of HIVassociated painful peripheral neuropathy (ACTG). Participantsstop all current pain medications (wash out). There are 4 differentregimens through the course of the study. Each participant takesa regimen for a month, stops it for a week, starts the next onefor a month, stops it for a week, starts the next one for a month,etc, for a total study time of 20 weeks. The different regimens areplacebo, cymbalta, methadone and both cymbalta and methadone.Conducted at UC only.Treatment Educat10n Network—TEN

“When Our SheroesDie In Silence”THE HIV LEGAL RIGHTS NETWORKANNOUNCES THE CREATION OFPOSITIVE BENEFITSAN ACCESSIBLE COMMUNITY SERVICE(continued from page 1)WITH A HANDS-ON APPROACHBut most importantly, the telling of our story causes thestory-teller to rise up with strength and confidence tostop hiding and believing societal perceptions and gaina strength that brings with it a realization that our voicesMUST be heard and it MUST resonate loudly that the tellingof our story is something that HAS to be done! It brings withit the courage to find our strength along with our voice.POSITIVE BENEFITS is an organized and comprehensiveresource for people with HIV/AIDS who need aid not onlyin accessing confusing benefit and entitlement systems,but also help in successfully completing the necessarypaperwork. By providing upfront assistance prior to thefiling of applications for programs such as SSI/SSDI,POSITIVE BENEFITS will increase the chances of approvalfor claims that have merit. For those clients who continueto work, we will walk with them through the maze of healthinsurance issues, COBRA questions, unemployment,FMLA, and disability plans.We must be willing to change our perception that we havea limited story to share.That perception must include thoughts that we have lifeaffirming, empowering and courageous stories of how weARE, CAN and WILL survive and thrive with HIV/AIDS.We cannot continue to live in the prison/the walls we’vebuilt for ourselves. We cannot allow ourselves or others tonot be challenged by the reality of living with HIV/AIDS.We must be willing to put a face to this virus in order toreduce the stigma and shame and to give other Sisters/Sheroes the courage to step into the light of that whichformerly held us in darkness.We do NOT have the luxury of being nameless and facelesswomen living with HIV/AIDS any longer! LIVES ARE ATSTAKE!! With 50% of all new infections occurring in womenworldwide, I believe we have entered a time where we HAVEto choose We cannot leave this task; this responsibility to a fewcourageous women. We must ALL take up the mantle ofaccountability to ourselves and to others who are dying intheir box. We must come alongside others who are readyto tell their story. We must reassure them that they don’thave to die in darkness and obscurity.Someone’s life may depend upon us telling our story.Someone’s life may depend upon us coming out ofhiding, and of us overcoming our own fears and need forself-preservation, to give them the courage they need todisclose their status.Disclosure at any level is essential to overcoming ouroverwhelming need for self-preservation, and will fill uswith the courage to begin to truly live a life with no secretsand no shame.It’s the secrets that are killing us. It’s the unwillingness toshare our story that is helping to perpetuate the cycle ofsilence and shame and high-risk behaviors that put us indanger of exposure and possibly death of HIV/AIDS. Tobring the HIV/AIDS epidemic to an end, we must recognizethe value of women and girls’ voices and know that ourviewpoint will change the conversation.These are life-defining moments will we continue to allowthis disease to ravish our communities or will we see thisas a definitive moment where we rise up and allow ourvoices to be heard, so that no more Sheroes will have todie without telling her story? What do you choose?Treatment Educat10n Network—TENPOSITIVE BENEFITS will eliminate barriers to health care,legal services, and medical case management. Throughour interventions, we will reduce the burden on Ryan WhiteCare dollars by assisting clients in accessing their all theirfinancial, medical, employment, and disability benefits.POSITIVE BENEFITS will survey existing AIDS ServiceProviders to ascertain current practices. We will supportexisting efforts while at the same time, fill in the gaps andadvocate for the client.POSITIVE BENEFITS is driven by the identified needs ofour clients. We actively recruit additional partners withinand outside of the HIV Community. Importantly, we seekassistance from those of you who are HIV Positive.POSITIVE BENEFITS willto understand resourceprograms available to thehave Internet access, weweb site.publish an easy to read, easyguide that will detail benefitHIV community. For those whowill publish information on ourPOSITIVE BENEFITS will be housed at:THE HIV LEGAL RIGHTS NETWORK atTHE LEGAL CENTER 303.722.0300455 Sherman St. Suite 130 Denver, CO 80203Contact: Barry Glass LSW Program Directorbglass@thelegalcenter.orgWe will build our website @ hivlegalrights.netBiography of Penny DeNoblePenny DeNoble’s journey into the world of HIV/AIDS began 24 years ago,with the loss of her husband from AIDS and her own personal diagnosisof HIV.Over the years, Penny has worked with community organizations andchurches to share the need for HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention. In2007, she transitioned into full-time activism and entrepreneurship as avoice for this infected and affected by HIV/AIDS; particularly women.In November 2009, she became a nationally certified Trainer and Instructorin HIV Education, Awareness and Prevention from The Department ofHealth and Human Svcs; HRSA Division, and AIDS Alliance for Children,Youth and Families, located in Washington D.C., and The Issue of BloodOutreach and Consulting Svcs was founded with it’s vision to raise upleaders, voices and advocates to speak out against stigma, racism.associated with HIV/AIDS.As Director of the Issue of Blood, shehas collaborated with agencies in thearea to provide outreach and educationalservices to populations at risk for varioushealth and social concerns. She is alocal and national leader for education,awareness and leadership developmentfor HIV/AIDS.5

Level 1 Care for WomenA Woman’s Worthadies, this here is our chance to take a step towardsour health and well-being. Here at the ID Clinic atDenver Health, we pride ourselves on being uniqueand caring about our wonderful patients.Management services and find support and guidance fromcase managers from all walks, and from the women who’vegone before.Lby Kristina Leahy, CHAAThe Clinic offers primary care services for individuals withHIV as well as a few specialty clinics such as Neurology,Dermatology, Endocrinology, Proctology, Hepatitis, andWomen’s Care Clinic.Dr. Shlay and Patty Caraway team up to give Women thecare they need for both obstetrical and gynecologicalcare, including preconception counseling, well womancare, evaluations for abnormal pap smears (colposcopy),contraception (including IUD insertions), prenatal andpostnatal care, and care for the post-menopausal woman.Worried about getting started? Don’t be! We do our best tomake enrollment here as easy as possible. We have our ownfinancial screener to help the needs of patients who haveno insurance as well as several different social workers/case managers to help with your Medicare and Medicaidneeds. We also accept a variety of private insurances.While in care, we helpWmaintain your discountmprograms and help youpget re-enrolled in thegsservices you alreadyhave. We offer onceha month groups forourBirthdayADAPo((Aids Drug AssistanceProgram) Celebrations.PThese occur the 3rdTWednesday of the monthWat 3pm. All the SocialaWorkers are there toWhelp with the sometimeshdifficultapplicationdprocess so you canprreceive assistance withyour HIV Medications.You can call or email me anytime with questions,appointment requests, and any other needs I can help youwith. My number is 303.602.8710 or my email is id clinic@dhha.org. The clinic’s hours are Monday through Fridayfrom 8am to 5pm. I am here to help make your experienceat the ID Clinic one of the best and easiest by helping withthe enrollment process here.Hope to hear from you ladies soon!!Kristina Leahy, CHAA(continued from page 3)Among the many groups held at Empowerment, we havetwo groups that are specific to Poz women. Our generalWAP group, held every Tuesday from 10:30-Noon, whichfocuses on health, life, and relationships (and everything inbetween). The social aspect of our groups is very importantto many of our women, as most lack proper support. Wehave potlucks, field trips, and other social gatherings whereour women can come together. The relationships built herego far beyond group mates to friends and confidantes; andit has even encouraged our women to take a stronger rolein the community as advocates and council members.Secondly we have VISION (Valuing Individual Success &Increasing Opportunities Now). VISION is a group held everyThursday from 4pm-6pm, and focuses on women who arepositive as well as struggling with substance abuse. Dinneris also provided. This group gives our women a safe placeto discuss how their substance use and HIV are linked,its effects on Viral Load, medication performance,p, andtheir general health. This issalso a group that is open toowomen not specifically caseemanaged at Empowerment.If you or someone youknow would like to get moreeinformation about services,or would like to attendour groups, please call303.320.1989.Keep living and loving– positively.Allyson N. DraytonMedical Case ManagerWomen’s AIDS ProjectThe Empowerment orld AIDS DayServiceCC of the Rockies is expanding its annual WorldAIDS Day service to include more voices from thecommunity. Join us Wednesday December 1 at 7pm at 980 Clarkson Street as we remember the past, lookforward in hope, and acknowledge our global realitiesthrough testimonial, music, and ritual.Erica Cobb, Kirk Montgomery, Scott McGlothen and manyothers will lead our experience.6Treatment Educat10n Network—TEN

The Other Kind of Exposureby Scott McGlothlenAlmost anyone with a computer eagerly jumps on socialnetworking websites to maintain friendly connections andas with the excitement to make new ones as well. But in aworld where anything goes, technology makes our needfor privacy a more unique and essential conundrum. Howmuch of ourselves do we really need to expose?All of us have qualities about ourselves that we love to share.Some of us brag about our sense of humors while otherscoo about their desires for long walks on the beach. Yetplenty of emotional turmoils swim around in our guts andrarely is anyone willing to put that out on the table with justanyone. People do this for good reason. Spilling your gutsoften results in being vulnerable. And nothing feels morevulnerable than a combination of disease and stigma.As I pull into my third year of being HIV positive, I havea consistent curiosity to push the boundaries with thisdisease. I am now well aware of the fact that living lifepoz is not easy. A simple jog down craigslist lane showsthat majority of people only want to meet others who are“clean” or “ddf.” And there is nothing quite like a momentin the office when coworkers talk about HIV and AIDS in amanner so ignorant that you want burst forth with first handknowledge to help clear the myths. But we don’t burstforth and our need for privacy holds us back. Our fear ofvulnerability keeps us quiet. And I, like many others, wantthat to change.It is easier to point fingers at everyone else for the problemsthat exist not only within HIV but also within our lives.Looking at ourselves requires some major self-examinationwhich can be quite frightening. But since we are the onesactually living with HIV, it does make sense that any levelof new hope and progressive change truly starts with us.If gay history has taught us anything, it is that consistentsocial exposure can lead to awareness and understanding.And since HIV is mainly sexually transmitted, perhaps it isbest to start creating this awareness in the bedroom.safer partner than an HIV negative person who rarely getstested and occasionally lets their boundaries drop. Plusthe massive trends of ignorance towards HIV (especiallywithin the gay community) is more than enough reasoningto say

There are numerous projects underway to commemorate this milestone. True to form, BCAP (with guidance from Dan Hanley) has tossed their hat in this ring for Colorado and begun a project called REMEMBER PROJECT that we hope to support in the year to come. Dan Hanley is including a bit about the project and is asking for your input and contributions.