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GOD’S PORTRAIT OF A KINGDOM FAMILYjob. Having offered marital counseling for over 35years, the problem that repeatedly comes up whencouples are experiencing marital discord usually boilsdown to one thing: one or both parties are out ofalignment. So few men understand what it meansto be in alignment underneath God yet most willfiercely require the woman married to them to be inalignment underneath them.If a man is expecting a woman to be answerable tohim, she should see that same principle being modeledby him being answerable to his Headship, JesusChrist, as well. What many men do is get out of theirlane in respect to the headship of Christ, but expectthe woman living with them to be in her lane withrespect to his headship over her. Yet, when everyonestarts getting out of their lanes, there is bound to be acollision. When headship is not aligned properly, theTo be aligned underneath God is to consistently make flow of God’s presence, power and authority in Hisyour decisions, whether personal or professional, representatives is compromised or lost.in line with God’s revealed Word. This meansintentionally going to the Scripture and oftentimes When Paul writes to the church that “Christ is theas well to a person acquainted with the Scripture on a head of every man,” (1 Corinthians 11:3) we knowspecific matter that you are dealing with.that He is talking about Christian men in particular.Every Christian man, therefore, has a head in thesame way that Jesus, the son of God, had Someoneover Him who covered, provided for, guided Him andto Whom He was accountable. No Christian man isautonomous. Every Christian man, whether single ormarried, is answerable to Jesus Christ. When a manlearns to submit his maleness to the Lordship of JesusChrist, he is living out the basic principles of kingdommanhood thus providing the optimal atmosphere fora kingdom family to thrive.“Your children [shall be] like olive plants around yourtable” (Psalm 128:3).A family runs well when a man recognizes that heNobody should raise your kids butmust be in alignment underneath God before his wifeyou. Anybody else is a bonus. Theycan properly align herself underneath him. To holdare not the essence.a woman accountable to something that the manhimself is not willing to do is a double standard, and An olive plant takes 15 years to mature. The plantis one of the major reasons I have witnessed as causing must be nurtured before it can become a tree andthe breakdown of the family.produce good oil. But once a tree matures, it canTonyEvans.org9

GOD’S PORTRAIT OF A KINGDOM FAMILYproduce oil for numbers of years. We need to nurtureour children around the table. If parents are neverwith their children, then you can’t expect the childrento mature properly.Scan the code above to watch the digitaldevotional. Recommended scanners:NeoReader or QR ScannerOur problem today is not merely a lost generation,but it is the product of a lost generation. We havefathers who never saw their own fathers be a kingdomhusband or a kingdom dad. Or we have mothers whonever saw the same of their fathers or mothers. So wehave children raising themselves. Because of this, ourtables have no olive plants around them.They sit empty.The way God designed a family to be led, particularlyby a father, is around the table. A Jewish father raisedhis family around the table. The table was not just aplace for eating. It was a place for nurturing. Food wassimply the context for discipleship and relationshipbuilding. When a Jewish father sat around the table,he wasn’t just filling his stomach. He was conveningthere to lead. It was there that he poured value andsignificance into the lives of his children by listeningto them and being with them consistently.A Jewish family didn’t sit at the table just to eat. Rather,that was a place for a man to spend substantive timeeach and every day teaching, listening, knowing andleading his family. It is not that there weren’t othertimes for these things to be done but they were alwaysin addition to the family table. This is because fruitfulvines and olive plants need consistent nurturing inorder to produce or to grow. Yet so many of our tablessit empty today. Men’s schedules are full. Women’sschedules are full. Children’s schedules are full.In failing to prioritize the consistency of the familytable – or daily family time wherever you may chooseto spend it, we have failed to lead our families well.As a result, we have a generation of young people whoset their consciences to the culture rather than to thatwhich was given to them at the table.When I go to the airport, I pass through amagnetometer which is designed to register metal.Sometimes when I walk through and forget to takemy keys out, the magnetometer will beep. Yet othertimes, in the same exact situation, it doesn’t. This isbecause a magnetometer has to be set. Some are setvery sensitive and others are not. When a child’s mindhas been set by a culture lacking the values of thekingdom of God, his or her conscience no longer goesoff in light of poor choices they are about to make.The filters no longer work because the father failed toset it according to the kingdom.Engage & RespondRead: 1 Corinthians 11WRite: Husband, are you creating an atmosphereof growth? What specific things have you done thisTonyEvans.org10

GOD’S PORTRAIT OF A KINGDOM FAMILYweek to serve your wife?How much time do you spend with your children?How often do you eat meals together? Pray together?Wife, in respect to time, energy, and passion, howmuch of yourself do you put into your home? Whatactivities could you begin to include that wouldprovide a more intentional engagement with yourhome and the people in your home?TonyEvans.org11

GOD’S PORTRAIT OF A KINGDOM FAMILYThe Christian Family is in theCommunity of BelieversLet’s go back to Psalm 128 and continue with the rest centered around God, and that gathers with God’sof that chapter.people to be affirmed and reaffirmed in the thingsof God, will stay together. In other words, men and“The LORD bless you from Zion, and may you see women, if we are serious about having a long-termthe prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life. family, then we have to be equally serious aboutIndeed, may you see your children’s children. Peace be leading our family in worship. My father workedupon Israel!” (Psalm 128:5-6).harder than any man I’ve ever seen.The Christian family is maintained in the communityof believers.He was a longshoreman who lifted heavy boxes dayin and day out. My dad worked so hard that hewould be dead-tired when he came home because heZion was the city of God. It was Jerusalem. It was had to carry stuff on his back all day long. But everythe place where a father would lead his family to the Wednesday night and every Sunday morning, evenworship of God. The author of Hebrews picked this if he had to work all night Saturday, he’d take us toup in Hebrews 12:22: “But you have come to Mount church.Zion and to the city of the living God.”“But, Dad, I’m tired.” I would say. To which he wouldThe reason we see so many brokenreply, “No, son, I’m the one who’s tired. But we arefamilies is that they’re not involvedin a maintenance program. Thatmaintenance program is the peopleof God.What is Mount Zion for us today? It’s not the cityof Jerusalem. It’s the church of the living God. Youremember that old saying, “The family that praystogether, stays together.” It’s true. The family that isScan the code above to watch the digitaldevotional. Recommended scanners:NeoReader or QR ScannerTonyEvans.org12

GOD’S PORTRAIT OF A KINGDOM FAMILYgoing to church, because as for me and my house, wewill serve the Lord.”The church is supposed to be a little bit of heaven along way from home. It is to be the place where thevalues of eternity are made manifest in history. Theplace where the victories in heaven bear fruit on earth.The church does not exist solely for programs,projects, preaching and buildings, but rather it existsas the primary vehicle for preparing believers to By intentionally connecting with a healthy, functioningdisplay God’s glory, impacting the culture, restoring kingdom-minded church – families are nurtured andlives, and advancing the kingdom.fed both through receiving the Word of God andthrough discovering avenues for its application.The primary purpose ofthe church, in view of EngageRespondthe distinctions of thekingdom, is to represent read: Read Psalm 128:5 again.&the socio-ethical andsocio-political aspects Write: What did the psalmist say would comeof God’s rule. It is to from Zion?be a model for theworld operating in theworld while offering analternative to the world.In doing so, it sets itselfapart as a haven, much What is your commitment to your church community?like an embassy.An embassy is a sovereign territory on foreign soilwhere the rules and laws of the representative nationapply. Embassies never belong to the countries thatthey are in. They belong to the country where theyare from. If you were to visit another country as anAmerican citizen and you went to the AmericanEmbassy, you would find that all American laws andprocedures would be carried out there, no matterwhat country you were in. The American Embassyis fundamentally a little bit of America a long wayfrom home.Are you willing to lean on other believers for support,or would you allow yourself to be used of God tominister to others? Have you obeyed God’s Word inleading your family to worship?TonyEvans.org13

GOD’S PORTRAIT OF A KINGDOM FAMILYThe Christian Family isPowerful in its Impact onSocietyWhen families are centered around God, whenhusbands and wives turn to Him to fix their problems,and when children are raised among other believers,the family unit is strengthened. Strong families makestrong churches, and strong churches can have apowerful impact on society.warranty, His guarantee. If you want Him to standbehind you and your family, then you’d better keeptaking it back to Him. If you’ll only do that, yoursatisfaction is guaranteed.Few people would argue today that our communitiesand our country are feeling continual tremors of a“The LORD bless you curse today. Yet the solution of turning that cursefrom Zion, and may into a covenantal blessing doesn’t come through moreyou see prosperity of tax dollars, government programs or building moreJerusalem all the days of prisons.your life. Indeed, mayyou see your children’s The solution is simple: We need more kingdomchildren. Peace Israel!” families.(Psalm 128:5-6).We have a lot of fancy churches in our country todayThere was well-being with a lot of fancy men attending them. We have thein Jerusalem because right architecture, the right equipment, and the rightthis family was right songs. We even have the right-sounding things to say.with God. Fixing our But the true test of Zion does not rest in how goodcommunity starts with Zion looks, rather it is in what kind of impact Zion isour walk with God, then moves to our relationship making in the community at large.with our families and our involvement in the church.Then, suddenly, the city’s not the same. Remember, Not only does God speak about the city improvingGod is the manufacturer of the family, and He will in response to a man who fears God in Psalm 128always stand by His product. He will honor His (Jerusalem), but He also speaks of the entire nationTonyEvans.org14

GOD’S PORTRAIT OF A KINGDOM FAMILYfeeling the impact of this man’s life (Israel.) What isimportant to notice about the progression of Psalm128 is that God starts with the individual, movesto the family, moves to the church, and then movesto the society. That is how His kingdom works.His kingdom works bottom up, not top down. Yeteveryone these days seems to be more concerned withwhat the White House is doing than what their ownhouse is doing, as well as what the church house isdoing. When society functions according to kingdomprinciples, though, it parcels out the responsibilitiesfor maintaining a healthy, functioning society intomore areas than just the government.someone needs to step in as surrogate fathers to raisethe next generation of men and women. And if we inthe body of Christ don’t do it, then it will be music,entertainment, or peers that will fill that void.When God spoke of being a “father to the fatherless”(Psalm 68:5) in Scripture, He wasn’t referring tosome ethereal spirit floating around in never-neverland. He was speaking of His people who are to beHis representation – His hands and His feet – beingsurrogate fathers to those in need. That’s what it meanswhen James writes, “Pure and undefiled religion in thesight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphansand widows in their distress .” (James 1:27)Societal impact isn’t determined on the basis of thehealth of the existing society either. In fact, in thebook of Jeremiah, we find an example of this whenGod tells His people who are living in the midst of apagan land, Babylon, that they are to,“Seek the welfare of theI have sent you intopray to the LORD onfor in its welfare youwelfare.”(Jeremiah 29:7)city whereexile, andits behalf;will haveScan the code above to watch the digitaldevotional. Recommended scanners:NeoReader or QR ScannerThe Israelites were to make the city in which they liveda better place because of their presence. It was in thewelfare of that city where they would discover theirown welfare; however, they were to be an integral partof improving the society in which they lived while notmerely complaining about it and waiting on someoneelse to make a difference.Specifically, with the growing absence of fathers inour land – either spiritually, physically or emotionally,Too frequently, we relegate only those as orphans whohave experienced the death of a parent or of theirparents while overlooking those who are spiritualorphans, or whose parent or parents have abandonedthem either relationally, emotionally or physically. Achild without the positive influence and presence of afather or mother – whether or not that parent is aliveor dead – lacks a parent. That is an orphan. Whatwe need to do is open our eyes to see the multitudeof orphans in front of us. On our very doorsteps areTonyEvans.org15

GOD’S PORTRAIT OF A KINGDOM FAMILYthe lives of those who have been left on their ownwithout anyone to speak life into them, or to raisethem. The boys and girls in need of surrogate fathersand surrogate mothers – in need of mentors – are notjust boys and girls, they are princes and princesses.Through meeting social and community needsthrough things such as mentoring, tutoring, coaching,job-training, technology institutes, and in countlessother ways – we can tame this cultural chaos. We canreclaim our country for Christ.Engage & RespondRead: Jeremiah 29WRite: How can the dynamics of the familyrelationship be used to influence your city?What specific things can you do this week to “outserve” your wife? your husband? your children? yourparents?They are children of the King and we should viewthem as such.Because when we specifically allow fatherlessness tocontinue at the rate that it is and do not take thenecessary steps to change it, our society will continueto reflect it.If you were to die today, how would your childrenremember their home life? Would they rememberbeing raised in the fear of God or they just rememberfighting and unhappiness?Our society’s problem is not solely our government’sproblem. It is the church’s problem. It is our problem.Our mission field is not merely across the sea. It isacross the street – in our own Jerusalem and Judea– in Detroit, Dallas, Baltimore, Miami and in yourcommunity. To look away now may cost us more thanwe can afford. It may even cost us the futures of ourown sons and daughters.Portions of this text was taken fromKingdom Man. Click HeRe to get yourcopy today!TonyEvans.org16

for thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD.” (Psalm 128:1-4) Th e fi rst thing the psalmist says in verses 1 and 2 is that the Christian family begins with a personal commitment to God. In verse 3, he begins talking about family. But before he starts talking about the family u