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Thank you for auditioning forSOMETHING ROTTENNON-UNION NATIONAL TOURROLE: BEAPresent in the room for prescreens/ appointments /callbacks will bevarious combinations of director, music supervisor, choreographer & casting. Producingteam will also be present at callbacks.For the initial call, please prepare a contemporary comedic musical theatre song in thestyle of the show (or from the show), and SIDE 1.If you are called back, please prepare the entire packet.INSTRUCTIONS:Be sure to bring your picture and resume, otherwise we will not have one in the room!Thanks so much!W S Casting

BEA Side 1 of 1SOMETHING ROTTEN6/21/15SCENE 4:15-16.NICK AND BEA’S HOUSENick enters. Nigel is at the tableeating a bowl of soup. BEA is at thecast iron kettle over the fire.START:NICKHello, darling. How was your day?They kiss.BEAInteresting. I went to the stocks and watched the mobthrow cabbages at the criminals.NICKWhat d’you do that for?You hate all that!BEAI know, it was awful.(handing him bowl)Boiled cabbage?Ah. I see.NICKNIGELI think it’s delicious.BEAAw, thanks Nige. There would’ve been meat, but thelandlord came by demanding the rent -- took our lastshilling right out of my hand. Then I was gonna surpriseyou with some mutton - but sheep are fast.NICKWait, wh-- you chased a SHEEP?Alright, that’s it.He pushes away from the table and headsfor a LOCKED BOX on the mantle.BEAWhat are you doing?I’m just.NICKHe grabs the money box.takes it away.She quickly1/6

6/21/15SOMETHING ROTTEN17.BEANo! We’ve been through this, we do not touch the moneybox!She puts it back.NICKCome on, Bea. we shouldn’t have to live like this.deserve better.YouBEAAnd so do you - we all do, and that’s what we’re savingfor. A better life. A simple cottage in the country, forall of us. You, me, a couple of kids.(taking money back, passing Nigel).a room for Nigel and maybe his wife one day?.Oh, stop it.NIGEL(embarrassed)BEANow, I know it’s been a while since we’ve put any money inthere, and that’s why I was thinking - I should get a job.NICKWhat? No, if you get a job, that will just make me feellike a failure. None of the other writers’ wives have jobs.BEAWell, they should. This is the nineties!We’ve got awoman on the throne and by the year 1600, women will becompletely equal to men. Ooh! I just thought of theperfect job for me. I could be in your play!What?NICKYou can’t act.She BURST INTO TEARS, covers her facewith her hands.NICKSorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.Gotcha.BEASee I can act.*************STOP HERE FOR INITIAL APPOINTMENT*************NICKYou know it’s forbidden to put women on stage.NIGELAnd anyway, our play’s been cancelled.What?BEA2/6

6/21/15SOMETHING ROTTEN17A.NICKNot cancelled, Nige. That’s such a negative way to put it.(firing him a look)I mean, yes, we are no longer doing Richard the Second butonly because we’ve come up with. a better idea!Oooh, what is it?Can’t say.BEANICKDon’t want to jinx it.BEASo. there is no idea.NICKWell, we’ve had the idea that we need an idea.BEAThen let me help you! I’ll go out and earn some money andthat’ll take the pressure off you guys.Bea, listen.NICKBEANo, you listen. Cause I just want to make things betterand I need to know that you understand.(sings)IF YOU EVER GOT IN TROUBLEI WOULD BE THERE ON THE DOUBLEJUST TO BAIL YOU OUTIF THERE’S ANYTHING YOU LACKYOU KNOW I’VE ALWAYS GOT YOUR BACKTHAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUTTHINK OF ME AS YOUR SIDEKICKHELPING YOU WHENEVER I CANI’M MORE THAN JUST A WOMAN, BABYWHEN THE PRESSURE’S COMIN’, BABYLET ME BE YOUR RIGHT HAND MAN3/6

6/21/15SOMETHING ROTTEN18.NICKBut you’re not a man. I’m the man.BEA(to Nigel) He’s not hearing me.(back to Nick)IF YOU’RE EVER IN A PICKLEYOU CAN CALL FOR ME AND QUICK’LLBE HOW FAST I RUNUggggh!NICKBut. I’m not in a pickle.BEAYOU AND ME SHOULD BE A TEAMFOR ANY DREAM OR ANY SCHEMETHAT’S HOW IT SHOULD BE DONESURE, I COULD STAY IN THE BACKGROUNDJUST SMILING EVERY NOW AND AGAINBUT JUST TO BE A PRETTY LADYTHAT WOULD BE A PITY, BABYLET ME BE YOUR RIGHT HAND MANNIGELYou should probably listen.Eat your cabbage.CUT TO BOTTOMOF PG 5She’s usually right.NICKShe steps in front of Nick. He tries toprotest, she keeps interrupting hisattempts.BEAI AM STRONGER THAN YOU THINKDON’T BE THINKIN’ I AIN’T TOUGHI AM WHERE YOU OUGHTA GOWHEN THE GOING’S GETTIN’ ROUGHSO WHEN THINGS ARE GOING BADLY.BUT THEY’RE NOTTHEY KIND OF ARENICKNIGELNICK(trying to silence Nigel)NO, THINGS ARE FINE4/6

6/21/15SOMETHING ROTTEN19.BEABUT IF THEY WEREN’TBUT IT’S OKAYLUV.WHAT?MMMM.WHAT?NICKBEANICKBEANICKBEAQuit trying to protect me!NICKCan we change the subject please?BEANot until I know that.IF YOU’RE EVER IN A FIXAND IT’S A FIX YOU NEED TO NIXTHEN I’M YOUR GO TO GUYYOU’RE NOT A GUYNICKBEADON’T BE SO LITERAL.AND DON’T FORGETI’M NOT A SHRINKING VIOLETA SOLID ROCK AM ISO DON’T BE THINKING I’LL CRUMBLEWHEN THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT HITS THE FANNick tries to speak. She puts asilencing finger to his lips.BEA (CONT’D)THERE’S NO PROBLEM THAT’S TOO BIGWHEN YOU’RE MARRIED, THAT’S THE GIGSO DON’T BE A SEXIST PIG!(MORE)5/6

6/21/15SOMETHING ROTTEN20.BEA (CONT’D)IS IT ASKING TOO MUCH OF YOU?IT’S ONLY ‘CAUSE I LOVE YOULET ME BE YOUR RIGHTIN FACT I’LL SHOW YOU THAT I’M RIGHT.She puts a coat and a hat on and grabs abow and arrowNICKWhat are you doing now?BEAI’m gonna get you boys some MEAT!(singing)BABY I’M YOUR RIGHTDON’T PUT UP A FIGHTI CAN BE YOUR RIGHTSTARTING HERE TONIGHTLET ME BE YOUR RIGHT HAND MANLET ME BE YOUR RIGHT HAND -- MANENDShe slams the door and is gone.NICKWhat just happened?NIGELOh, I’d love to have someone like that.It’s sweet.6/6

#4"Something Rotten"Right Hand ManApril 6, '15Words & Music byWayne Kirkpatrick &Karey KirkpatrickBEA: I'll go out and earn some moneyand that'll take the pressure off you guys.NICK: Bea, listen. [GO]BEA: No, you listen. Cause I keep telling you and telling you but you just don't seem to get it.Driving 4 q 154b b b 41b&b 4 2 34ÓŒBEA:œ œIf you œ œ œjbbb 4 ‰ ‰ Œb‰‰Œ‰‰‰Œ‰‰&b 4 jjjjjjjœœ ‰ œœ œœ ‰ Œ‰ œœœœœœœœœœ œœ œœ œœœœfpp? b b b 44 j ‰ ‰ j Œ j ‰ ‰ j Œ‰ œ ‰ j ‰ ‰ j Œ j ‰ ‰ ‰ œj ‰ Œbb œœœœœœ œœnœœ œ5bb&bbb œœ œ œ œ œœ œ67jœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ jœ œ œ e-ver got in trou -ble I would be there on the dou - ble, just to bail you outb& b b b b œj ‰ ‰ n œœj Œ b œj ‰œœœœœF? b b b œj ‰ ‰ œj Œj‰bb œœœ‰ j Œœœœ‰ œj Œ8ÓŒ œ œIf there'sj ‰ ‰ œj Œ j ‰ ‰ ‰ j ‰ Œœœn œœœœœ œœœ œœœœœœf jj œj‰‰œ‰‰nœŒ ‰ ‰ ‰ œj ‰ Œœœœœ œœnœ œ‰œœœ ‰ œœœ

-2-#4-Right Hand Man04-06-15BEA:1011jbbbœbœœœœœœœœ œ&b œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œjœ œ9a - ny-thing you lack you know I've al-ways got your back that's what it's all a - boutb& b b b b œj ‰ ‰ n œœj ŒœœœF? b b b œj ‰ ‰ œj Œbb œœb& b bbb13Œ œ œ œ bœ œThink of me as yourb& b bbbjœ œ Œœ.1415side - kick, œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ n œœœ. . . . . . . . . . . .F? bb bÓ‰‰ œb b œj ‰ Œœ17bb&bbb œ‰j ‰ ‰ œj Œœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ18œœœ.Óœœ œœœ. œ.? bb b j ‰ ‰ j Œbb œbœHelp - ing you when - e - ver I canœœ A œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœœ. . . . . . .j ‰ Œœœ œ œœ œ&bbbb20b œb& b bbbf? bb bbbmanœœœœœŒjjœœœ ‰ ‰ n œœœ Œj‰ ‰œÓœ œjœœœœ ‰ n b œœj ‰nœj Œœj ‰ j ‰œbœ19œœœ.Ó21 4422 I'm‰‰ œ œj ‰ Œœ œœ œœ œœ f‰ œ‰œœ ‰œ‰ œœ œ œœ œ œ œLet me be your right handj ‰ ‰ j Œœœœœœœj ‰ ‰ œj ŒœœNICK: But you're not a man. I'm the man. BEA: Uggggh! He's not hearing me.34‰ jœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ .16more than just a wo - man, ba - by When the pres - sure's co - min' ba - byjjb& b b b b œœœ ‰ ‰ œœœ Œp . œ œ œ œ‰‰j œœ ‰ œœ œœ ‰ œœ ‰ œœfj‰ ‰ ‰ œ ‰ œ ‰œœ œ œ œj Œj‰‰œ‰ œ œœ n œœœœœœj j‰‰œ‰‰ œ Œœœœ œj ‰ ‰ j ŒœœœœŒ12Ó23Œj‰œœœjœ ‰œBEA:œ œIf you're ‰ œœœ œœœ œœ œœœ ‰ ŒœœœJœ œœœ œœœ œ œœœœ œœœ œœœ œ œœœfp (under dialogue)34 ‰j œ 44j‰ ŒŒj‰Œj‰‰œœœ‰ ‰ œœœ œ œ œœœ ‰ ‰ œ œœœœœ34 ‰œœœ .44œœœ

-3-#4-Right Hand Man04-06-15BEA:NICK: But. I’m not in a pickle.b& b bbb œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œjœ œ œ2425e-ver in26jœ a pic- kle, you can call for me and quick -'ll be how fast Iœ œ œ œj œ30me should be a team for an - y dream or an-y scheme that's how it should beb‰ j& b b b b œj ‰ jn œœj ‰ jb œj ‰œœœœ œ œ œœ œ œœ œ ? b b b œj ‰ ‰ œj Œj ‰ ‰ œj Œbb œœ œ b& b bbb œ32Sure,œ œ œ bœ œI could stay in theb& b b b b œœ. å œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ. . . . . . .? bb bbbjœ ‰ Œœ .Ó33‰ ‰ j‰Œœœœ œœœ œœœ ‰ ‰ œ ‰œ ‰œ œ œ œŒ31 .donej ‰ j œj ‰ j j ‰ ‰ ‰ j ‰ œ œ œ œœœ œ n œœ œ œœ œœœ œœœ œœœœ j‰ œ ‰ œ ‰ ‰ œj Œ j ‰ ‰ ‰ œj ‰ œœœ œ œ œ œœ œ -jœ œ‰ œjgroundœœ œœ œœ n œœœ. . . .œ.jœ œœœ œYou and‰œœœ ‰ œœœ œ.backŒ œ œrunb‰ j‰ j ‰ j œj ‰ j j ‰& b b b b œj ‰ j n œœj ‰ j b œj ‰‰œœ œ n œœ œ œœœœ œ œ œ œœœ œœœ œ œœœ œœœœ Fjj Œ j‰? b b b œj ‰ ‰ œj Œj‰‰Œ‰‰œ‰‰jœœbb œœœœœœ œœ 2829bb&b b b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œÓ27œœœ.‰ ‰ œ Ó.justœœœ.œœœ.34œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œsmi - ling ev - 'ry now andœœ A œœœ œœœ œœœœ. . .j ‰ Œœ.œœœ.œœœ.Óœœœ.a - gainœœœ.œœœ.

-4-b& b bbb .35b& b bbb ‰NICK: And it's alovely smile.‰ j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ36But‰ œ œj ‰ Œœ œœœœ œœ? bb b ‰bbœ ‰ œ œ ‰ œ ‰œb& b bbb#4-Right Hand Man04-06-15just tobea pret - ty37la - dyœœ n œœœj ‰œ‰œ œœœ œ œ œLet me be your right handb& b bbb j ‰ ‰ j Œœœœœœœ? bb b j ‰ ‰ j Œbb œœœ39œŒ34manj‰ œ œœœœ œœ œ œœf pjœ ‰ œ ‰‰ œœ œ œœœ œ œœœ œŒ44CUT40Ó ‰pi - tyba - byjœœœœœ ‰ b b œœ ‰nœj ‰ j ‰œbœNICK: Eat your cabbage. 41œ œaj ŒœNIGEL: You should probably listen. She's usually right.38œ œ œ œthat would bejjœœœ ‰ œj œœœ ‰ œj œœj ‰œj ‰ ‰ j Œœbœœ‰4234 ‰44 œœ œ œœ œœ œ œœœœ œ œœœœ . œœœ.fjœœ œ œ œ œjœœ ‰Œœ I am strong-er than youj ‰ 34 ‰ œ œj œ œ 44 ‰‰ Œ j ‰ j ‰Œœœ œœ œœœ œœ œ ÓÓBEA:bjj jj‰& b b b b œjjjjœœœœ œœ œ œ œœ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ43b b b œœ.b&b œ44.‰ ‰ œœœ Œ45œœ. ‰ œœœ. ‰ ‰ œœœ. ŒœJ46œœ. ‰ œœ. ‰ ‰ œœ. ŒœœœJœœ. ‰ œœœ. ‰ ‰ œœœ. ŒœJthink Don't be think-in' I ain't tough I am where you ough- ta go when the go-in's get -tin' rough SoF? bb bb b œ.ŒÓœ.ŒÓœ.ŒÓœ. ŒÓjœœœ. ‰œJwhen things

-5-&bbbbb47œ nœarebV b bbbœœgo - ingÓœ.‰ œœœÓ? bb bbb‰Œ&bbV b bbb49Œœ.‰#œ œ œœŒŒŒ#fineœnotœ. ‰ ‰œnœÓ? bb bbbŒœ.ŒŒ#50Œ¿ŒLuvœ œ œœjœ ‰Œ ¿MmmŒWhat?jjœ ‰ Œ œœ ‰ Œœnœœ j‰ Œ j‰ Œœœ œœœÓŒœ.¿areNo, things areœœœ.œ. ‰ ‰But it's o - kayb b b œœ. ‰ ‰ œœ.b&b nœœœœ œ œŒœœj ‰œ BEA:œ. ‰ ‰#NICK:But if they weren'tœŒNIGEL:They kind ofBut they'reb b b œœ. ‰b&b nœbbbbœ48bad - lyŒœ. ‰Œ#4-Right Hand Man04-06-15jœ ‰BEA: Quit trying to protect me! 51¿ŒÓjœœœ ‰ Œ ÓWhat!!jœ ‰ Œ Ó