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uncan:Cuthbert:Duncan:[] The bungalow's floodedJump up, Cuthbert! Thebungalow's flooded!The bungalow? Flooded?Come on, hurry up.Just our luck! We're comfortablyin London for a month, comedown to the country on Sunday and on Monday we're flooded!Trust us!Shut up! Come on, double up therugs and stuff them above thecupboard. Chuck me that shovel.There's a ton of rubble that I dugout of the rubbish dump. I'll shoveit under the front door - it seems tobe coming from the front.Duncan! I'm stuck!Oh, brother! You're as much useas a bloody duck!If I 'd been a duck, I could haveswum! Oh crumbs! The mud'scoming in under the other one!We're done for! We'll be suckedinto the disgusting stuff!Hush! How wonderful! Thecurrent's suddenly swung. It's notgoing to touch us. unless. Iwonder] Making a pass at MarthaCharlie: The dance doesn't start till half past,Martha. Let's park the car under the arch byFarmer Palmer's barn. It's not far. Ah,here we are. There's the farm cart.Martha: Ooh, Charlie, it's dark!Charlie: The stars are sparkling. My heart isenchanted. Martha you are - marvellous!Martha: Your father's car's draughty,Charlie. Pass me my scarf.Charlie: Rather let me clasp you in myarms, Martha, my darling.Martha: Ah, Charlie! Your moustache is all nastyand sharp. I can't help laughing. Aren'tyou starved? Here, have half a Mars Bar.Ssh! There's a car passing.Charlie: Keep calm, can't you? It's only SergeantBarker. He plays darts in the “Bar of theStar and Garter”. Martha. darling.Martha: Don't be daft, Charlie! You can't startmaking a pass till after the dance![What’s wrong with the blondepopsy?Bob: Sorry, Tom. I wasn't gone long, was I?My God! What's wrong with the blondepopsy? She looks odd - sort of floppy.Tom: No longer a blonde popsy, old cock - abody.Bob: Oh my God! You gone off your rocker?I just pop off to the shop for a spot of.Tom: Stop your slobbering, you clot! So wegot a spot of bother. Come on, we got tosquash the blonde into this box and thenI want lots of cloths and a pot of water hot - and probably a mop - to wash offall these spots.Bob: Clobbering a blonde! It's not on, Tom!Tom: Put a sock on it, Bob, or I'll knockyour block off! (Knock, knock.)Bob: Oh my God! What's that knocking?Tom, Tom, it's a copper![Paul:] Fawns, horses and a tortoiseAny more of these awful autumnstorms, George, and we’ll be short ofcorn. I ought to have bought somemore in Northport.George: This morning, just before dawn, Ithought I saw signs of a thaw. I wassure –Paul:Sssh! Behind that door there are fourfawns that were born in the storm.They’re all warm in the straw now.George: Poor little fawns! Paul, what’s thatsnorting next door?Paul: Those are the horses’ stalls. They’resnorting at my daughter’s tortoise. Italways crawls around in the straw.George: If Claud saw us walking across hislawn . He’s an awful bore about hislawn.Oh, Lord, we’re caught! There isClaud! Now we’re for it!7

[[] Where are you, Hugh?Lucy: Hugh? Yoo? Yoo hoo! Hugh! Whereare you?Hugh: I’m in the loo. Where are you?Lucy: Removing my boots. I’ve got news foryou.Hugh: News? Amusing news?Lucy: Well, I saw June in Kew. You knowhow moody and rude she is as a rule?Hugh, are you still in the loo? What areyou doing?Hugh: Well, you see, Lucy, I was using thenew foolproof screwdriver on theHoover and it blew a fuse.Lucy: You fool! I knew that if I left it to you,you’d do something stupid. Youusually do.Hugh: And then I dropped the screwdriverdown the loo.Lucy: Hugh! Look at your shoes! And yournew blue suit! It’s ruined! And you –you’re wet through!Hugh: To tell you the truth, Lucy – I fell intothe loo, too.[], []How’s my pert little turtledove?1st bird: How’s my pert little turtledove thisearly, pearly, murmuring morn?2nd bird: I think I’m worse. I can’t turn on myperch. And I’m permanently thirsty –burning, burning. It’s murder.st1 bird: My poor, hurt bird. The world’s astir.I’ve heard that even worms are turning.A worm! You yearn for a worm!nd2 bird: I’m allergic to worms. Ugh! Dirty,squirming worms!st1 bird: I’ll search under the fur trees and thebirches, I’ll circle the earth – and I’llreturn with a superb firm earthworm formy perfect turtledove.nd2 bird: What an absurd bird! You’re verychirpy, Sir. I wish I were. All this fervidverse. I find it disturbing so early. I prefera less wordy bird.1st bird: No further word, then. I’m a bird witha purpose. Er – I’d better fly; it’s the earlybird that catches the worm – or so I’veheard.], []James Doyle and the boilermakers’ strikeOld gentleman: I say! What’s all that frightful noise?Boy:It’s the boilermakers from Tyneside. They’re on strike. I’m on the way tojoin them.Old gentleman: You a boilermaker?Boy:Me? No, I slave for United Alloys. But I’ll add my voice to anyone fightingfor his rights.Old gentleman: Wait! Why are they striking this time?Boy:A rise in wages mainly – and overtime for nights.Old gentleman: Why don’t they use their brains? A rise in pay means rising prices and greaterinflation. What’s the point? Who gains?Boy:That’s blackmail, mate. There’s high unemployment in Tyneside and theemployers exploit the situation. They pay a high trained boilermakerstarvation wages. It’s a disgrace.Old gentleman: What’s your name?Boy:James Doyle. I come from a line from fighters. My aunt Jane chained herselfto the railings in 1809. She was quite famous.Old gentleman: I shall be highly approved if you tie yourself to mine!8

English pronunciationi:a tree three leavesa beea sheepa fleet a seaice-cream for teaStephan meets EveStephan is greedy.He eats three pieces of cheese.Asleep. Stephan dreams of Eve.He sees Eve fleeing from three beasts.iinka shipa fisha biscuit a tin whistle a big piga kitchen sink with dishes in itWhich of the six thin women is a wicked witch?i: / iea little kittena sheep a ship a bean a bin a meala mill a leada lidJean likes gin. but gin doesn't like Jean!Sleepy Freda seeks size six slippers to fit her feet. Fish and chips are cheapand easy to eat.a leg a tent a penny a letter a wren's nestten well-dressed men a wedding-dresseleven hens with twelve eggs in ten nests.seven pets a treasure chesta hand a map a stamp a flag a tank a jazz banda fat man clapping his hands a black cat catching a fat rat.Anne has plaits and black slacks. Harry has a hacking jacket.Harry and Anne are standing hand in hand.a pat a pet one man many men a net a gnatpedalling paddling Ted has Dad’s hat on his headJack’s Czech friend Franz is very expansive.Franz’s French friend is very expensive.a puff a cup a glove a guna jump a ducka country cousina lovely crusty buttered bun for supper.Cuthbert puts some mustard on his Mother's custard.a thumpCuthbert's young brother wonders why Mother doesn't love her other son./a hat a hut, a battler a butler, a stamp a stump a banker a bunkerThese windows were shattered. These windows were shuttered,mashed potatoes with butter / mushed potatoes with battera:a heart a harp an arm a mast a bard a castlea palm a carpet a fast car a farm-cart a dark barn in a large farm-yard Markcan't park his car in the barn because of a calf and a large cart blocking thefarmyard.9

a park a puck, a carp a cup, a larva a lovera barking horse a bucking horsea dog a fog a blot a chop a shop a lot of knotsa dog squatting on a rotten logJohn Olive, John is strong Olive is notJohn is a dockerOlive is a shopperOlive watches John load a locked strong-box on a yacht in a lock at the dock./a dun a don, a huga hog,a suck a sock, a buddya body Thezoologist wonders about bugs. The botanist wanders about bogs.a darn a don, a tart a tot, a shark a shock, a RajahRoger This crosscountry runner is last. This cross-county runner is lost.a:A thoughta talk a yawn a call a stormy dawnMaud is short Paul is tallMaud is walking on the lawn. Paul is crawling along the wall.Maud warns Paul, “You’ll fall!” “Not at all!” retorts Paul./a cork a cock, a dawn a don,a sport a spot,a corset to cosset, a warm water bottlea dog’s paw/a butcher a cooka bull a rookThe cook looks at her cookery book. She puts some sugar in the pudding.The pudding looks good.Look at Luke, pulling a poor fool out of the pool in the wood.This foolish, bookish Duke is too full of good food to move a foot.a new moon a rude uncouth youth a brute a goosetwo new shoes a few used bootsHugh Sue Hugh's tooth is loose. Sue is beautiful.Hugh shoots a moose and loses his loose tooth.Sue is foolish and stupid at school as a rule.a stoolMurtle her purseher curl her jerseyher skirta dirty turtlean early bird with a squirming earth-worm a serpent lurking amid the fernsPearl Pearl is a circus girl.An earl gave Pearl a fur and a circlet of pearls for her thirty-first birthday.10

a balloona bananaa cactusa cormoranta fashionable photographer an adventurous professoran amateur astrologer a professional astronomeran abacusAlderman Sir Edward Anderson is a prosperous government official at theTreasury. The comfortable apartment of Sir Edward Anderson at Aldeburgh.A professional burglar has entered the apartment by a ladder that was at the backof the house.But an observant amateur photographer has focused a camera on the burglar andsummoned a police-constable.As the burglar leaves there is a policeman at the bottom of the ladder.a space ship a sailor a mate a great wavedaybreak a grey, rainy daya train waiting at the railway station.James plays with trains and planes. Jane bakes eight cakes.James Jane James takes a cake from Jane’s plate.an eye a wide smilea white kite flying high in the skya stilea bicyclea childfive white miceClive and DinahClive climbs high spires at night. Dinah is quite nice, but frightfully shy.Clive decides to invite Dinah to dine. He tries to find a fine white wine. Dinahdecides she would like to dine with Clive and arrives on time, but politelydeclines the fine white wine.Mr Hoylea boy a quoit soilMr Hoyle toils with the soil The boy is adroit with his quoit.a choicemoist oyster a loyal royalist Roy JoyceRoy is a noisy boy. Joyce is spoilt and coy.Joyce enjoys annoying Roy. Roy destroys Joyce's choicest toys.a taste a test,a sailor a seller,they raced I restDavid failed his exam. so he felled his examiner!Jane sails boats. Jen sells boots./to layto lay,a pain a pine,the lake that I likeDavid baits his hook. and a whiting bites it.//good boysgood-byes, a pointpoise. Giles walks off with pies.a pint, a foila file Joyce walks off with11

a goat, a cone, a note, an overcoat, poached eggs on toastan old coastal boat – JoanJoeJoan is combing her golden hair. Joe has a noble Roman nose.Joe and Joan go for a stroll. Joe shows Joan his roses.Joan won't go home alone, so Joe goes home with Joan.a scowla cloud a cowa scouta plougha routThis owl has found a brown mouse on the ground.A hound with a grouse in its mouth.proud cowedmountains and fountainsa round houseThe loud shouts and howls of the crowd of louts from the town drown thesound of the vows of the devout on the mound.a phone a faun, a load a lord, a stoke a stalkerJohn has bought his adoring daughter Joan a motor-boat with an outboardmotor./coals curls, a joke a jerk, floating flirtinga hope a hoop,a rollera ruler,//a bowa bow, a crone a crown,a cold figure a cowled figure//a foala goal a ghoula fowl,we conspire a spire a higher spire a fire a tyre some wirea towel a tower our shower in a flowery bowerHoward is a coward, says Brian.Brian is a liar, says Howard. Brian glowers sourly at HowardA seer a spear fear a deer a teara theatre A dreary peer sneers in the grand tier.At the rear they hear the peer and jeer.But here, clearly the cheers for the hero are fierce.The wary hero (King Lear) is nearly in tears.tear swear share despair various pairs of things to wearMary - Mary is scared of fairies in the dairySarah - Sarah has fair hair.Fair-haired Sarah stares warily at the hairy bear, glaring from his lair.12

Consonant Practicea church an archa chubby childa chair a watch-chain andwatchCharles scratching his itching chin.Charles is a cheerful chicken-farmerA poacher is watching Charles' chickens, choosing which to snatch.He chucks at the chance of a choice chicken to chew for his lunch.But the chuckle reaches Charles, who chases the poacher and catches him.a jelly a juicy orange a large juggingerbread a jam-jarJones anaged judgea jolly juryThe aged judge urges the jury to be just but generousJeremya chick a jug a chillJilla huge treasure chest on a large Chinese junkJoe plays Jazz - Richard plays chessa fingera fly a facea knifehalf a loaffour friends fifteen ruffiansThe rough tough ruffians make fierce faces to frighten the four friendsThe friends fight off the ruffiansFour oafs fall flat on the floor, and the rest flee in feara stove a vest vice virtueseven devils a village vicarVictor, Vivian, Eve, Vivienne, every eveningVictor and Vivian are rivals. Both vow to love Eve forever.But Eve is very vain, Vivienne is vivacious and full of verve.Eventually, Victor gives Eve up and goes over to Vivienne, leaving Eve toVivian.333333333 333333Arthur Smith, a thick-set, healthy athlete sees three thieves throw a thong roundThea's throat and threaten to throttle her. He throws one thug to earth with athud that shakes his teeth. Both the other thieves run off with a filthy oath. Theathanks Arthur for thrashing the three thugs.13

a laugh a latha thin FinnFrances has a First Francis has a thirstPhilip fought while Philippa thoughtThis useful thread is free. This youthful Fred is three.weatherwreathsa feathera leather tetherThese bathers are breathing through their mouthsSmooth breathing is rather soothingThese are three brothersThis is their other brotherThese are their father and mothersome spinsters several mice a sawa saucerseven sausagesSue and Cecily are sisters.Sue is sixteen this summer, Cecily was seventeen last SundaySue is sowing grass seed.She sees Cecily asleep with a glass of cider and a nice sixpenny ice by her side.Sue slips across, sips the glass of cider and eats the ice.a zoocagesprison barsa zebraa zebuZoe is visiting the zoo.A lazy zebra called Desmond is dozing at the zoo.He feels flies buzzing round his eyes, ears and nose.He rouses, opens his eyes, rises and goes to Zoe.Zoe is wearing a rose on her blouse. Zoe gives Desmond these buns.daisiesa thumba sum a moutha mousea path a passa racea wraithThe cook thickens the soupThe soup sickens the cookThe atheist has lost faithThis Asiatic has lost faceThe third Thursday of this month is the sixteenthMosquitoes are rising. The fishermen are writhingan endless fence across the endless fensa few pens costing a few pence14

a pair of robinsa shipwrecked marinera tree-trunka wrecka roperocksa rubber ringThis rusty wreck has run aground on the rocks of the Barrier ReefRowena is very rich and rides her mare in Rotten Row.Strawberries, raspberries and red-currants with real cream are reallyvery refreshing.This train and its trucks are trapped by a tree-trunk across the track.Three hundred readers used the library reading room in the period fromFebruary to April, reports the librarian.rubbish Sheilaa rasha shawla traditional politicianThis shop is a fish shopsix sheepa mission station in the bushSheila has just finished washing this sheet in her washing-machinecamouflage invasion a visiona tape measuretreasurerougea windowthe Wild Westa weeping willowa wicked womana sweet white wine a wigWilliam is worried about woodworm in the woodwork of his wardrobeWhy wouldn't Walter wash with water that wasn't warm?Walter works at a waxworks and wax won't wash off without warmwatera valea whalea viper a wipera versea worse verseWhy is the worse verse worse than the first verse?William always wears a very warm woollen vest in winterVictor, however, will never wear woolen underwear, even in the WildWest15

[] The great decisionI have made a great decision, Jean. Ihave bought a televisionYou? Jacques, on how manyJean:occasions have you told me thattelevision was an intrusion into theprivacy of the house, that it destroyedthe pleasures of conversation, thatpeople no longer know how to makeuse of their leisure.Jacques : I know, I know. And it's unusual forme to suffer a revision of thought, buton this occasion.Where is this treasure?Jean:Jacques: Hidden in the garage. Please make noallusion to it. I shall tell the familycasually, as if there were nothingunusual in my buying a television.After years of derision -1 hope youJean:will not be disillusioned by hard:Charles:Richard :Charles :] Life is a question of choice or chanceIf you could recapture yourchildhood, Richard, would youchange much?Life is a sort of arch. Arrival todeparture. You can't switch direction,Charles. Each century brings changesbut actually, Nature doesn't change.But you can reach different decisions.With television, you can choosewhich channel to watch, switch toanother picture. You could catch adifferent train. Given the chance,Richard, would you change trains?Life is a rich adventure and largely aquestion of chance. You don't chooseyour future as you choose a chocolateor a piece of cheese.But, Richard, you do choose. Youforge your own future - a butcher? acellist? a teacher? a merchant? Eachchoice suggests a further choice which tree, which branch, whichtwig?Let's adjourn to the kitchen forchicken and chips. No choice forlunch, you see, Charles!But you actually choose chicken andchips! Chops would have been muchcheaper![Dr Jones:George:Dr Jones:George:Dr. Jones:George:Dr. uth:] George's jawAh, George, jolly good. Justexchange your jacket and jeans forthese pyjamas, while I jot down yourinjuries in my register. Age, religion,that's the usual procedure.Well, Doctor Jones, I was justdriving over the bridge on the edge ofthe village.Half a jiffy. Let's adjourn to thesurgery. I've got a large sandwich andajar of orange juice in the fridge. Joinme?Jeepers! My indigestion. and myjaw! I shan't manage.A generous measure of gin - just thejob!It's my jaw, Doctor. I was on thebridge at the edge of the village. I wasjust adjusting the engine when thissoldier jumped out of the hedge.Imagine! He damaged your jaw, didhe? I suggest an injection into thejoint. Just a jiffy. I'll change thesyringe.Oh jeepers! Gently, Dr Jones![ ] My birthday's on ThursdayIt's my birthday on Thursday. Mysixth birthday,My seventh birthday's on the 13thnext month, so I'm - let me think 333 days older than you, Ruth.Do you always put your thumb inyour mouth when you're doingarithmetic, Arthur?My tooth's loose, Ruth. See? I likemaths. I came fourth out of 33. Myfather's a mathematician.My father's an author. He writesfor the theatre. We're very wealthy.When I'm thirty I'll have athousand pounds.I'm going to be an Olympic athlete.I may be thin but Mr Smith saysI've got the strength of three.Watch me. I'll throw this thing thelength of the path.Oh Arthur! You've thrown earth allover us both. I'm filthy! Nowthey'll make me have a bath!16

[r] The respective merits offrogs and y rabbit can roar like a rhinoceros.Rubbish! Rabbits don't roar, Roger.You're wrong, Barry. My rabbit's anArabian rabbit. They're very rare.When he's angry he races round andround his rabbit run. And if he's in areal rage he rushes on to the roof androars.How horrid! Really, I prefer my frog.I've christened him Fred.Freddie Frog! How ridiculous!An abbreviation for Frederick. Well,you remember when I rescued himfrom the river last February? He wascrying like a canary. He wasdrowning.Really, Barry! Frogs don't ther:Mother:Father:Mother:Father:The TonicThe main stress usually comes on the laststressed word of a sentence. Now we shall seehow you can alter the whole meaning of asentence simply by shifting the point of mainstress - the TONIC, as it is called. In thesentence "John didn't speak to Mavis", themain stress will normally be on "Mavis",holding the listener's attention right to the endof the sentence. But if you alter the stress youcan imply all sorts of different meanings:John didn't speak to Mavis. (Peter did) Johndidn't speak to Mavis. ( you've got it allwrong)John didn't speak to Mavis, (he wrote to her)John didn't speak to Mavis, (he spoke toAnna) Notice how after the Tonic, what's leftof the sentence stays at the same pitch, withvery little stress even on normally stressedsyllables.Practice shifting the Tonic yourself:Are you coming to Majorca with us thissummer?Can you add something to each sente

band. Sally and Janet, me on the piano, Alec on the sax - the Galactic Static. It'll be an absolute smash hit. Gran: The Galactic Racket, if you ask me. And you'll smash is Granddad’s piano. Jack: Gran, we have talent. We're cool cats, man. Crackle, crackle, Galactic Static! Gran: The yo