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Things I’ve learned aboutBuffy in the past 3 hours:† Buffy is old enough to drinkin bars† Buffy had sex with a vampireone time† Buffy has bad taste in men† Buffy’s outfits in previouslinear time were much betterthan the ones from thisepisode† Buffy is fit as hell† Buffy bleeds human blood† Buffy is interested inromantic connections† Buffy lives with her mumand sister† Her boyfriend has medicalcombat training, but isunable to count when itcomes to vampires† Buffy is in the bestphysical shape of her life† Buffy has a very youngyounger sister who plays ashitty character in GossipGirl years later† Buffy doesn’t want her mumto know she’s tough and goodat killing vampires† Buffy has super healingpowers† Buffy has terrible greenstriped wallpaper and apenchant for butterflystickers† Buffy’s friends are goofy ashell† Buffy likes lip glossOkay, I almost fellasleep for a secondthere, time for bed.See you bright andearly tomorrow.WATC H 6:8:59 AM. I just woke upand I have a hot cupof coffee. Its Tuesdaymorning 9th July.So I thought for this watchI’d have some speculationsabout different characters inthe show. Here goes:COMBAT MEDICAL TRAININGBOYFRIEND: Buffy describesthis boyfriend as a “summerbonus” at one point, so thatmakes me think that maybe theyhaven’t been dating very long.There’s no affection in any ofthe scenes, and Buffy doesn’tseem to actually trust thisguy. Maybe she just got outof another relationship? Maybewith a vampire or some toughguy? And this is the sensiblenice guy rebound? But alsothe fact that this kid killslike 5 vampires no problemand “moves like a jungle cat”makes me think that Buffydoesn’t give him enough creditand maybe he’s gonna end upbeing a sneaky secret vampirebad boy.BUFFY’S KID SISTER: this kidBUFFY’Shas the most amazing silkyhair and perfect lip gloss andskin, so I think maybe she’san immortal. No pubescent teenlooks like this. She seemskeen to slay and thinks stabwounds are cool so I thinkBuffy should recruit her fora badass sister/sister slayingcombo.BUFFY’S CUTE MOM: she isgreat at being worried aboutgrocery lists, and pretendingto be more than fine when sheprobably has a brain tumour?She seems nice but is bad atconveying how she actuallyfeels about things. Maybethat’s where Buffy get itfrom.GILES THE BOOK DAD: Such acalming dad presence wow. Heseems to know a lot and howto read old books. I reckonhe’ll end up crying overBuffy’s dead body probably.Foreshadowing.BUFFFY’S CUTE GINGER FRIEND:Wow what a cutie! I wish thisepisode was about her sheseems fun! She puts like 20chips in her mouth at once!And such a good fashion sense!I think she’s probably agoofy sidekick kind, rushinginto danger and getting intotrouble. Never takes anythingseriously enough.BUFFY’S GOOFY BRUNETTEFRIEND: This guy seems like agenuinely incompetent fool,but I guess he must have someredeeming features? Maybe heaccidently killed a vampireone time. I like his hugelanky body and yellow jumper.BUFFY’S CHILL AS HELL BLONDEFRIEND: How can a charactersmain feature be ditsy? Anyway,she seems like a cutie butin this episode she mainlyjust flips her scarf over hershoulder a lot. There’s a fewmoments where she looks likeshe’d like a line but theyjust don’t give her one.SPIKE: Wow there’s a lotto unpack for Spike thisepisode, its mainly flashbacksto his backstory. But at itsessence he seems like a toughboy who’s actually a softiedeep down, and really justwants someone to love him andsee him as worthy. I reallywish someone would love andvalue this boy but he seemssurrounded by people who onlymake him feel like he needsto be tougher and harder andmeaner. I guess that’s thevampire life. ANYWAY He andBuffy have a nice moment atthe end and I makes me hopethat they’ll have a niceblossoming friendship wherethey can support each otherin their vampire exploits.But knowing TV, Buffy willprobably just end up cheatingon her Combat Medical Trainingboyfriend with Spike.

BUFFY: From this episodealone, I think Buffy isworried about seeming weak tothe people immediately aroundher - maybe at the start ofher being a vampire slayershe was more vulnerable, butin season 5 I guess she’sbeen doing it enough that shethinks she’s an expert andalso that she needs to bean expert. She seems kind ofreluctant to receive help fromher friends and even thoughshe’s injured she still goesout to drink with a dangerousvampire in a bar. Buffyis really tough and selfsufficient, but I think that’ssomething she’s been workingon for the past few seasons. Ireckon in the next few seasonsshe’ll arch back down tobecoming more reliant on thepeople around her, maybe evenfall in love? And then she’llbe vulnerable to vampires whomight kill that love. Thatseems like a TV show for sure.Okay to break structurefor a second, I justwanna talk about whatit’s like to watch thesame episode of Buffy 6times in the course of12 hours. It sucks.I’m getting to a point whereI can see certain parts ofthe episode coming up and Ijust really don’t want it tohappen. Like not this again.Please Joss Whedon.Don’t let Spike awkwardly hiton Edwardian women who don’tlike him. I don’t want to seeit again! And I mean reallySpike should know betterafter all this time, it hasn’tworked any of the other times.Also everytime that the actorsdo a really bad acting or abad take I just wanna shakethem and tell them to do abetter job. Like why was thisthe facial expression youchose for this line! This isnothing! Being a vampire isn’tan excuse!WATC H 7:Its 10:01AM, I’ve hada shower and now have ahot porridge breakfast.I feel mentallyprepared to watch Buffythe Vampire SlayerEpisode 7 Season 5.I’ve been thinking, it’s verystrange that Buffy’s boyfriendjust leaps out of the darknessat 03:18 to save Buffy in herexact moment of need, butalso asks her immediately“What happened?” like hewasn’t watching? Was he justpassing through the cemeteryfor a nice night time walk?He continues to ask questionsabout the fight hours laterwhen he’s attending to Buffy’sinjury, like seriously is heshort sighted?I love the idea that Buffy’smum is so keen to ask Buffy ifthey can go over the grocerylist she walks into herdaughters bedroom where shemight be having sex. Maybe shedoesn’t want her to be havingsex? But she looks about 27 sothat seems kind of strange.Buffy offloads all of herduties, like household choresand vampire patrol, becauseshe’s too injured but thenimmediately decides to goto do vampire sleuthing andplaying pool in a bar. This isa real dickhead move Buffy.Maybe Buffy just hates doingthe dishes?Why are Buffy’s “gang” soincompetent and chilled out?Its Season 5! Surely they’veseen some real shit by now,don’t they know that theycould die at any time? Maybethey want to die? Or I guessmaybe they’re not actuallyjust teens but actuallythey’re immortal beingswho are impossible to kill.Werewolves?Is it always night time inBuffy episodes? I really wannaknow what Buffy does duringthe day!! I guess maybe shejust sleeps if she’s beenvampire slaying all night.Turning slightly to the rightto order buffalo wings makesBuffy’s stab wound hurt, butlater she has a full on roughand tumble fight with Spikeand is fine? Maybe she reallydoes heal very fast. Or maybeshe was trying to get out ofordering those buffalo wings.“Patrol” seems to consist ofmainly hanging out in thecemetery and eating chipsloudly - do vampires only hangout in one place? In this veryspecific location in America? Iguess they’d have to for Buffythe Vampire Slayer to makesense.Spike’s hair continues to growover time, but his vampirebuddies look exactly the same.Do they slightly trim theirhair every few months? Do theyhave to shave to stay cleanshaven?The Chinese Slayer is reallyshow offish in her fightingstyle and constantly shows herback to her enemy just to docool flips and whip her swordaround. I guess this couldbe on purpose to show how shewanted to die? Also its reallywild to me that this takesplace in this big Buddhisttemple, I wonder if its a setor an actual real place.The 4 vampires are justcasually walking throughthis city being burned to theground, and they stick outlike a sore thumb but no-onetakes any notice of them.Being a vampire doesn’t makeyou invisible! Or does it

I still can’t believe that abar full of people see a womanattacked at a pool table andwatch her scream out in pain,but then just let her walkout of there with the guy whodid it without checking she’sokay.Combat Medical Trainingboyfriend says he’s gonna comeback and kill the vampires atdaybreak, but he is lettingoff grenades in mausoleums atthe same time that Buffy isleaving the bar, and there’sno way that its day breakbecause she goes and talksto her mum immediately afterthis! Why is he lying to thegang about when he’s gonnakill the vampires? Is hetrying to prove himself? Or ishe a sneaky sneak thief?www.Badboy.comWhy doesn’t Buffy kill Spike?Is she in love with him? Or isit against slayer code to killhelpless vampires?Spike gets his head thrownthrough a subway window anddoesn’t bleed at all. Vampiresmust be super tough. Buthe did start bleeding froma sword attack to the headpreviously so I guess it justdepends on how they’re feelingon the day?I think Vampires maybe can’tfeel the cold, because Spikeseems to just wear whateverhe thinks would be cool ratherthan something that matchesthe actual temperature. Peoplearound him might be wearingheavy leather jackets buthe’s gonna wear a black punksinglet because that’s whathe’s into.The blonde vampire that livesin Spike’s crypt house asksthat he doesn’t drive a spikethrough her heart “like lasttime”, but she’s not dead so I guess vampires can’t killother vampires with stakes?Or maybe that’s just a funthing vampires say to othervampires.Buffy gets home from drinkingat a bar and getting toldthat she wants to die andbeing upset about it ANDIMMEDIATELY writes a grocerylist for her mum? What agood daughter. She also takesthe time to put on a cute newoutfit and necklace in order togo cry on the back porch. Soconsiderate.WATC H 8:Its 10:55AM, I justbrushed my teeth,let’s do this thing.I thought I might give youa run down of my favouriteweird moments and some randomthoughts I usually have whenI watch episode 7 season 5 ofBuffy the Vampire Slayer:† Marc Blucas is a super dumbname.† The bit in the openingcredits where Spike does apose for the camera gets meevery time.† Fuck Buffy’s baby bluesweater and black scarfcombo in the opening scene.Is that really what you wantto be wearing when you go tokill vampires?† When Buffy says she wants tobe more “like a cheeto”.† When Spike says “asthought some nastygot a taste of you”totally incongruousaccent.Ithingin thissouthern† The facial expressionsof everyone at Spike’spre-vampire 1880 Londonparty, it’s so overdone.† When Spike says “I know I’ma bad poet, but I’m a goodman.”† When Spike’s vampire loversays “that burning baby fishswimming all around yourhead” and makes a circularmotion over her belly? Istill haven’t been able towork that one out† When Spike says “Oh yes Imean no! I mean, Mother’sexpecting me.” Really goodway to react to any offerreally.† I really enjoy Spike’sperformance of turninginto a vampire, he keepssaying “ow” like she doesn’trealise how much itshurting.† How the blond side-kickcharacter has to constantlyflip her scarf over hershoulder, she does it about6 times. Also it seems likeshe’s really struggling topay attention to the sceneand what’s happening. Shelooks cold? Maybe she’s justreally cold.† The bar that Spike and Buffyare in is really wild. Ithas a food counter withglass cases with pies orcakes in it? And also astage with a full drum kiton it and nothing else, anda wrought iron hanging chaircovered in vines right nextto the pool table? And a lotof people drinking out ofblue and red plastic cups?

† When Spike accuses thevampire dad of being a“poofter”. Feels reallyout of place. But I googledit and apparently that wassomething you could say tosomeone else in 1880.† Everytime the vampires turninto their gross selves Ithink wow that must havetaken a while in the makeupchair did they really needto do that?† I love how the vampire squadis all wearing a mix of redand black, very powerfulgang look.† When fucking Spike justsucks on a lime and throwsit away, except they nevershow where the lime camefrom or where it went?Like they’re playing pool,where are you throwing thislime? Mr Whedon why was thisa decision you made?† I love how everytime atminute 29:19, Buffy’sboyfriend pulls the pin on agrenade, makes eye contact,slowly puts it down and thenruns out of the Mausoleumand the vampires just neverreally react? Do they notknow what grenades are?Also the idea that Buffy’sboyfriend really doesn’tgive a shit about blowing upa sacred resting place isgreat.† I love everything aboutSubway Slayer’s look: likewhere was she going in thesepowerful lace up pants andfloor length leather jacketbut also a super comfortablecasual brown cotton top? SOPOWERFUL.† Spike’s punk singlet in thesubway scene is also reallywild, there must be about 40safety pins on it and theyare spread pretty uniformlyacross only the front of theshirt. It’s the most orderlyanarchy I’ve ever seen.† Buffy’s walking style as shestruts away from a cryingSpike.† Spike’s sniveling as herushes to pick up Buffy’smoney while crying.† WHY IS THERE A VERY WETAND STICKY ANTLERED MAN IHAVE TO KNOW ITS WILD. ISTHIS JUST A THING? IS THESTICKY ALL THE TIME OR IS ITA SEX THING?† Do you think Spike dyes hisown hair?† Buffy’s mum’s bedspread,curtains and overnight bagmatch so perfectly.† The theme music is recordedby someone called NerfHerder.WATC H 9:Its 11:42 AM, the dogis asleep on my bed,and it’s time for thepenultimate watch.Can I just say, Buffy’s hairlooks so much better in theopening credits. Maybe theoverarching character trendfor Buffy is to get worseand worse hair and clothes.Anyway, I’m gonna have somethoughts about what theoverall Buffy story arch is,based on episode 7 season 5 ofBuffy the Vampire Slayer.So Buffy is the best physicalshape of her life, so I canonly assume that over the last5 seasons she’s been gettingripped and learning martialarts, and boning up on slayerlore with her book dad Giles.I assume that someone appearedin the night to let her knowthat she’s the chosen slayerto kill vampires, and fromthat point onwards she hada variety of increasinglydifficult tests of vampirescoming to get her? Or maybeshe becomes aware that thereare vampires all around andshe just keeps running intothem. I think for at least 10episodes she tries to keep herfriends and kid sister in thedark about vampires, but byseason 5 obviously it’s allcome out and they’re helpingher slay vampires.I do know for sure that Buffyhas a type, which is “badboy and/or vampire”, so sheprobably has slept with atleast 3 vampires and 5 badboys by this point. I’m gonnahedge my bets on at least 2distinct love triangles. Ipredict that there might besome chunky romantic conflictcoming up between Buffy’scurrent boyfriend and Spike.Buffy doesn’t seem to have aspecial weapon, but I thinkthat she might end up with oneby season 7 - some kind ofsuper vampire killing weapon!Like a really looooong spike!I do also have a suspicionthat she might end up aseither a vampire or some kindof immortal being by the endof all the seasons, or maybeeven slightly before theend so that we can explorethe ramifications of that onscreen. I think that if ithasn’t already happened, oneof her sidekick friends willget seriously injured/killed/or turned into a vampire.I could totally see Buffy’sboyfriend ending up as avampire that’d be classic.I think by Season 7 Buffywill have found out aboutsome kind of big bad: maybea big vampire coven or eventhe source of vampirism?Maybe someone trying to turneveryone into a vampire?Some kind of huge evil thatonly Buffy can defeat (withthe help of her friends ofcourse).

WATC H 10:Its 12:26 PM on Tuesday the 9th of July.This is the last time I have to watch the Buffythe Vampire Slayer episode Fool for Love.I feel a great sense of relief seeing Spike doing his terribleawkward thing up on the screen and knowing it’s the last time Ihave to watch it. It hasn’t been as hard as I would have thought towatch this same 42.43 minute piece of media 10 times, but it hasn’tbeen super easy either. The awkward moments and bad acting get moreand more grating everytime, while the things I enjoyed about theoriginal watch become more and more intense in their brightness incomparison. I have attached a graph to plot my general mood andenjoyment across the episode, and you’ll see that while there areintense highs there are also great lows - and also just patches ofcomplete mediocrity. Do you think that the editors had to watchthis episode 10 times in order to make it? Did they have any senseby the end of the it whether it was a good episode of Buffy theVampire slayer?this bit is when Spike iswriting his terrible poetry.T H I S I S M Y S EC O N D F AVO U R I T E S C E N E . I T S R E A L G O O D .This specific episode wasrecommended to me by acomplete stranger and I cansee why they would like it:Spike seems to be a recurringcharacter and you get to knowall sorts of weird thingsabout his backstory thatseem very incongruous to hiscurrent flavour of standoffishasshole. I have a feeling thatthis episode might be prettydifferent to other episodes,from what I know about Buffyfrom general pop culture:there’s no hunt, there’s nomystery, it’s just exposingbackground on some characterswe’ve already met while someother big bad is brewing inthe background.I will say that those kind ofepisodes are my favourite inother series I’ve watched soI get it. It’ll be interestingto go back and watch Season1 of Buffy with this tinyglimpse into her future,especially knowing how muchof a dick Spike is and thatshe sleeps with him. I wish Icould warn her not to! But Iguess Buffy is her own dad andshe can take care of herself.If I could say onething to Buffy it wouldbe: don’t trust yourCombat Medical Trainingboyfriend he seems likea shady character.

Thanks for reading my ramblings aboutBuffy the Vampire Slayer “Fool for Love”(episode 7 season 5)This zine was written and produced in thespace of 20 hours so please be gentle.I went a little insane.If you ever want to chat very specificallyabout this episode, hit me up on instagram@dr.jesseddiBut please, no Buffy spoilers.This zine was created on thestolen lands of Wurundjeripeople of the Kulin nation.I pay my respects to Elderspast, present and emerging andacknowledge that sovereigntyhas never been ceded.

Here are my 10 favourite things about “Fool for Love” (Episode 7 Season 5 Buffy the Vampire Slayer): 1. Ginger friend’s pink floppy bucket hat 2. When Spike is being turned into a vampire and he goes from quietly saying ow to screaming OW with a total of 13 ow’s. All extremely a