Transcription
The Five Love Languages ofTeenagersWords of AffirmationPhysical TouchQuality TimeActs of ServiceGifts
Teens are in a stage of radicaltransition Moody Teens Independent Teens Withdrawing or Angry Teens
Words of Affirmation Employee – notes and cards with specific thanks Kate – notes instilling courage and highlighting love Notes in lunches don’t work anymore Sending through the post Marker on the mirror
Physical Touch Dad’s first love language was physical touch Hugs, kisses, hold hands, pat on the back Foot rub On their terms Jack What happenswhen it is notyours?
Quality Time Charlie and the puzzle Togetherness Quality Conversation A change in communication style Maintain eye contact when your teenager is talkingDon’t listen to your teenager and do something at the same timeListen for feelingsObserve body languageRefuse to interruptAsk reflective questionsExpress understandingAsk permission to share your perspective
Quality Time Continued Quality Activities The Right Environment for Quality Time Choose Events Your Teen Likes “Looks like you had a hard day. Do you want to talk about it?”
Acts of Service Jack and his laundry Kate: breakfast and packed lunches Charlie’s trumpet Lucy’s closet and bookshelves Manipulation is not Love Model and Guide We want our teens to feel loved but also to know how to loveothers
Gifts Sarah and Christmas What makes a gift a gift Gifts and Materialism The well-being of your children Consider your teen’s interest
Fill all the buckets! Primary Love Language Identify and Model Ask questions Make observations Experiment
Breaking destructive patterns Admit the truth Develop strategies Engage the family member in conversation Do we push away with our reactions The silent teen Do they feel controlled Have our reactions taught them to not open up Analyze your anger and look at your options My own anxiety My pride
What about when your teen is right? Kate and the roller coaster Process anger in a positive way Work through anger to the point of resolution Gary Chapman’s son’s poem – written in his twenties
To consider The need for independence .and love The desire for emotional space “When you are ready, I am here to talk” The desire for social independence Listening to their own music Wearing different clothes The desire for intellectual independence The desire for personal space Kate in room drawing (processing)
Rules about Rules Rules should be as few as possible Rules should be as clear as possible Rules should be as fair as possible
Rules about Consequences Consequences should be determined before the violation Consequences should be administered with love Consequences should be administered consistently
Teens will fail Failure to meet expectations Moral failuresParents Don’t blame yourself Don’t preach to the teenager Don’t try to fix it Give your teenager unconditional love Listen to your teenager with empathy Give the teenager support Give guidance to the teenager
The Five Love Languages of Teenagers Gary Chapman Words of Affirmation Physical Touch Quality Time Acts of Service Gifts
Quality Time Charlie and the puzzle Togetherness Quality Conversation A change in communication style Maintain eye contact when your teenager is talking Don't listen to your teenager and do something at the same time Listen for feelings Observe body language Refuse to interrupt Ask reflective questions Express understanding .
