3.11 - Wimpykidclub.co.uk

Transcription

3.11.15

Life was be er in the oldOr was it?days.Heffley isThat’s the question Gregrilyasking as his town voluntanics-free.unplugs and goes electronveniences,But modern life has its coanand Greg isn’t cut out forold-fashioned world.andWith tension building insidewill Gregoutside the Heffley home,is goingfind a way to survive? Orfor a kid“old school” just too hardlike Greg?DIARY OF A WIMPY KID , WIMPY KID , and the Greg Heffley design are trademarks of Wimpy Kid, Inc. All rights reserved.

If me and Rowley were gonna open a lemonadestand, the first thing we needed was somelemons. We weren’t sure the exact number youwere supposed to use, so we went on the highside just to be safe.The only other ingredient for lemonade besideswater is SUGAR, but we didn’t know how muchof that we were supposed to use, either, so wejust eyeballed it.I figured after we added the sugar we werepretty much good to go, but Dad came by andtold us we were doing it all wrong.

Dad said that to make lemonade you need to cutthe lemons in HALF and then SQUEEZE theminto the water, which would’ve been nice to knowat the beginning.But Rowley was too scared to cut the lemonsbecause he said that would make his eyes water.I told him he was getting lemons confused withONIONS, but he was really fixating on theeye-watering thing.So I dug around in the garage until I foundsomething Rowley could use to cover his eyes.

Once Rowley was taken care of, we started cuttingthe lemons—which was a whole lot harder than Ithought it would be. And when I squeezed the firstlemon, I got a shot of juice right in the eye.It stung like crazy and I could barely see. Rowleystarted in with the whole “I told you so” stuff, butI really didn’t wanna hear it.After I got my vision back and we squeezed all ofour lemons into the water, we set up our stand onthe sidewalk in front of my house.

A few people stopped by our lemonade stand, butit was just to criticize everything we were doing.One lady told us we needed to stir the lemonadeto mix the sugar in better. But even after we didthat, she didn’t make a purchase.Another guy who tasted our lemonade complainedthat it was too SWEET and demanded his moneyback. Then the guy after HIM had a problemwith the fact that we were using the same glassfor every customer, even though we were rinsing itout after every use.

I got tired of people complaining that ourlemonade was too sugary, so I dumped out halfthe pitcher and added more water. But of coursepeople had a problem with THAT, too.I was starting to wonder why we ever evengot into the lemonade business to begin with.Especially after some little kid set up his OWNstand across the street. And it was prettyobvious he had help from his parents, because hisstand made ours look like a JOKE.

That’s when I had a GENIUS idea: I realizedif we just sold WATER instead of lemonade, wewould save ourselves a lot of money on ingredients.But I knew the water was gonna have to seemextra-special to get people to pay for it. So Icame up with an awesome-sounding name, then Ifilled up Manny’s baby pool so we wouldn’t run outfor a while.If we were gonna sell this stuff as “fitnesswater,” we were gonna have to let people knowit actually WORKED.So I had Rowley do some jumping jacks andpush-ups in front of our stand.

The problem is, he’s not in the best shape, so itwas a bad look for our company.We had one or two people stop by, but we werestill competing for people’s beverage dollars with thekid across the street. And it was getting a lottougher now that he’d put up a new sign.I realized we needed to move our operation to awhole new market, and I knew just the place:the town park. There was a big community cleanupdown there, and I figured there would be aTON of thirsty volunteers.

So me and Rowley loaded up a wagon with as muchof our product as we could carry and headed downthe hill.Unfortunately, when we got there, Mom spotted usright away and asked what we were up to. I toldher we were gonna sell our fitness water to everyonewho was willing to shell out five bucks.

But Mom said it was “tacky” to make a profitoff a bunch of volunteers who were sacrificingtheir Saturday to clean up the park. I told hereverybody who drank our water would be able tovolunteer TWICE as hard, and the whole cleanupwould go a lot quicker.While me and Mom were arguing about this, theladies who were working on the flower bed totallyraided our supplies. And before I could do anythingabout it, they had poured our entire inventory intothe ground like it was some cheap junk.

st bookseinnufehTyou’ll ever readLaugh-out-loud at wimpykidclub.co.uk

kid across the street. And it was getting a lot tougher now that he'd put up a new sign. I realized we needed to move our operation to a whole new market, and I knew just the place: the town park. There was a big community cleanup down there, and I figured there would be a TON of thirsty volunteers.