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GUIDE FOR PLANNINGA MEMORIAL SERVICEFUMCROCKWALL.COM 972-771-5500 1200 E. YELLOW JACKET LANE ROCKWALL, TEXAS
Hymn of PromiseIn the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;in cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;there’s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;in our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity.In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.- Natalie Sleeth, 19862 GUIDE FOR PLANNING A MEMORIAL SERVICE
Dear Friends,We know that planning the details of a memorial service can be overwhelming, and we wouldlike to assist you in any way that we can. It is our hope that this resource will guide you as you makedecisions.The Christian funeral is a worship service in which God’s people witness to their faith in the hopeof the Gospel, the communion of saints, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Christiansrecognize the inevitability of death, and the Christian Gospel powerfully addresses the reality andexperience of death. The belief of Christians in the resurrection from the dead is not a belief whichdenies the reality of death or suggests that persons have within them some form of immortality.Rather, it is a belief that God’s love and power are greater than the power of death, so that thoughwe die and cease to exist, we are given new life, a new existence in God’s eternity. All this, Christiansaffirm because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.A funeral/memorial service at First United Methodist Church of Rockwall is worship of the livingGod. The service is God’s way of bringing comfort to the hearts of those who mourn as scripture isread and preached, prayer is offered, praises are sung, grief is expressed, and remembrance ischerished. The presence of family and friends surrounding the bereaved at this time serves tosupport and strengthen those who sorrow. The funeral gives thanks for life and lifts meaningfulmemories from the life of the loved one, helping us learn vital lessons from them.It is our honor and privilege to walk alongside you and your family through this journey as weremember together, God is with us.Grace and peace,Rev. Christina HildebrandMinister of Life StagesFirst United Methodist Church of RockwallTABLE OF CONTENTS4 THE CEREMONY6 SUGGESTED HYMNS7 POTENTIAL SCRIPTURES9 TRADITIONAL ORDER OF SERVICE10 TO BE CONSIDERED AT THE TIME OF DEATH11 A SURVIVOR’S CHECKLIST12 PERSONAL INFORMATIONFIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH OF ROCKWALL 3
THE CEREMONYPURPOSE & TYPESPastoral Care in Time of GriefOne of the most valuable services the church provides at the time of death is that of pastoral care. Theminister should be consulted immediately when a death occurs, for they are uniquely equipped to give thoseChristian services which the bereaved family needs. The minister will meet with the family to arrange theservices.The clergy are honored to come to the home or hospital to be present in Christ and offer comfort andprayer with the bereaved. If death is not sudden or unexpected, we pray that the family will have been intouch with a member of the clergy prior to the death.The Purpose of a CeremonyThe death of a loved one is a life-changing experience. A meaningful, well-planned memorial service maybring comfort and the beginning of healing for broken hearts. The service can be a benediction and a comfortto us, as well as a witness of faith. Meaningful funerals celebrate our loved one’s significant life by connectingus with our past, with those we love, and the hope of the promise of eternal life through faith in our Lord andSavior, Jesus Christ.Participating in a meaningful funeral or memorial service helps us begin to regain a sense of balance andto make that painful but necessary transition from life before the death, to a new normal for life after thedeath.Because it may be difficult when under emotional stress to plan wisely, members are encouraged todiscuss with their family in advance their wishes upon their death concerning the necessary arrangementsthat may include the Christian options of burial, cremation or donation for medical purposes.Services on the Occasion of DeathThe funeral or memorial service attempts to honor the life of the deceased, offer comfort to the grieving,and recognize our dependence on the grace of God. Every aspect of the service should contribute to these threethings. The clergy and staff will work with families in developing an appropriate service for your loved one.On the day of the service, the family will be advised to gather in a designated area prior to the service. Theminister will meet with the family and lead them into the sanctuary. Photographs can be taken by familyand the funeral home prior to the service. Occasionally, the service is recorded for family who are unableto attend. All will be encouraged to silence their cell phones and other devices to ensure the sanctity of theservice.Service with a CasketThe distinction between a memorial service and a funeral service is the presence of the casket. A servicewith the casket is usually referred to as a “Funeral Service.” Without the casket, the service is referred to as a“Memorial Service.” Funeral practices are constantly evolving. If there is not a day and time designated as the“viewing,” the casket may be open prior to the service in the Methodist tradition.4 GUIDE FOR PLANNING A MEMORIAL SERVICE
Service with CremationCremation is a matter of personal preference. It is not inconsistent with the Christian faith. Servicesare available at cemeteries, mausoleums, and/or columbaria.Services of CommittalInterment may precede or follow the worship service. Members and friends of the family may gatherat the graveside or columbarium for a service of farewell, which is to be conducted with simplicity, dignity,and brevity. The service includes readings from scripture, prayers, words of committal, and a blessing,reflecting the reality of death, entrusting the one who has died to the care of God, and bearing witnessto faith in the resurrection from the dead. Because fraternal, military, or civil rites are not part of theworship service, these organizations may pay tribute to the deceased before or following the Christianservice.Casket CoveringsThe family may choose to place flowers or a pall on the casket. The use of a pall is a revival of anancient Christian custom. The pall, a handsome cloth spread over the casket, is used to witness that allare equal in God’s sight and each beloved by God, “as in baptism .put on Christ, so in Christ may .beclothed in glory.”A Christian service may also be enhanced by its simplicity in the faith that God looks within the heart andnot on outward material things. To honor veterans, an American flag may drape the casket.MusicMusic is a universally unifying medium that can bring comfort to mourners and speak for them whenwords are inadequate. Clergy will work with the organist or Director of Music & Arts and the family in alldecisions on music selection. Arrangements for soloists or instrumentalists may be made through theDirector of Music & Arts.Congregational hymns are encouraged as a wonderful instrument to celebrate the life of the deceased.Listed later in this booklet are suggested hymns appropriate for a funeral or memorial service.Pre-Service Memory VideoMany times, either the funeral home or members of the family will create a video that includespictures and music as a way to remember, honor, and celebrate their loved one. The video will run priorto the service. It is important that the video be on a USB drive in the MP.4 format. Please contact thechurch office for system compatibility requirements.MealOn occasion the family will gather for a meal prior to or following the service and the church canprovide a space for food and fellowship. Friends from the loved one’s Sunday school class or small groupministry will often provide a meal for the family. In some cases, referrals for catering are available for thefamily to utilize.The Mourning AfterPastoral care will be offered during the grief recovery period. Means of Christian compassion in themonths following the death of a loved one can be expected by the bereaved. Ongoing ways of honoringand remembering a loved one may be guided by the clergy.Grief is hard work. Healthy grief reconciliation will allow the mourner to adjust to the new reality ofmoving forward in life without a loved one. The presence of clergy or a Christian companion can offer amore grace-filled experience through the love of Christ. As a means of God’s healing grace, Grief SupportGroups and Healing Services may be offered by First United Methodist Church of Rockwall.FIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH OF ROCKWALL 5
SUGGESTED HYMNSFROM THE UNITED METHODIST HYMNAL0 For a Thousand Tongues to SingJesus, Remember Me0 God, Our Help in Ages PastJoyful, Joyful, We Adore TheeA Might Fortress Is Our GodLeaning on the Everlasting ArmsAll Hail the Power of Jesus’ NameLift High the CrossAmazing GraceLove Divine, All Loves ExcellingBe Still, My SoulMarching to ZionBe Thou My VisionMy Hope Is BuiltBecause He LivesNearer, My God, to TheeBlessed AssuranceOn Eagle’s WingsBlest Be the Tie That BindsPrecious Lord, Take My HandClose to TheeSoon and Very SoonFaith of Our FathersTake Time to Be HolyFor All the SaintsThe Church’s One FoundationGod of Grace and God of GloryThe Day of ResurrectionHe Leadeth Me, 0 Blessed ThoughtThe Old Rugged CrossHow Great Thou ArtWe’ll Understand It Better By and ByHymn of PromiseWhat a Friend We Have in JesusIn the GardenWhen We All Get to HeavenIt Is Well6 GUIDE FOR PLANNING A MEMORIAL SERVICE
POTENTIAL SCRIPTURESOLD TESTAMENTComfort, O comfort my people, says your God.Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to herthat she has served her term, that her penalty ispaid, that she has received from the Lord’s handdouble for all her sins.A voice cries out: “In the wilderness prepare theway of the Lord, make straight in the desert ahighway for our God.Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountainand hill be made low; the uneven ground shallbecome level, and the rough places a plain.Then the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,and all the people shall see it together, for themouth of the Lord has spoken.”A voice says, “Cry out!”And I said, “What shall I cry?”All people are grass, their constancy is like theflower of the field.The grass withers, the flower fades,when the breath of the Lord blows upon it;surely the people are grass.The grass withers, the flower fades; but the word ofour God will stand forever.(ISAIAH 40:1–8)Have you not known? Have you not heard?The Lord is an everlasting God, the Creator of theends of the earth.He does not faint or grow weary, his understandingis unsearchable.He gives power to the faint, and strengthens thepowerless.Even youths will faint and be weary, and the youngwill fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lordshall renew their strength,they shall mount up with wings like eagles,they shall run and not be weary,they shall walk and not faint.(ISAIAH 40:28–31)Other optionsExodus 14:5 –14, 19–31Israel’s deliveranceIsaiah 43:1 –3a, 5–7, 13, 15, 18–19, 25; 44:6, 8aGod will deliverIsaiah 55:1 –3, 6–13Hymn of joyPSALMSThe Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:he leadeth me beside the still waters.He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths ofrighteousness for his name’s sake.Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadowof death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.Thou preparest a table before me in the presenceof mine enemies:thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.Surely goodness and mercy shall follow meall the days of my life:and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.(Psalm 23)Other optionsPsalm 42 (UMH 777)As a deer longs for flowing streamsPsalm 43 (UMH 778)You are the God in whom I take refuge.Psalm 46 (UMH 780)God is our refuge and strength.Psalm 90 (UMH 809)From everlasting to everlastingPsalm 91 (UMH 810)My God in whom I trustPsalm 103 (UMH 824)Bless the Lord, O my soul.FIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH OF ROCKWALL 7
Psalm 116 (UMH 837)I will lift up the cup of salvation.Psalm 121 (UMH 844)I lift up my eyes to the hills.Psalm 139 (UMH 854)O Lord, you have searched me.Psalm 145 (UMH 857)The Lord is gracious and merciful.Psalm 146 (UMH 858)Praise the Lord, O my soul.Canticle of Hope (UMH 734)God shall wipe away all our tearsNEW TESTAMENTNow I would remind you, brothers and sisters, of thegood news that I proclaimed to you,which you in turn received, in which also you stand,through which also you are being saved.Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead,how can some of you say there is no resurrection ofthe dead?For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has notbeen raised. If Christ has not been raised,your faith is futile and you are still in your sins.Then those also who have died in Christ have perished.But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead,the first fruits of those who have died.But someone will ask, “How are the dead raised?With what kind of body do they come?”Fool! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies.And as for what you sow, you do not sow the bodythat is to be, but a bare seed, perhaps of wheat or ofsome other grain.But God gives it a body as he has chosen.What is sown is perishable, what is raised is imperishable.It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory.It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power.It is sown a physical body, it is raised a spiritual body.If there is a physical body, there is also a spiritual body.When this perishable body puts on imperishability,and this mortal body puts on immortality,then the saying that is written will be fulfilled:“Death has been swallowed up in victory.”“Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, isyour sting?”But thanks be to God, who gives us the victorythrough our Lord Jesus Christ.(1 CORINTHIANS 15:1–2a, 12, 16–18, 20, 35–38 a,42b –44, 54–55, 57)8 GUIDE FOR PLANNING A MEMORIAL SERVICEDo not let your hearts be troubled. You believe inGod; believe in Me as well.In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were notso, would I have told you that I am going away toprepare a place for you?And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will comeback and welcome you into My presence, so that youalso may be where I am.You know the way to the place where I am going.”(JOHN 14:1-4)Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth;for the first heaven and the first earth had passedaway, and the sea was no more.And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, comingdown out of heaven from God,prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,“See, the home of God is among mortals.He will dwell with them as their God; they will be hispeoples, and God himself will be with them;he will wipe away every tear from their eyes.Death will be no more; mourning and crying and painwill be no more, for the first things have passed away.”And the one who was seated on the throne said,“See, I am making all things new.”Also he said, “Write this, for these words aretrustworthy and true.”Then he said to me,“It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, thebeginning and the end.To the thirsty I will give water as a gift from the springof the water of life.Those who conquer will inherit these things, and I willbe their God and they will be my children.”(REVELATION 21:1–7)Other options2 Corinthians 4:5 –18Glory in GodEphesians 1:15 –23; 2:1–10Alive in Christ1 Peter 1:3 –9, 13, 21–25Blessed by GodRevelation 7:2 –3, 9–17The multitude of the redeemed
TRADITIONAL ORDEROF SERVICEGatheringThe family will gather with the pastor before the service for prayer.ProcessionalThe family will be ushered into the sanctuary to be seated.Words of Grace and GreetingWords of greeting are delivered by a pastor.Hymn or SongA congregational hymn, or special music may be sung.Pastoral PrayerThe pastor will offer prayer.Scripture ReadingsThe pastor or family may read Scriptures of your choosing.HymnA congregational hymn or special music may be sung (optional).ReflectionMemories shared by family or friends may be offered as planned ahead.Message/MeditationDelivered by the pastorHymnA closing hymn or special music may be sung.BenedictionA blessing usually offered by the pastor.RecessionalThe family is ushered from the sanctuary to prepare to greet loved ones.FIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH OF ROCKWALL 9
TO BE CONSIDEREDAT TIME OF DEATHThe following is a process that might be used at the timeof the death of a loved one. C all the church (972-771-5500) to contact your clergy,as their experience and concern for you will be veryhelpful. Your pastor can assist with scheduling issuesand answer immediate questions. Please consult witha clergy person before finalizing or announcing servicedate and time. L ocate any documents prepared by the deceased whichindicates their wishes as to a Christian burial. I f such documents do not exist, or cannot be found, andyou have not heard the deceased express any opinion inregard to the following, then examine your own position. D id the deceased, wish to be cremated? Did thedeceased, wish to donate their body to medical science? C hoose a funeral home and call them if not alreadydone, asking that they take the body into custody andawait further word on your plans. If the death occurs ina hospital, the hospital will call the funeral director foryou, upon your direction. If death occurs under hospicecare, hospice will make all necessary arrangements,upon you direction. Think about the kind of service you desire and the location.A funeral service with the body or cremains presentA memorial serviceA funeral Home, Church, or ColumbariumA simple graveside service Some questions to ask:- Is there a cemetery plot? Who owns it? Where is therecording document?- If you need to buy a plot, where will it be and howmany spaces will you need? You may want toconsider future burials.- In an effort to avoid undue expenses, prayerfullyconsider the kind of casket or urn you desire.- If there are cremains, what will be their dispositionstyle? D etermine whether or not you will have visitation at thefuneral home.10 GUIDE FOR PLANNING A MEMORIAL SERVICE C losed casket or open at the funeral home? In theUnited Methodist church tradition, the casket is usuallyclosed during the service. Who should be notified? Who will phone or write them? W ho is coming from a distance? Has the scheduling ofthe service taken this into consideration? Decide on the designation of memorial gifts. D ecide on two or three persons to meet with the funeraldirector to make arrangements, choose the casket orurn, and clarify clothing questions for the deceased.-F ull name-D ate and place of birth-D ate of death-F ather’s full name-M other’s full name (including her maiden name)-S urvivors (identify spouse and children by name,number of grandchildren, names of sisters,brothers, significant others)-M emberships (historical societies, serviceorganizations, clubs, church, activities in churchand community, etc.)-N ames of newspapers in which death notices andobituary items should appear (include local papersand also out-of-town papers, wherever there arefriends to inform). Classified death notices arepaid by you, usually through the funeral directorwho places the notices with the newspapers. Longerobituary news items based on the above informationmay be prepared and submitted to newspapers; theywill be published at the editor’s discretion.-S ocial Security number-M ilitary serial or service number may be obtainedthrough the Veteran’s Administration A fter the service day and time has been confirmedthrough the clergy with the church, and agreed uponwith the funeral director, family may begin to notifyother family and friends about the arrangements.
3 A Survivor ChecklistImmediate: Obtain signed death certificate and autopsy (if applicable) Within the first 24 hours, look for organ donation records; check for signed authorizations and arrange immediately Inventory safe deposit boxes and personal papers of the deceased. Look for burial insurance policies, prepaidmortuary or cremation society plans. Contact the church to ensure that the clergy are aware. Contact mortuary to make burial (or cremation) and funeral arrangements. Arrange for obituary notice. Contact friends and relatives. Allow others to help you in this time of need. Make arrangements for pets (if applicable). Cancel regular elder assistance services (if applicable). (i.e. Meals on Wheels) Obtain certified copies of the death certificate from the mortuary (consider purchasing between 10 and 20 copies).Within 30 Days: (if applicable) ContactContactContactContactContactSocial Security Administration to stop checks.appropriate agency if receiving health care benefits through a government program.Veterans Administration.payers of pensions (such as former employers or annuities).Department of Motor Vehicles.What Documentation to Locate: WillTrustInsurance policyDeeds of Real EstateIf Living Trust, Notify: Successor Trustee (Trust Manager) for distribution of assets.[Firm Name] [Phone Number]Insurance companies and arrange for any death benefits to be paid to beneficiaries.IRA and Pension companies for any death benefits to be paid to beneficiaries.If NO Living Trust and ONLY a will, Notify: County Clerk and deposit the original will within 30 days. Executor to begin and probate the process with an attorney. [Firm Name] [Phone Number] for review of possible death and/or income owning and assistance in sorting outand distributing assets.Within 60 Days: Notify all creditors and utility companies. Transfer title on jointly head assets. Inventory personal effects and arrange for disposition to family members, friends, or charities.Within 6 Months, If Surviving Spouse: Contact [Firm Name] [Phone Number] for review of finances and revised financial game plan. Update your will or trust.FIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH OF ROCKWALL 11
PERSONAL INFORMATIONTO ASSIST FAMILY IN PLANNINGFull Legal NameAddressPhone/CellPlace of birth (city, county, state)Spouse’s name Widowed DivorcedFather’s name, birthplace, and date of birth/deathMother’s maiden name, birthplace, and date of birth/deathLength of residence in the stateSocial security numberEmployer Type of BusinessEducationLocation of/deed to cemetery plotNumber of death certificates required(The funeral home usually provides three copies; perhaps nine or ten will be necessary and can be obtained through the funeral home.)Persons in my family who remain to celebrate my life(Identify spouse and children by name; number of grandchildren; names of parents, sisters, brothers and significant others; be careful to spell correctly.)Name and telephone number of my attorneyName and telephone number of funeral home to be contactedContact for death benefits:Social SecurityLife InsuranceFinancial AdvisorLocation of Health InformationPrimary PhysiciansRequest for donation of body or parts thereof(e.g., Southwest Transplant Alliance, Southwestern Medical School)12 GUIDE FOR PLANNING A MEMORIAL SERVICE
Location of personal papersWillBirth CertificateSchool and College DiplomasMarriage CertificateOther (i.e., legal papers, safe deposit box and keys)Location of information about all assets Bank AccountsSavingsCheckingCanceled checksBank booksInvestment InformationName and telephone of broker(s)Treasury Bonds / Notes / BillsMoney Market Accounts(s)Stock InformationOtherInformation about homeLocation of Deed/Lease/MortgageInsurance informationWarranty informationInformation regarding other property(ies)Location of information about e recordsWarrantyIncome tax informationLocation of previous and current year’s recordsName and telephone number of accountantFIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH OF ROCKWALL 13
Information regarding a “Living Will”/Directive to Physicians, Health Care Proxy, Power of AttorneyMilitary InformationBranch of Service Service serial numberDate entered Service PlaceDate of Separation PlaceGrade, rank, or ratingWars / conflicts servedAdditional informationChildrenName Address PhonePersons to be NotifiedName Address PhoneOrganizations to be NotifiedName Address Phone14 GUIDE FOR PLANNING A MEMORIAL SERVICE
My Funeral / Memorial ServiceI, , would like to encourage you to design my funeral / memorial serviceas a worship service of hope and celebration. Gather to give thanks to God for the reality of theResurrection.Listed below are my wishes at this time for my service and burial.Name of church or cemetery or columbariumLocated atClergy:Contacts for clergyLodge/Veteran Service byCasket/UrnHymns to be sung by congregationHymns to be played by organistSpecial MusicSoloistScripture SelectionsYou may read all or a portion of these and include others as loved ones request. You may invite others toshare memories during the service or at the graveside/columbarium.Possible PallbearersIn lieu of flowers, make gifts toFIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH OF ROCKWALL 15
Cremation is a matter of personal preference. It is not inconsistent with the Christian faith. . at the graveside or columbarium for a service of farewell, which is to be conducted with simplicity, dignity, and brevity. The service includes readings from scripture, prayers, words of committal, and a blessing, . GUIDE FOR
