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Issues arising from the use of technologyThe internet has become a source of increasing concern for parents and professionals, given theavailability of sexually explicit materials and the presence of online predators.Emerging research suggests that there are negative impacts on sexual development and behavioursin children and young people if they are under 12 years of age when they begin viewing pornography(For example: Skau, Bente, “Who Has Seen What When? Pornography’s Contribution to the SocialConstruction of Sexuality During Childhood and Adolescence” (2007)). It seems that these childrendo not have the emotional or sexual maturity to ‘decode’ pornographic images.There are also concerns around children being groomed online and young people using technologyto record others and then sharing inappropriate images.Young people should be educated and assisted to understand how online sexual content and activityfits in with relationships, romance and sex, and that some restrictions and supervision are necessaryfor their own protection.Professionals who identify children exhibiting problematic and sexually abusive behaviours that maybe driven by exposure to pornography, should: Ensure they have a good understanding of child development principles, including ages andstages Understand cyber-safety strategies and e-safety principles relevant for those ages andstages, and be competent and comfortable in talking with children and young people aboutthese issues Be able to refer a child to other professionals who are skilled in this area, if they are notcomfortable talking about these issues themselves.It is important to respond quickly to sexually problematic or abusive behaviours. Current research(Caldwell, M.F. January 2016: Quantifying the Decline in Juvenile Sexual Recidivism Rates Psychology Public Policy and Law) informs us that very few children and young people will go on tobecome adult sexual offenders. Children and young people respond well to treatment. However, fora very small number of children and young people these emerging patterns may continue intoadulthood.Age Appropriate Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People: 2nd EditionPage 10 of 42

Classifying the sexual behaviours discussed in this bookThis book talks about 3 ranges, or classifications, of sexual behaviour: age appropriate (normative),concerning and very concerning. We have colour coded these to assist understanding:“Green shading”“Orange shading”“Red shading”Age appropriate sexual behavioursBehaviours that fit somewhere in the range between normativeand concerningBehaviours that fit somewhere in the range between concerningand very concerning (abusive)More information for each range is as follows:Age appropriate sexual behavioursSex play and sexual behaviour is normal in children and young people. They: Do not require intervention by carers or professionals. May be accompanied by laughter, spontaneity, curiosity and experimentation.Children are easily diverted from these behaviours.Age appropriate use of technology has little or low risk for sexually abusive behaviours. Thisuse is described here to give a context for higher risk uses described below.Concerning sexual behavioursThe frequency and persistence of these behaviours should be monitored.Seek professional advice if a child or young person exhibits several of these behaviours,and/or the behaviours continue despite clear requests to stop.Risks with technology use include less time with peers, grooming, viewing inappropriatecontent.Very concerning sexual behavioursSeek professional advice, especially if a child or young person is also secretive, anxious ortense - or if coercion, compulsion or threats are involved.Some of these behaviours become criminal offences when a young person reaches the age ofcriminal responsibility (10 years of age in Victoria, Australia). Report criminal offences to thepolice immediately.Technology use risks include: grooming, sexual assault, pornography, exploitation.Age Appropriate Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People: 2nd EditionPage 11 of 42

Breakdown of age and developmental groupsWe have broken down these ranges of sexual behaviours into four (4) age and developmental stagegroupings: 0 – 4 years 5 – 9 years 9 – 12 years 13 – 18 years.This breakdown is based on recognised theories of developmental ages and stages as defined bymany of the child-development theorists (for example: Piaget, Erikson).These groupings should be viewed with caution, allowing for variations. They are only a guidebecause: Individual children and young people within a group will develop at different rates, and They may be exposed to different levels of family, peer and social influences about sexuality.The groups can also be broken down further into ‘sub-stages’, to define important developmentalmilestones within each stage. For example the age group 0 – 4 years covers three developmentalstages: Infant Toddler Pre-schooler.Disability and cognitive impairmentChildren or young people who are intellectually disabled or developmentally delayed experiencenormal physical sexual development. These children and young people are over represented in thepopulation of young people displaying problem or sexually abusive behaviours. Their behaviourshould not be ignored because of the disability or developmental delay, and chronological ratherthan emotional age should be used when making decisions about appropriate behaviour.Intellectual disability makes these children and young people more vulnerable to exploitation. Theirproblematic and sexually abusive behaviour can also have an adverse impact on themselves andother children and young people around them.Cognitive impairment issues, and the growing cohort of children and young people who present withAutism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention DeficitHyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) driven behaviours, present particular issues for those who work inthis field. The impact of these issues can mean that children and young people struggle tounderstand the social rules around sexual practices and relationships. Fixations may also emerge,particularly around online sexually explicit materials, and may develop quickly if not detected andmanaged early.Do not underestimate the appeal of sexually explicit materials to a young person on the autismspectrum, especially when this is paired with masturbation and other sexual stimulation.Age Appropriate Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People: 2nd EditionPage 12 of 42

How to use this book1. Determine if the sexual behaviour is normative, concerning or very concerningRefer to the charts in the section: “Determining if the sexual behaviour is normative or concerning”to determine if a sexual behaviour is normative, concerning or very concerning for a child or youngperson in one of our defined age/development groups.Important:The sexual behaviours described in this book are not an exhaustive list and must not be used as anassessment tool if sexual abuse is suspected. In such cases, contact the relevant governmentreporting body – for example, Department of Health and Human Services Child Protection Service inVictoria. (See list of agencies in “Seek further advice or make a referral” section).2. Determine the context for the behaviourThink about what was happening in the child or young person’s life when the behaviour took place.To make an appropriate evaluation it is important to consider this context. See the section: “Contextof the sexual behaviour” for more information.3. Decide how to respondHow you respond to the child or young person is very important. The section: “How to respond” hasideas on what you might do and say when faced with these behaviours.Have a question?The “Frequently asked questions” section has answers to commonly asked questions. The “Caseexamples” section gives examples of the types of situations faced by people working with childrenand young people who are displaying sexualised behaviours.Want further advice, or need to make a referral?If, after becoming aware of a child or young person’s sexual behaviour and assessing the context,you are concerned that their behaviour is inappropriate, seek further professional advice or refer thechild or young person to a relevant agency.The “Referring a child or young person for further professional help” section explains when to refera child aged 0 – 9 years or a child/young person aged 10 – 18 years, and what happens when areferral is made.The “Seek further advice or make a referral” section has contact details for several agencies inVictoria that: Can provide further advice Will take referrals for assessment of the child or young person Can provide treatment programs for problem sexual behaviour (PSB) and sexually abusivebehaviour (SAB).This section also includes internet sites that can assist you to work with children and young peopleso that they can be “web-savvy” and web safe.Age Appropriate Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People: 2nd EditionPage 13 of 42

Age Appropriate Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People: 2nd EditionPage 14 of 42

Determining if the sexual behaviour is normative or concerningUse the information in this section to determine if the sexual behaviour is age-appropriate,concerning or very concerning, for a child or young person in the 4 age and developmental groups:0 – 4 years: infant, toddler, pre-school (Ref: Gil, 1993 and Cavanagh Johnson 1999)Age appropriate sexual behaviours Touching or rubbing own genitals and showing others owngenitalsTouching or looking at private parts of other children or familiaradults, e.g. when in the bathBeing nude, and playing doctors, nurses or mummies and daddiesUsing slang words/dirty language for bathroom and sexualfunctions e.g. “shit” or talking about “sexing”Playing age appropriate games or videos on electronic devices,under supervision (low risk for sexually abusive behaviours)Concerning sexual behaviours Keeps masturbating after being told to stopForcing another child to engage in sexual playSexualised play with dolls, e.g. “humping” a teddy bearTouching the private parts of an animal or an unfamiliar adultFollowing other children into a toilet or bathroom to look at ortouch their private partsSpending a lot of time using technology and being upset whendevices are removed (risk of inappropriate content and contacts)*Very concerning sexual behaviours Persistently touching or rubbing self to the exclusion of normalchildhood activities; hurting own genitals by rubbing or touchingSimulating sex with other children with or without clothes onOral sexSexual play involving forceful anal or vaginal penetration withobjectsAccessing sexual material online***It is problematic if a parent or carer sets limits on technology use and a young person finds waysround this (e.g. using it at a friend’s house). It is better to explain the risks involved and seek trust,rather than remove a device.**Access is accidental or a child is exposed to it deliberately by an adult. It is inappropriate for achild of this age to be exposed to sexual material on or off-line.Age Appropriate Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People: 2nd EditionPage 15 of 42

5 – 9 years: early school years (Ref: Gil, 1993 and Cavanagh Johnson 1999)Age appropriate sexual behaviours Awareness of privacy about bodiesSelf-touching and masturbationWith peers:o “Show me yours/I’ll show you mine”o Stories/questions/names/swearing re private parts/body functionso Kissing/holding hands; observed behaviour e.g. pinching a bottomo Online social contact: skill based or dress up gamesUsing photos, videos to record their life, andAccidental access to pornography (risk for sexually abusive behaviours)Concerning sexual behaviours Continually rubbing/touching own genitals in publicPersistent nudity and/or exposing private parts in publicContinually wanting to touch other children’s private partsPersistently using dirty wordsWanting to play sex games with much older or younger childrenSending/receiving “dick” pics (exploitation risk)Accessing pornography and playing violent or sexual video games (risks:grooming, lowers inhibitions)Having own social media accounts and spending a lot of time online (risks:grooming, less time with peers, inappropriate posts)Very concerning sexual behaviours Touching or rubbing self persistently in private or public, to the exclusion ofnormal childhood activitiesRubbing their genitals on other peopleForcing other children to play sexual gamesSexual knowledge too great for ageTalking about sex and sexual acts habituallyPosting sexual images or videos onlineAccessing/showing pornography to othersCyber bullying others using intimate images to extort other childrenGrooming other childrenMeeting online ‘friends’ face to face (risk of sexual assault)Age Appropriate Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People: 2nd EditionPage 16 of 42

9 – 12 years: pre-adolescence (Ref: Ryan 2000, and Ryan, Lane and Leversee)Age appropriate sexual behaviours Growing need for privacyMasturbating in privateWith peers:o “Show me yours/I’ll show you mine”o Kissing and flirtingo Talking about genitals or reproductiono Using dirty words or telling dirty jokeso Exhibitionism e.g. occasional flashing or mooningHaving own social media accounts that are monitored by parents/carersUsing photos, videos to record their life (low risk)Playing age appropriate games online (low risk)Access to pornography (low risk)Concerning sexual behaviours Attempting to expose other people’s genitalsPre-occupation with masturbationMutual masturbation with a peer or groupSimulating foreplay or intercourse with peers, with clothes onSexual knowledge too great for their age, when the context is consideredTalking about fear of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infectionPeeping, exposing*, using obscenitiesSeeking out pornographyTaking nude, sexual images of themselvesSecretive about using the internet/social media (risk of being groomed or exploited)Very concerning sexual behaviours Compulsive masturbation, including interrupting tasks to masturbateRepeated/chronic peeping*, exposing, using obscenitiesChronic interest in adult/child pornography*Making others watch pornographyDegrading/humiliating self or others using sexual themesTouching other children’s genitals without permission*Forcing others to expose their genitalsMaking written or verbal sexually explicit threats*Simulating intercourse with peers, unclothedPenetration of dolls, other children or animals*Taking/sharing nude sexual images of othersSharing nude sexual images of themselvesHaving suggestive avatars (online characters) or usernames (risk of grooming)Meeting online ‘friends’ face to face*For children and young people aged 10-18 these behaviours may be criminal offences such asIndecent Assault, Indecent Act or Assault (Common Law), Child Exploitation Material.Age Appropriate Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People: 2nd EditionPage 17 of 42

13 – 18 years: adolescence (Ref: Ryan, Lane and Leversee and LaTrobe University2014 Health Study)Age appropriate sexual behaviours Need for privacyMasturbating in privateWith peers:o Sexually explicit conversations, obscenities or jokes relevant to own cultureo Sexual teasing and flirtingo Kissing, hugging, holding handso Foreplay with mutual consentSexual intercourse plus full range of sexual activity with similar age partnerViewing sexual content for arousal (low risk)Sending/receiving sexual images of others with consent (low risk)*Concerning sexual behaviours Being pre-occupied with/anxious about sexBeing promiscuous (not making informed decisions about sexual relationships/have hadfrequent sexual relationships that they have felt uncomfortable about)Being interested in or using themes or obscenities involving sexual aggressionSpying on others who are nude or engaged in sexual activityEngaging in unsafe sexual behaviourSeeking out pornographyHaving oral sex or intercourse with someone more than 2 years older/youngerSending/receiving sexual images of multiple people with their consent*Very concerning sexual behaviours Compulsive masturbation (especially in public*)Degrading/humiliating self or others using sexual themesChronic preoccupation with sexually aggressive pornography/child pornography*Attempting to expose other people’s genitalsTouching others genitals without permission*Making written/verbal sexually explicit threats*Making obscene phone calls, exhibitionism, voyeurism, or sexually harassing others*Sexual contact with much younger people*Sexual contact with animals*Penetrating another person forcefully*Taking sexual images of others to exploit them* (child pornography, exploitation risk)Having multiple nude images of others (risks as above plus exploitation)*For children and young people aged 10-18 these behaviours may be criminal offences such asIndecent Assault, Indecent Act or Assault (Common Law), Child Exploitation Material.Age Appropriate Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People: 2nd EditionPage 18 of 42

Context of the sexual behaviourThink about these two examples:10 year old John wants to see what a vagina looks like. He has one sisterwho is 8 years old. While they are taking a bath together, he asks her toshow him her vagina and she willingly shows him.Is this behaviour ageand developmentallyappropriate?He looks and then touches between the labia

Age Appropriate Sexual Behaviour in Children and Young People: 2nd Edition Page 5 of 42 Definitions The following definitions are used in this book: Children and young people generally Those aged 0 - 18 years Age of criminal responsibility 10 years and over (in Victoria) Age of consent to sexual acti