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FINDING YOUR WAY BACK TO THE ONE YOU LOVE.EPHESIANS 5: 25-27Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiantchurch, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (NIV)CAST OVERVIEWCraig Sullivan Jeff FaheyKatrina Sullivan Victoria JacksonPastor Wexler Reginald Vel JohnsonMark Bowman David A.R.WhiteClaire Bowman Andrea LoganDonna Harlow Anna ZielinskiJames Harlow Matt FloridaBobby Castle Tommy BlazeMelody Castle Caroline ChoiJoey Brad StinePURPOSE OF THIS GUIDE:This companion guide is to be used after viewingthe “Marriage Retreat” movie. It offers you anopportunity to evaluate the issues faced by eachcouple in the movie through biblically-baseddiscussion questions. We hope these questionsreveal the solution through your relationshipwith God. Start your study with prayer, askingGod to give you eyes to see, ears to hear and anopen heart to understand.FILM OVERVIEWWhen a group of best friends decide to go toa “Marriage Retreat” in the mountains for nodeeper reasons than to relax and have a little fun,they discover the true state of their marriages andhow far apart they have drifted. Once there,Dr. Craig Sullivan (Fahey) and his wife Katrina(Victoria) challenge them to confront theirsin to heal their relationship issues. Throughsome unconventional methods, Craig andKatrina hope that the trials will draw the couplescloser to God. However, the couples continue tostruggle to resolve their issues as they arehopelessly relying on their own strength. Whenit seems like all is lost, true love is revealedand they soon discover it’s not what they aremissing in their relationships but who. Thisheartfelt film will make you laugh, cry andcheer these couples on to finding their wayback to the ONE they love.COPYRIGHT INFORMATIONScriptures taken from the Holy Bible, NewInternational Version , NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.

THEME 1: SELFLESSNESS1 CORINTHIANS 13: 4-5Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is notself-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (NIV)MOVIE SCENES TO REVIEWMark’s Counseling: (Chapter 8, 35:25-38:25)Claire’s Counseling: (Chapter 9, 41:54-43:25)DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:Claire and Mark Bowman are not communicatingwell and both are feeling misunderstood. Foralmost two months, Claire has been giving Markthe silent treatment. Her dream is to have afamily and Mark is not ready. She has just becomepregnant yet has not told her husband. Feelingthat Mark is set in his ways and unwilling to makechanges she doesn’t push the issue. Claire is lookingfor selflessness in her relationship with Mark.Mark can barely get Claire to have a conversationwith him. She is closed off and refuses to openlydiscuss their problems. Mark is aware that Clairewants to have children but he is just not ready tobe a father. Because of his abusive relationship withhis father, Mark is afraid that he may turn out likehim. At the same time, Claire is unaware of Mark’srelationship with his father. Although he wants tobe close to his wife, Mark’s fear of fatherhood keepsthem apart.1. PHILIPPIANS 2: 3-4 says not to do anything outof selfishness, to value others more than yourself andto keep the interest of others in the forefront of yourmind. Is Claire being selfish for wanting to have afamily? Is Mark being selfish for not?2. GALATIANS 6:2 encourages us to carry each other’sburdens. Are Mark and Claire being selfish with eachother by not communicating their issues to one another?3. According to PSALM 27:10, God will take care of useven if our own parents forsake us. How might thishelp Mark get over his fear of being a father? Do youhave past family issues that continue to plague you andyour spouse’s relationship?4. JOHN 15:12 commands us to love each other as Godloved us. What do you think a selfless relationship withGod would look like? What would a selfless relationshipwith your spouse look like? What would it sound like?What would it feel like?SCRIPTURES REFERENCED:JOHN 15:12 My commandment is this: Love each other asI have loved you. (NIV)GALATIANS 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in thisway you will fulfill the law of Christ. (NIV)PHILIPPIANS 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambitionor vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others aboveyourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you tothe interests of the others. (NIV)PSALM 27:10 Though my father and mother forsake me,the LORD will receive me. (NIV)

THEME 1: SELFLESSNESSCALL TO ACTIONTo get to a selfless place with your spouse you have to open your heart to each other.A great place to start is by simply examining how well you know each other.1. How well do we really know each other? Take an online assessment of your relationship. There are manyavailable. A great one to start with is Gary Chapman’s “Love Languages” at www.5lovelanguages.com.2. Review your scores and discuss the results with each other. For additional resources visit Association forMarriage & Family Ministries web site at www.AmfmOnline.com3. Now that you have more insight about one another, make a list below of ways you can address eachother’s needs. Do this together!

THEME 2: SAFETYPSALM 4:8In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety. (NIV)MOVIE SCENES TO REVIEWDonna’s Counseling: (Chapter 9, 40:51-41:53)Prayer: (Chapter 14, 59:00-59:55)Chained: (Chapter 17, 1:10:46-1:12:35)DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:Donna and James Harlow seem to be living twodifferent lives. Donna is getting ready for the birthof their first child and James is pursuing his loveof acting. She feels they are not close in the waythey used to be and fears James is going to leaveher. Donna is relying on her relationship with herhusband to provide safety in her life; however, afterher counseling session with Dr. Sullivan, she soonrealizes her priorities are in the wrong order.James is a very talented actor who lives and breatheshis craft. He participated in Community Theateruntil he got his big break on a daytime drama. Withadoring fans and autograph seekers, James lovedthe attention; however, he didn’t realize that thisnewfound stardom was making Donna feelinsecure. As a result, Donna became very controllingof James, which, in turn, became an issue for him.1. What does Katrina mean when she tells Donna “youare seeking the wrong things to give you peace”? Howcan Philippians 4:6 help Donna find safety andcontentment in her relationship?2. During Donna’s prayer she says “God are you reallythere?” Can you relate to Donna’s experience aboutquestioning the authenticity of God? What do youbelieve about God’s strength and protection? Wheredoes Psalm 9:9-10 say our refuge should ultimatelycome from?3. When Donna finally confesses to James that she feelsthat his career is more important than his family, Jamestells her that he is willing to give up his work as an actor.Is there anything in your life that you believe God iscalling you to give up to save your marriage?4. When Donna figures out the triangle that Dr. Sullivandrew on her palm, she realizes her and James’s prioritiesfor their marriage are out of order. What are the majorpriorities in your marriage? How will Psalm 32:7-8 helpguide you in evaluating your priorities and findingsafety in your marriage?SCRIPTURES REFERENCED:Psalms 9:9-10 The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, astronghold in times of trouble. (NIV)Psalms 32:7-8 You are my hiding place; you will protect mefrom trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (NIV)Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but ineverything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presentyour requests to God. (NIV)

THEME 2: SELFLESSNESSCALL TO ACTIONFinding safety in your relationship with your spouse and God is a daily process.We all need reminders to help keep us on track. Let’s start by creating one below1. Write God at the top point of the triangle.2. Next, write the name of you and your spouse at the two bottom points of the triangle.3. Finally, write the word SAFETY in the middle space of the triangle.Let this be a reminder of how becoming closer to God will bring youcloser as a couple and provide the safety you need.

THEME 3: SECURITYLUKE 12:29-31And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. (NIV)MOVIE SCENES TO REVIEWBobby’s Counseling: (Chapter 8, 33:55-35:24)Melody’s Counseling: (Chapter 9, 39:56-40:50)Chained: (Chapter 17, 1:12:41- 1:14:28)DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:Melody and Bobby Castle are trying to get by thebest way they know how. Melody says Bobby isalways looking for some get-rich-scheme andis gambling as a way to support his family.Unfortunately, he loses most of the time. Melodylives in constant fear that they will lose everything.She is desperately seeking security in her relationship.On the other hand, Bobby says his wife giveshim no respect. He feels she constantly nags him.Bobby was making a great living in the housingmarket when he met Melody. However, soon afterthey married, the housing market crash left Bobbywithout many job prospects. Bobby wants to beable to provide the security that Melody needs.1. How can Psalm 111:5 begin to ease Melody’s fears?Do you have constant fears in your marriage?2. Bobby gambles to make money for the family only tobe left feeling inadequate and disappointed when heloses. Luke 12:24 tells us that God will take care of usjust as He does the birds. How hard is it for you to lookto God as your source and strength? Do you believeGod can and will intervene in your situation?3. Melody and Bobby need guidance. How canPsalm 23:1-3 help them find that security and guidancethat they both seek? Are you looking to God asyour shepherd?4. When Melody gets angry with Bobby for them losingtheir way, she says he can’t do anything right - words shenever would have uttered when they were first married.Melody has let their circumstances change her. Howare your circumstances making you a different person?How is it making your marriage different?SCRIPTURES REFERENCED:Luke 12:24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap;they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And howmuch more valuable you are than birds! (NIV)Psalm 111:5 He provides food for those who fear him; heremembers his covenant forever. (NIV)Psalm 23:1-3 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me besidequiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along theright paths for his name’s sake. (NIV)

THEME 3: SecurityCALL TO ACTIONTake some time at this moment to think about you and your spouse’s financial concerns.If you have some, then here are some steps to help guide you to a solution.1. Write down at least three financial issues that have been burdening you both. For example, retirement,savings, or overspending.2. Create a plan below to address each of these issues. If overspending is a problem, then you can developa budget to keep daily expenses under control.3. Most importantly, if you don’t know how to create a budget or how to handle credit card debt then seekprofessional advice. A great place to start is Crown Financial Ministries. Visit them at www.crown.orgfor financial, spiritual teaching and resources from a Christian, biblical perspective.