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DigitalDigital ParentingParentinginin SouthSouth AfricaAfricaInformation Booklet

?What is digital parenting?Most young people regularly usecommunication devices, and theamount of time that children spendonline is increasing. This raisesimportant questions and concernsabout how children are affected bytheir exposure to the internet.One such important concern is therole played by parents in deciding howtheir children use the internet. Parentsare often the people who providechildren with their first device ordecide at what age a child is allowedto start using the internet. This meansthat, sometimes without even realisingit, parents are the most importantpeople in determining the nature oftheir children’s early experiences ofthe internet and the kinds of activitiesthey engage in online.Digital parenting is the term thatdescribes how parents manage theirchildren’s internet use once they startusing the internet. While many peoplethink that digital parenting is abouthaving technical knowledge andteaching their children how to usetechnology, good digital parenting isoften more about ensuring that therules for good behaviour that manyparents put in place offline, are alsoapplied to life online. Some parentsmay have the knowledge to help theirchildren with technical problems andsome don’t, but all parents have theability to teach their children howto navigate danger and be ethical,responsible citizens.meet new peersHELPSCHILDRENWITHSCHOOLWORKChildren spendingtoo much time online1Digital Parentingin South AfricaCurrently, little is knownabout how the internetis being used by childrenin South Africa, orhow parents interactwith their childrenabout such things,making it difficult todetermine whether thesetechnologies are beingused in the best andsafest ways. The Centrefor Justice and CrimePrevention (CJCP) recentlycompleted two research studieslooking at these issues in order to gainmore information and understandingabout the topic. These two studiesshowed us that parents face manychallenges when trying to managetheir children’s internet use in SouthAfrica. This new information hashelped uncover these problems, andhas made it possible to find solutionsspecific to South African parents’ andchildren’s THAFRICAAFRICAPosting too muchpersonal informationRisks or opportunities?Parents provide for and allow theirchildren use of technology becausethey see how it can benefit them. Atthe same time, parents are also awareof a number of disadvantages andpotential harms which can result fromthis use. Balancing these risks andopportunities is often the best wayto ensure that children can benefitfrom the internet. However, it can bedifficult to know what is dangerousfor children online, and riskysituations can also come withopportunities. In our research weasked some parents what they likeabout the internet for their childrenand what they worry about, and insome cases these were the same things.This shows that a risk is often anopportunity from another perspective,and this highlights how difficult itcan be for parents to make sure thattheir children use the internet in away that does not harm them. For thisreason, it is also important for parentsto remember that risks are differentto actual harm. Children exposed to arisk, like meeting a stranger or seeingviolent videos, are not always harmedby the experience. It is very difficulttomeasure harms, but research fromcountries in the global North whereinternet use is very widespreadsuggests that very few child internetusers are actually harmed by the risksthey are exposed to online.Childrenhave thec chance to

HiGOTCHA!Risks parents worry about whentheir children use the internetOpportunities parents are happythe internet gives their childrenTheir children meeting dangerous strangers.Their children having the chance to meet new people.Children spending too much time online.The internet keeping children busy and occupied.Neglecting their schoolwork because of the internet.The internet helping children with their schoolwork.Posting too much personal information.Helping children share their lives and expressthemselves.What is the goal of digitalparenting?The goal of digital parentingis to make sure that childrenare using the internet in a waythat minimises the harms theyexperience and maximises thebenefits the internet gives tothem.Part of this is to teach children to beskilled and resilient internet usersand good digital citizens. What thismeans is that parents help theirchildren to learn how to navigatethe dangers on the internet, so thatevery time they use the internet, theyhave the knowledge and experiencethey need to avoid experiencingharm. Being a good digital citizen isalso vital because it means childrenwon’t harm other people online.That is, parents have a role to play inteaching children to be empatheticand thoughtful internet users, thekind of people who won’t cyberbullyor say something online that damagestheir reputation permanently.Teaching children to be resilientand empathetic depends on parentscreating the type of relationship withtheir children that allows for opencommunication, where children feelfree to approach their parents for helpif they experience something onlinewhich bothers them or have donesomething that bothers others.How can I parent digitally?Parental mediation refers to ways inwhich parents try to manage theirchildren’s use of technology. Researchhas found that parents parent digitallyin a number of ways, including: Watching and checking whattheir children do online(monitoring);Using technical tools to block,filter or monitor what children doonline (technical mediation);Setting rules that limit theirchildren’s internet use, usuallywithout taking into accountthe children’s wishes (restrictivemediation); andHaving conversations withchildren about their onlineactivities and about online safety(active mediation).Each of these methods has advantagesand disadvantages and some arebetter at making sure children aresafe while others help children accessmore opportunities. For this reason,it is important that a balance is foundbetween monitoring and managingyoung people’s online behaviour,while also allowing them thefreedom to handle their internet useresponsibly. Parents need to be carefulwhen navigating this - allowingtheir children independent onlineexploration, while still providingappropriate parental support.However, many parents do not feelcertain about how best to do this, anda number of factors - such as lack oftime, resources and knowledge – maymake it even more difficult to findthis balance.One specific challenge faced by manyparents is that their children aremore technically knowledgeable andskilled on the internet than they are,making managing children’s onlineactivity especially difficult. Althoughthe solution here might appear tobe increasing the digital skills ofparents (and this would certainlyhelp), this may not always be possible.Instead, online parenting should beapproached in the same way thatoffline parenting should be done –by developing safe, stable, open andnurturing relationships betweenparents and their children, focusingon bringing up confident, responsible,empathetic and resilient youngmembers of society, whether on- oroff-line.Tips for parentsMany parents face daily battlestrying to manage their children’sinternet use and the idea of beinga successful digital parent can seemtotally unachievable. However, thereare many resources available to helpparents with this daunting task,starting with the tips below. Talk to your children!Make digital life part of theeveryday conversations you havewith your children. Encouragethem to speak to you about whatthey do online and do your bestto avoid appearing judgemental.This will make it easier for yourchildren to talk to you if they areharmed in some way online. not harm others.Teach your children to becritical thinkers online, interms of recognising advertising,Realise that you are going tohave to use differentstrategies for each of yourchildren depending on theirage. Younger children maybenefit from you explaininghow to use different tools safely,for example, while older childrenmay already know such things. Aone size fits all approach mayprevent older children fromlearning skills and accessingopportunities, and allow youngerchildren to be exposed to risksthey do not yet know how tonavigate.Learn more about thetechnology being usedby your children– learn with them and allow themto teach you and help youunderstand what they are doingonline.Teach your children that whilethey have the right to use theinternet, to benefit from it andto be safe in doing so, they alsohave the responsibilityto do so in ways that doonline behaviour whilealso allowing them to handletheir online life responsibly.biased or false information andgossip when they see it. Remindyour children that they shouldnot believe everything they see onthe internet and guide themaround what websites they cantrust and what websites theycan’t. Research and use the toolsavailable on different sites,where appropriate, to makeyour child’s internet use safer.Different devices and platformshave settings and tools availablethat allow you to filter out certaincontent, report offensive contentor protect your children’s privacy.Teach your children about thesesettings and tools too andencourage them to use them. Find the balance inmonitoring your children’sEncourage your children totake on this responsibility asmuch as possible (whereappropriate and with thenecessary support), helpingto empower them, encouragingresponsible behaviour. Talk to other parents andfamily members about theirdigital parenting practices. Thechances are that you can get alot of support and guidance fromthe people around you, and thatthere are people around youwho would benefit from supportand guidance from you. Be a good digital role model.If your child sees you makinghurtful comments on a socialnetworking site or using yourdevice during family time, theywill be less inclined to listento your guidance about how theyshould use the internet. Modelgood behaviour so that they knowwhat such behaviour looks like.There is much more advice andguidance available for parents onlinethat gets into the specifics of howto technically monitor and manageyour children’s internet use in a waythat benefits them. We have somesuggestions of where to start on thenext page.