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ReferencesPathwork Lectures: 9, 24, 201, 219, 226, 247Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All; Gerald Jampolsky, M.D.Forgiveness: A Bold Choice for a Peaceful Heart; Robin CasarjianA Course in Miracles: Foundation for Inner Peace – Check InternetThe Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of BuddhistPsychology; Jack Kornfield, Ph.D. Other books by: Jack Kornfield and Fred Luskin Colin Tipping – www.radicalforgiveness.com www.consciousthinking.com – all slides
FORGIVENESS IS: A desire to heal old wounds despite: Injustice Betrayal Injury A choice to: Relinquish resentments Release desire for revenge An intention to: Focus on the present rather than the past Bring closure to hurtful issues A Process
“Forgiveness means giving up allhope for a better past.”Author unknown
FORGIVENESS IS NOT: Condoning, pardoning, forgetting or appeasing Guaranteed to resolve every grievance For the faint hearted For others
FORGIVENESS CHALLENGES When betrayed or harmed we feel threatened Forgiveness requires letting go of victimhood Forgiveness is an acquired skill It is challenging to face self in total honesty It takes repeated practice to open the heart
FORGIVENESS – WHY BOTHER? For health’s sake – PEMS Fearful, vengeful, blaming thoughts are stressful Stress and tension createsEnergy blocks Dis-ease Forgiveness activates biochemical healing response Resolves inner tension relaxes, rebalances the body
SELF-FORGIVENESS You can’t forgive others until you can forgiveyourself Self-judgment creates a vicious circle
NEGATIVITYGUILTGUILTPERFECTIONISMSELFSELF-JUDGMENT
SELF FORGIVENESSecognizes guilty feelingsccepts responsibility for what has been donenvestigates the disharmony Explores motivation behind negativityListens compassionately to inner fearson-identification Affirm fundamental goodnessPray for help with forgiveness process
"I ACCEPT MYSELF THE WAY I AM,I FORGIVE MYSELF WITH ALL MY IMPERFECTIONS,I LOVE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.""I ACCEPT EVERYONE THE WAY THEY AREI FORGIVE EVERYONE WITH ALL THEIR IMPERFECTIONSI LOVE EVERYONE UNCONDITIONALLY."
Ask yourself:“Do I really want to forgive? You will then seethat part of you wants to do it, but another partenjoys not forgiving. If you recognize that, youhave a further clue about the truth of your lowernature – and this is priceless knowledge on thepath of purification.”Pwl 9
FORGIVENESS AND THE LS The lower self deserves the mercy, forgiveness, and love that humanbeings have been praying for, thinking that dispensations given fromthe outside will make up for what they withhold from themselves.Pwl 226 Forgiveness for all sins, for every transgression exists already, becauseGod recognizes in much deeper terms why you are driven as you are,why you must go through your sins in order to recognize them for whatthey are, so that a new incentive spurs you on to the great journey you,here on this path, are now undertaking.Pwl 258 p. 7
FORGIVING OTHERS Acknowledge there is something in you that causedthe hurtful situation. Wholeheartedly ask God to help find the cause inyou. Pray for the person who offended you. Ask God to help you have sufficient visionto forgive.
FORGIVING OTHERS Beneath other person’s negativity and judgment issomeone struggling for: Love Acknowledgement Attention Try understanding their journey with its: Distortions Misconceptions
FORGIVING OTHERS Recite: There are many ways I have been harmed by others,abused or abandoned, knowingly or unknowingly in thought, wordor deed. Say to yourself: I now remember the many ways others have hurtor harmed or wounded me out of fear, pain, confusion and anger. Ihave carried this pain in my heart too long. To those who havecaused me harm, I offer my forgiveness, I forgive you.
THE POWER OFFORGIVENESS
SELF-FORGIVENESS PRACTICE Recite: There are many ways I have hurt and harmed myself. Ihave betrayed, abandoned and judged myself many timesthrough thought, word or deed, knowingly and unknowingly. Repeat to yourself: For the ways I have hurt myself throughaction or inaction, out of fear, pain and confusion, I nowextend a full and heartfelt forgiveness.“I forgive myself, I forgive myself.”Jack Kornfield, “A Wise Heart”
EXERCISETransforming GrievancesAdopted from Colin Tipping’s “The Radical Forgiveness Worksheet” Describe situation Express feeling about situation Accept feelings; do not judge them Realize your feelings reflect a limited view Acknowledge no one can make you feel anything State “payback” price
Transforming GrievancesAdopted from Colin Tipping’s “The Radical Forgiveness Worksheet” Core negative beliefs which dramatized the situation/story I am not enoughI am not safePeople always abandon meLife’s not fairI am unworthyI am unlovableOther
JUDGEMENT, SPITE ETC. AREDISTORTIONS OF A DIVINE EXPRESSIONDISTORTIONDIVINE EXPRESSIONJudging self or othersSpiteful, stubborn, rigidRebellious, non-conformingCompetitive, egotisticalCapacity to distinguish, discriminateCentered, secure, assertiveCourageous, independentDesire to excelPWL 219
Adopted from Colin Tipping’s “The Radical Forgiveness Worksheet” Describe situation Express feeling about situation Accept feeling& do not judge them Realize your feeling reflect a limited view Acknowledge
