Transcription
AnIntroductionto:The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary ChapmanThe Five Languages of Apology by Dr. Gary Chapman & Dr. Jennifer Thomas
We All Seek Happy andFulfilling RelationshipsMYSELFMATEWhere we Give & Receive Love,BUT
we often misseach other’s heart in the process MYSELFMATE and end up frustratedand unfulfilled in our relationship.
How many times do wehear about people notfeeling loved by theirpartner, much to thepartner’s surprise andfrustration?According to Dr. Chapman, it is often thecase that love is there and beingexpressed, but not in the “language” thatthe loved one understands and wishes toreceive.
Through his many yearsof counseling couples, Dr.Chapman concluded thatpeople like to give andreceive love differently.And that it’s in those differences oflove expressions and expectationsthat couples often experiencedifficulties. That’s when he came upwith his remarkable discovery thathas helped couples all over the world.
Introducing the The Five Love Languages Words of Affirmation Quality Time Receiving Gifts Acts of Service Physical TouchBook also available in Japanese
Five Love Languages Words of Affirmation:An unsolicited compliment, a kind word,and words of encouragement are verypowerful. Mark Twain once said “I can livefor two months on a good compliment.”Also, if a loved one listens for “Words ofAffirmation,” offering encouragement willhelp him or her to overcome insecuritiesand develop greater confidence.
Five Love Languages Quality Time:This means togetherness and personalconnection, not just being physically nearby.Having a quality conversation, really listeningto each other. Taking time to have funtogether. Doing things you each enjoy;exploring new activities together.
Five Love Languages Receiving Gifts:The message here is that the gift giver wasthinking of you and wanted to let you know.Expense is not the main thing – it’s themeaning behind the gift. A favorite treatpicked up on the way home or a card for noreason sends a priceless message.
Five Love Languages Acts of Service:Doing something that is helpful to yourloved one will be noticed, if it is theirlanguage of love.Cooking, washing the car, doing or helpingwith the laundry, dishes or fix-it projectscan be acts of love. Challenge thestereotypes of who can or should do what.
Five Love Languages Physical Touch:A hug, a kiss, holding hands, and sexualintercourse are all ways of communicatinglove.Research indicates that positive physicalcontact is important to emotional health;some say you need four hugs a day.
Five Love Languages Do you know your and your partner’sprimary love language?Do you know your children’s primarylove language?.You can discover your Love Languageby taking the questionnaire:
Five Love Languages - Stephens FamilyWords ofAffirmationQualityTimeReceivingGiftsActs 4106100
The FiveLanguagesof Apology
How To Experience Healing In All YourRelationshipsAuthorsDr. Gary ChapmanWorld famous author andChristian counselor.Founder of The Five LoveLanguages and many others.AlsoavailableinJapaneseDr. Jennifer ThomasClinical Psychologist and author.They spent over 2 years doingthe research and interviewing1000’s of people on what theythought was a genuine apology.
Why Apologize?“I said I was sorry.” “I apologized.”“No you didn’t. You never said/did ”It didn’t work or didn’t seem sincere.Desire/Goal not achieved:No Forgiveness and reconciliation No Restoration of the relationship.Epidemic of Broken Relationships:High divorce rate. Parentingbreakdown. Alienation, resentment,anger, frustration, hopelessness.
Each person has a“Primary ApologyLanguage”Often you will alsohave a “SecondaryApology Language”
I’m SorryExpressing Regret.I want to know if you understand howdeeply your behavior has hurt me.You need to say you are sorry andwhat specifically you are sorry for.You need to show remorse, not justsorry you got caught.
I Was WrongAccepting Responsibility.I want you to accept responsibilityfor what you did or said andacknowledge that it was wrong.Name your mistake and acceptfault.
Please ForgiveMeRequesting forgiveness.Those are the words I want to hear.Requesting forgiveness is the way totouch my heart.It's what feels sincere to me. Bepatient with me, I may need sometime or greater clarification.
I’ll Try Not To DoIt AgainGenuinely RepentingI want to hear your desire and plan tochange your behavior, otherwise youhave not truly apologized. Nothing elseseems sincere.Repentance literally means turningaround 180 degrees. Don’t make excuses.
What Can I Do ToMake It Right?Making Restitution.I want to know “do you still love me?”Your behavior was so unloving that Iwonder how you could love me and dothat. What debt do you owe? Whatamends must be made? Are you going tohelp me get over this?
Justice vs. RestorationExample 1: An Employee steals from acompany. He gets caught, tried, foundguilty, fined and imprisoned.Justice has been served, but no restoration of his job.Example 2: An Employee steals butrealizes his mistake, takes responsibility,reports it, apologizes, expresses regret,repays full value, and pleads for mercy.Restoration of job and relationship ispossible.
Restoration of truelove is the deepestdesire in all ourhearts and the heartof GodTherefore, learning the skillof sincere apologizing isvital for the restoration ofthe world.
Apologizing ToYourself.We make mistakes and moral failurescausing inner turmoil.Need to apologize to ourselves.Then we need to forgive ourselves, sowe can feel love and peace.If necessary, use a mirror and writtenout apology.
Apologizing ToGOD.(Not in the book.)What is God’s Apology Language?How do you personally have to repentand apologize to God in order to feelsincere and that God forgives you?Until you feel God’s forgiveness youwon’t be able to feel God’s Love.
Summary:I’m sorry.I was wrong.Please forgive me.I’ll try not to do it again.What can I do to make itright?
I believe that we are inthe age for healing minds,hearts, and bodies.GOD is sending us the tools weneed to accomplish it and bringabout peace on earth togetherwith Him.Thank You
Dr. Gary Chapman. Dr. Jennifer Thomas. Clinical Psychologist and author. How To Experience Healing In All Your Relationships. They spent over 2 years doing the research and interviewing 1000’s of people on what they t
