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SDS PODCASTEPISODE 112HOW TO WINFRIENDS &INFLUENCE PEOPLEShow Notes: http://www.superdatascience.com/1121
Kirill:This is Five Minute Friday episode number 112, How to WinFriends & Influence People.Welcome back everybody to the SuperDataScience podcastand today we are going to continue on from the conversationI had with Eric Weber in the previous podcast, where wetalked about soft skills in data science. If you listened to thatepisode, then you’ll remember that at the end, I recommendeda book called How to Win Friends & Influence People by DaleCarnegie. I’m reading this book myself right now and I’m stillvery early into it. I’m actually listening to it as an audiobook,I find listening to audio books helps rest your eyes, so I likethat approach a bit more than reading a book directly. Butnevertheless, I’m still about halfway, just past halfwaythrough chapter two out of eight, and I’ve already learned tworeally interesting things and I wanted to share them with youtoday.I learned two principles that will help you or anybody whoapplies them to better relate and become more personablewith other people. They’re not like tricks or anything, they’renot hacks. They’re just very genuine things that we normallytend to forget in our normal lives.The first principle is Don’t Criticize People. A lot of the timewe tell people what they’re doing wrong and then we criticizethem for things and it’s become like a habit in our lives.Myself, I do that quite a lot, or I have been doing that quite alot and hopefully now I’m going to slowly edge that out. In hisbook, Dale Carnegie gives some very interesting examples.Like an example of when a person could have really criticizedShow Notes: http://www.superdatascience.com/1122
someone but they didn’t, was when an engineer filled up aplane of a pilot with the wrong type of fuel and the pilot nearlycrashed, and then all he did was he came up to the engineerand said, It’s all good, I know you won’t make this mistakeagain and I look forward for you to service my plane tomorrow.In that case, he nearly died, and he didn’t criticize theengineer, but you bet from that the engineer definitely learnedhis mistake and he would never make it again. So, a veryinteresting example, puts it really into perspective.The other principle is To Give Honest and SincereAppreciation to People when they’ve accomplished something,or they’ve helped you with something, or you can see thatthere is something to appreciate them for. He draws a cleardistinction here that honest and sincere appreciation is notthe same as flattery. The definition of flattery is telling aperson what they want to hear, and anybody can pick up onflattery. People can sense it, people have this bullshit metre,so they will know if you’re trying to just flatter them becauseyou have your own gains that you’re after. But if you givehonest and sincere appreciation, people will see that you cansee the effort they’re putting in, you can see the great workthat they’re doing. It will help them grow. At the end of theday, these principles are not just for you to get you want, it’sto actually build a relationship with people and help themgrow, help them develop and help them see from anotherperson’s perspective what they’re doing right in the case ofprinciple two and how they’ve helped you or other people.A quote that I like that he gives as an example of that. What Ilike about the book is that he gives quite a lot of interestingstories of other people that he’s worked with. He’s put inShow Notes: http://www.superdatascience.com/1123
decades of research into this book and his own practice alsowent into this book, and his education that he’s been givingto universities also went into this book. So, he’s got lots ofexamples and quotes from people. One example that he givesis of Charles Schwab who was a very talented executive whotook over, I think, it was a steel manufacturing plant. And hewas one of the first people in the US at the time to be paidover a million dollars in an executive position, and this waslike first half of the 20th century, so a million dollars then wasa lot of money. The quote form Charles Schwab goes like this:“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my peoplethe greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the bestthat is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.There is nothing else that so kills the ambition of a person ascriticism from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe ingiving a person incentive to work, so I am anxious to praisebut loath to find fault. If I like anything, I’m hearty in myappreciation and lavish in my praise.”Very, very, interesting quote and talks exactly about those twoprinciples, about not criticizing people and givingappreciation to people where it is warranted.For me it’s been a revelation. I, and I am guessing a lot ofpeople in this day and age I’ve been doing the exactopposite. Like most of the time I forget to give appreciation topeople or appreciate the effort people put in. Or like even let’ssay, somebody makes you a great coffee, why not tell themthat this coffee looks amazing. A lot of the time we take thingsfor granted but then on the other hand when somebodyscrews up something, we don’t hesitate to criticize them for it.Show Notes: http://www.superdatascience.com/1124
So, very, very, interesting perspective. For me this has been,already in chapter two, it’s been a big learning and I’ve alreadystarted applying those in life and watching myself, how Icommunicate with other people.This is my call to you as an encouragement over this comingweekend, just try to recognize when you criticize someone, ifit’s really necessary or what would have happened if youdidn’t. Or if you can, hold yourself back, try not to and seewhat happens. And on the other hand, when somebody doessomething even small for you like making a coffee or openingthe door for you, or anything, holding the elevator, see whathappens if you give honest and sincere appreciation.Especially in bigger things, especially at work or at home, withfriends and family, see what happens if you do give peoplehonest and sincere appreciation but bear in mind thedifference with flattery. Don’t just try going out there andflattering people. No. Just when it is warranted, don’t missthe opportunity or don’t ignore the opportunity to give peoplethat honest and sincere appreciation.Finally, if you don’t have a book to read, then pick up thisbook, How to Win Friends & Influence People by DaleCarnegie and read along with me. Thanks a lot for your timetoday, I look forward to seeing you here again next time, anduntil then, happy analysing.Show Notes: http://www.superdatascience.com/1125
flattering people. No. Just when it is warranted, don’t miss the opportunity or don’t ignore the opportunity to give people that honest and sincere appreciation. Finally, if you don’t have a book to read, then pick up this book, How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie and
