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An Nawawi Forty HadithHadith 31 - How to win people's love?Thursday, October 03 2013Lecture by Sister Eman al Obaidwww.alhudasisters.wordpress.comRe-capA man came and asked about love – he wanted Allah subhana wa ta'ala to love him and thepeople to love him. You need zuhd for Allah subhana wa ta'ala to love you and the people tolove you.How will Allah subhana wa ta'ala love you?You need to have zuhd in the dunya– not to feel happy when you have the dunya,– the dunya is in your hands– avoiding the haram– satisfied with what Allah subhana wa ta'ala gave you– anything not benefitting you, you leave itEveryone else is better than you– To remove the pride and arrogance from your heart– To remove the stress of always trying to be better than others.This hadith is evidence of one of the actions of Allah subhana wa ta'ala, that Allah subhanawa ta'ala loves. This will motivate you to attain Allah subhana wa ta'ala’s love – so make your1
An Nawawi Forty Hadithgoal high ‘I want Allah subhana wa ta'ala to love me’. Also ‘I am striving because I wantAllah subhana wa ta'ala to love me’.The dunya is very littleDon’t see the dunya as something high. Fid dunya is an action of the heart for which you willbe rewarded. Al-HamduliLlah Islam is Allah subhana wa ta'ala’s religion and if your feelingsare directed in the right direction you will be rewarded.ShaytanOur feelings go up and down. For example happiness, sadness, excitement, laughing, cryingetc. can be directed in the right way or the wrong way. Sometimes you are feeling so happybut this happiness can destroy all your other feelings and make you heedless – make you toforget. Shaytan will attack you at your weakest moments – when you are extremely happyand when you are extremely sad. When you are very happy shaytan attacks you because youbecome heedless.For the Sake of AllahWe should be happy and sad for the Sake of Allah. You will be rewarded for your feelings. AzZuhd is to leave anything which will not benefit you in the akhirah. Anything which occupiesyou from the akhirah, it is better to leave it and to not think about it.This does not mean abandoning your children etc. but don’t let anything overtake your heart,don’t keep thinking about it, stressing all the time etc.The sign of the zahid:Does not feel happy with the blessingHappy with The Provider, The BestowerDoes not feel sad when something has missed himHappy with Allah subhana wa ta'ala when something came to himYour goal is very high, this is the dunya but you want Allah subhana wa ta'ala’s love. There isno comparison between the dunya and Allah subhana wa ta'ala’s love. Don’t let the dunyaoccupy your heart.Surah hadeed tells us about the value of the dunya.Chapter (57) sūrat l-ḥadīd (The Iron)Why did Allah subhana wa ta'ala tell you the value of the dunya?In order that you will not be sad over a matter or desire that missed you. Being sad creates anunnecessary atmosphere or feelings. Your test is not in feeling sad when something missedyou. The dunya is small. Don’t rejoice in what Allah subhana wa ta'ala gave you. This is zuhd.2
An Nawawi Forty HadithThe dunya includes the material things and the people. Don’t let the dunya be in your heart –this causes people to fight and blame each other, to react.Mukhtar & FakharThis is the title of one who is proud and boastful – always showing off. This shows the dunyais in their heart.The BalanceTo be on the siratt you need to be balanced. Your emotions should be balanced.Don’t feel sad when something missed you,Don’t feel proud when you have something.The sign of the zahid is when anyone praises or dispraises him it is the same. You only wantfrom Allah subhana wa ta'ala.The love of Allah subhana wa ta'ala is not easy, Allah subhana wa ta'ala wants your heart forHim. You are in this life but your heart is always feeling that you want the akhirah. Don’t reactto what you have or do not have in the dunya. The praise of people will not take youanywhere.At the end of the day we will all die and be resurrected infrontof Allah subhana wa ta'ala.The following ayah is about those whose heart is attached to the dunyaChapter (13) sūrat l-raʿd (The Thunder)In Allah subhana wa ta'ala’s Hands is to give and take according to His wisdom. Not to beattached to the dunya is to know everything is a provision from Allah subhana wa ta'ala, eventhe praise from other people. Ar Razzak will provide according to His knowledge. If you needmotivation Allah subhana wa ta'ala will bring to you the praise when the praise will be goodfor you.Sometimes people feel so excited with the dunya.What makes you happy?Are you happy when you have a dunya matter or an akhirah matter?Your happiness should be when you learn one ayah, when you understand one matter etc.Is the dunya worth it?Everything in the dunya is nothing when compared to the akhirah. The dunya is less than amosquitoes wing. But people fight and argue over the dunya. Use what Allah subhana wata'ala gave you and move on. Take what Allah subhana wa ta'ala gave you and move on.3
An Nawawi Forty HadithSometimes one thing spoils your day – why are you not happy? Think of all the good things inyour life. Sometimes the people who make you sad are fine in their life. You have or don’thave it is the same. But the akhirah you feel it, you need to strive for the akhirah.Chapter (10) sūrat yūnus (Jonah)This about the people who do not want to meet Allah subhana wa ta'ala, they have no hope inmeeting Allah subhana wa ta'ala. Everybody will return to Allah subhana wa ta'ala whetheryou desire it or don’t desire it (see surat al furqan).Why don’t people want to meet Allah subhana wa ta'ala?This is not about not wanting to die, we all fear death. Those who don’t want to meet Allahsubhana wa ta'ala think there is something better than meeting Allah subhana wa ta'ala. Alsothey are chained to the dunya – they are pleased with what they have, they are not lookingforward to the akhirah.We should not look at what people have in the dunya, but hope for the nice house, garden,comfort etc. in the akhirah. Not thinking of the akhirah makes you heedless – they don’t seeAllah subhana wa ta'ala’s ayat. The dunya is one of the biggest chains to prevent you fromelevating yourself. Some people memorise the Qur’an for competition – the dunya is in theireyes as you are thinking of your position or place in the dunya.To have zuhd fid dunya is to know the dunya is very little and to know there is a higher goal. Ifthe dunya is in your heart you will not gain anything, you only gain stress. You will only getwhat Allah subhana wa ta'ala decrees for you. Allah subhana wa ta'ala loves those whoremove the dunya from their hearts.Allah subhana wa ta'ala himself created the dunya and told us it is very low – so what aboutus? Allah subhana wa ta'ala warned us about the dunya. Different verses in the Quran referto the dunya as very low. The Qur’an is guiding us.nd2partand renounce what thepeople possess and thepeople will love you.4
An Nawawi Forty HadithIf you want the people to love you, you need az zuhd of what the people possess.We desire the love of other people – this desire is built in, it is within our nature. We can’t saywe don’t want the love of others because love causes us too much trouble. Wanting people tolove you is not a bad thing.For the people to love you, you need:To be kindTo giveTo be goodTo smileOnly Allah subhana wa ta'ala knows about the people.How to make the people to love you?Don’t look at what Allah subhana wa ta'ala gave othersThis is what will make the people to love you, when you have this in the heart. The love ofpeople is a connection in the heart – so what will make the people to love? People will loveyou when you give something from your heart – an action of the heart, don’t look at whatothers have.Maybe others have something you don’t have, or they have more / better than what you haveor maybe you both have the same but you want to look as if you have more. This is whenyour heart is attached to what someone else has or you are concerned with what others have– just a feeling, not hasad or a sin. Just this feeling can create a separation between you andother people.You may feel that a poor person wants something from you, but when a person doesn’t insistyou are more inclined to give to them. Don’t attach to what people have, remove it from yourheart as whatever people have is good for them. People will see you are dealing with them forthe Sake of Allah and not for what they have or that you want something from them.Chapter (20) sūrat ṭā hāWhen you go to someone’s house don’t look, don’t look at what is this brand, what is thisfabric, is this real or fake etc. – don’t stretch your eyes i.e. having a desire for it, going beyondthe boundaries. You don’t need to wonder / desire / enquire about what others have as whatthey have is a test for them. When someone has a blessing this is their test – so you need toask Allah subhana wa ta'ala to make it easy for them. This is how the people will love you.You need to make shukr, make du’a for them and feel good about what Allah subhana wata'ala gave you.5
An Nawawi Forty HadithDunya has no value so why do you need the dunya in your heart or to look at what peoplehave of the dunya – when you do look, people don’t like it. A feeling can attract the people toyou or push people away from you. You need to be satisfied with what Allah subhana wata'ala gave you.The dunya can weaken the heartWhen you remove the dunya from the heart this will give you the strengthWhen you have the strength Allah subhana wa ta'ala will love you and the people will loveyou because you are strong. Allah subhana wa ta'ala loves the strong believer. Allah subhanawa ta'ala wants you to remove the dunya from your heart so that you will be strong and Allahsubhana wa ta'ala will love you. People love a strong person, a person who doesn’t look atwhat others have and is always desiring what others have. If people have it is good for them –so you do not have a desire for what they have. Make du’a for them and be satisfied withwhat you have.AlhamduliLlah Rabb Alameen.This is a transcript of a lecture given by Sister Eman al Obaid. Anything that is good from these notes is from Allah subhanawa ta’ala. Any mistakes & misrepresentations are my own. 21:90 We answered him – We gave him John, and cured his wifeof barrenness – they were always keen to do good deeds. They called upon Us out of longing and awe, and humbledthemselves before Us.6
for you. Sometimes people feel so excited with the dunya. What makes you happy? Are you happy when you have a dunya matter or an akhirah matter? Your happiness should be when you learn one ayah, when you understand one matter etc. Is the dunya worth it? Everything in the dunya is nothi
