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4/15/22SELF-ESTEEM AND MESELF-ESTEEM IS “A CONFIDENCE AND SATISFACTION IN ONESELF.” SELF ESTEEM RELATES TO YOUROPINION OF YOURSELF AND YOUR WORTH, WHICH IS OFTEN BASED ON YOUR SUCCESSES,ACCOMPLISHMENTS, OR LACK THEREOF, YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS, THEIR OPINIONSOF YOU, AND YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF BEING A GOOD OR BAD PERSON. BECAUSE SELFESTEEM IS A SUBJECTIVE VALUE THAT WE ASSIGN TO OURSELVES, IT IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TOOBJECTIVELY DEFINE SELF-ESTEEM. THAT BEING SAID, PEOPLE WITH HIGH SELF ESTEEM TEND TOHAVE A HIGH OPINION OF THEMSELVES AND THEIR WORTH (OR A HIGH OVERALL RATING OFTHEMSELVES) AND PEOPLE WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM TEND TO HAVE A LOW OPINION OFTHEMSELVES AND THEIR SELF WORTH (OR A LOW OVERALL RATING OF THEMSELVES).1

4/15/22SO, WHERE DOES SELF-ESTEEM COME FROM?OUR SELF-ESTEEM DEVELOPS THROUGHOUT OUR LIVES BASED ON OUR EXPERIENCES ANDCONNECTIONS WITH PEOPLE. SELF-ESTEEM IS IN LARGE PART FORMED THROUGHOUTCHILDHOOD, AS WE BEGIN TO FORM OUR OWN IDENTITIES.CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES THAT MAY FORM HEALTHYSELF ESTEEM ARE: BEING LISTENED TO AND FEELING VALIDATED BEING SPOKEN TO RESPECTFULLY AND ALL AROUND BEING RESPECTED RECEIVING ATTENTION, AFFECTION, AND AFFIRMATION HAVING SUCCESSES AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS RECOGNIZED HAVING FAILURES ACKNOWLEDGED AND ACCEPTED2

4/15/22CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES THAT MAY FORM LOWSELF-ESTEEM ARE: RECEIVING HARSH CRITICISM BEING PHYSICALLY, SEXUALLY, OR EMOTIONALLY ABUSED BEING IGNORED, RIDICULED, OR TEASED HAVING EXPECTATIONS OF BEING PERFECT BEING TOLD THAT FAILURES IN LIFE ARE A REFLECTION OF PERSONAL FAILURE (E.G. FAILING ATEST, NOT MAKING IT ON A SPORTS TEAM, ETC.)WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF LOW SELFESTEEM?SO IT SHOULD COME AS NO SURPRISE THAT LOW SELF-ESTEEM CAN HAVE DEVASTATINGCONSEQUENCES ON A PERSON’S LIFE.APPROXIMATELY 85% OF ADULTS REPORT HAVING LOW SELF-ESTEEM.THE OPINIONS THAT YOU HAVE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR WORTH AS A PERSON REFLECT THEWAY THAT YOU NAVIGATE LIFE, THE WAY THAT YOU INTERACT WITH PEOPLE, AND THE WAYTHAT YOU PERCEIVE YOURSELF AND YOUR SUCCESSES AND FAILURES.LOW SELF-ESTEEM CAN BE A PARTICULAR CHALLENGE FOR PEOPLE WHO STRUGGLE WITHSUBSTANCE ABUSE. SUBSTANCES MAY TEMPORARILY MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF,HOWEVER, ABUSING SUBSTANCES CAN ALSO LOWER SELF ESTEEM IT MIGHT MAKE YOU FEELBAD FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO STOP USING SUBSTANCES, OR KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE APROBLEM AND FEELING LIKE A FAILURE BECAUSE OF IT.3

4/15/22SOME OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF LOW SELF ESTEEMINCLUDE: STRESS, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, LONELINESS, WORRY DETERIORATION OF FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS IMPAIRED ACADEMIC OR WORK PERFORMANCE INCREASED VULNERABILITY TO ALCOHOL AND SUBSTANCE ABUSESELF-ESTEEM AND SUBSTANCE USETHE CONNECTION BETWEEN SELF-ESTEEM AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE HAS LONG BEEN ESTABLISHED. INTHE 1970S, PEOPLE WHO ABUSED SUBSTANCES WERE FOUND TO HAVE LOW LEVELS OF SELFESTEEM, ESPECIALLY AMONG WOMEN. ACCORDING TO THE NATIONAL ALLIANCE ON MENTALHEALTH, HAVING LOW SELF ESTEEM DURING CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENCE CAN INCREASE YOURRISK OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE LATER IN LIFE.THE REASON THAT SELF ESTEEM AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE ARE SO INTIMATELY LINKED IS THAT YOURSENSE OF SELF AND SELF-WORTH IS GREATLY IMPACTED BY, AND CAN GREATLY IMPACT SUBSTANCEABUSE. FOR EXAMPLE, PEOPLE WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM MAY TURN TO ALCOHOL AND SUBSTANCESFOR A TEMPORARY CONFIDENCE BOOST AND TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES. THIS IS SHORTLIVED, HOWEVER, AND WHEN THE SUBSTANCE WEARS OFF, THE PERSON TYPICALLY FINDS THAT THEIRSELF-ESTEEM HAS PLUMMETED EVEN FURTHER. CONVERSELY, THE PRESENCE OF A SUBSTANCE ABUSEDISORDER MAY CREATE LOW SELF ESTEEM BECAUSE OF THE DISORDER. BECOMING DEPENDENT ONSUBSTANCES AND STUCK IN A CYCLE OF ABUSE IS NOT SOMETHING THAT ANYONE CHOOSES FORTHEMSELVES AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE CAN CONTAIN FEELINGS OF FAILURE AND GUILT.4

4/15/22SELF-ESTEEM AND RECOVERYHOW DOES LOW SELF-ESTEEM IMPACT RECOVERY?STRUGGLING WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM CAN HINDER THE RECOVERY PROCESS BECAUSE THAT MINDSET CAN DECEIVE USINTO THINKING THAT WE ARE WORTHLESS AND THAT WE ARE FAILURES. IT CAN MAKE IT DIFFICULT TO FIND THEMOTIVATION TO CHANGE OUR BEHAVIORS WHEN WE BELIEVE THAT WE AREN’T EVEN WORTH RECOVERY. LOW SELFESTEEM CAN ALSO INCREASE THE RISK OF RELAPSE. TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN RECOVERY, IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW THATYOU CAN SUCCEED, AND LOW-SELF ESTEEM CAN BE A BARRIER TO THIS. SETBACKS, SUCH AS A RELAPSE, DURINGRECOVERY, CAN IMPACT SOMEONE WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM MUCH MORE THAN SOMEONE WITH HIGH SELF ESTEEM.HOW CAN HIGH SELF-ESTEEM HELP WITH RECOVERY?THE HIGHER YOUR SELF ESTEEM, THE MORE LIKELY YOU ARE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF LIVING A LIFE FREEOF SUBSTANCE ABUSE. SINCE LOW SELF ESTEEM CAN BE BOTH A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR TO AND A RESULT OFSUBSTANCE ABUSE, TRYING TO IMPROVE SELF ESTEEM WILL INEVITABLY HELP IN THE JOURNEY TO RECOVERY. BECAUSESELF ESTEEM AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE ARE BOTH DEEPLY CONNECTED TO YOUR INNER SELF AND IDENTITY, WORKING ONYOUR SELF-ESTEEM CAN HELP IN ALL AREAS OF YOUR LIFE. FEELING VALIDATED, UNDERSTOOD, AND WORTHY, IS A HUGEFIRST STEP TOWARDS FEELING CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO STOP ABUSING SUBSTANCES AND TO ENGAGE IN A LIFE OFSOBRIETY.HOW CAN YOU BUILD SELF-ESTEEM IN RECOVERY?THERE ARE MANY WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP TO INCREASE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM DURINGRECOVERY. THESE PRACTICES CAN RANGE FROM MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL EXERCISES TOPHYSICAL EXERCISES. THESE ARE SOME HELPFUL WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR SELF ESTEEM5

4/15/22 AFFIRMATIONS: WRITE DOWN AND TELL YOURSELF POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF. WHILE YOU MIGHT NOT BELIEVE THEM,REPEATING THEM OVER TIME WILL START TO CONVINCE YOUR MIND THAT THEY ARE TRUE. FOR EXAMPLE, WRITING DOWNSOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS “I AM PROUD OF MYSELF” AND EVEN LISTING REASONS WHY CAN HELP TO COUNTERACT NEGATIVE SELFTALK. SELF-FORGIVENESS: DWELLING TOO MUCH ON THE PAST AND PAST FAILURES CAN LOWER YOUR SELF-ESTEEM. TO LET GO OF THESELF-BLAME, ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MISTAKES, IDENTIFY HOW YOU CAN CHANGE IN THE FUTURE, AND FORGIVE YOURSELF. ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS: PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM OFTEN HAVE A HARD TIME ACCEPTING AND BELIEVING COMPLIMENTSFROM OTHER PEOPLE. MAKE AN EFFORT TO HEAR THE KIND WORDS OTHERS SAY ABOUT YOU AND ACCEPT THEM AS TRUE. PRACTICE KINDNESS: HELPING OTHER PEOPLE OUT AND PARTAKING IN RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS MAKES US FEEL GOOD ABOUTOURSELVES. ONE WAY TO INCREASE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS TO BE KIND TO OTHERS. GRATITUDE JOURNAL: USING A GRATITUDE JOURNAL CAN HELP TO REPLACE NEGATIVE THINKING PATTERNS WITH POSITIVE ONES.FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE CAN HELP YOU TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR LIFE. GOAL SETTING: SETTING GOALS THAT YOU CAN WORK TOWARDS GIVES YOU PURPOSE CREATING GOALS, EVEN IF THEY ARE SMALL,CAN HELP YOU TO FEEL ACCOMPLISHED AND SUCCESSFUL. SELF-CARE: TAKING CARE OF YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. EXERCISE, YOGA,MEDITATION, SLEEP, PAINTING, READING, BAKING, COOKING, OR OTHER CREATIVE ACTIVITIES CAN HELP YOU TO FEEL ACCOMPLISHEDAND MOTIVATED. DON’T COMPARE: COMPARING OURSELVES TO OTHERS IS HARMFUL TO OUR SELF-ESTEEM. WITH SOCIAL MEDIA, SO IT CAN BE EASYTO GET CAUGHT UP IN A CYCLE OF COMPARING OURSELVES TO OTHERS ON THE INTERNET AND THINKING THAT WE AREN’T ASGOOD AS OTHERSWHAT ARE THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM?THE UNDERLYING NOTION OF THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM IS THAT SELF ESTEEM TAKESPRACTICE. TO DO THIS THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM THAT CAN HELP YOU TO FEEL GOODABOUT YOURSELF6

4/15/22 THE PRACTICE OF LIVING CONSCIOUSLY: THIS HAS TO DO WITH THE IDEA OF USING SENTENCECOMPLETIONS TO LIVE MORE CONSCIOUSLY. IN OTHER WORDS, TAKING THE TIME TO SIT DOWN AND WRITEDOWN FULL SENTENCES, WHETHER THEY ARE AFFIRMATIONS OR METHODS OF IMPROVEMENT, HELP US TO BEMORE PRESENT. THE PRACTICE OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE: THE PRACTICE OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE IS ABOUT AWARENESS ANDACCEPTANCE OF BOTH OUR SUCCESSES AND FAILURES. WE SHOULDN’T LET OUR FAILURES DESTROY OUR SELFESTEEM AND WE SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE OUR SUCCESSES MORE. THE PRACTICE OF SELF-RESPONSIBILITY: THE PRACTICE OF SELF-RESPONSIBILITY MEANS UNDERSTANDINGTHAT WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN CHOICES, ACTIONS, AND BEHAVIORS. THE PRACTICE OF SELF-ASSERTIVENESS: THE PRACTICE OF SELF-ASSERTIVENESS IS TO BE AUTHENTIC ANDHONEST WITH OURSELVES AND IN THE WAYS THAT WE LIVE. THE PRACTICE OF LIVING PURPOSEFULLY: THE PRACTICE OF LIVING PURPOSEFULLY IS TO USE OUR POWERS,INSPIRATIONS, AND MOTIVATIONS TO PURSUE OUR GOALS. IT IS TO IDENTIFY OUR VALUES AND BELIEFS ANDTO TAKE THE ACTIONS AND THE STEPS TO ACHIEVE OUR GOALS. THE PRACTICE OF PERSONAL INTEGRITY: THE PRACTICE OF PERSONAL INTEGRITY IS IDENTIFYING OUR BELIEFS,STANDARDS, MORALS, AND BEHAVING ACCORDINGLY.SELF-ESTEEM AND RELAPSE PREVENTIONHOW DOES SELF ESTEEM IMPACT RELAPSE PREVENTION?IN THE POPULAR VIEW OF SELF ESTEEM, LOW SELF ESTEEM WOULD BE SEEN TO NEGATIVELYIMPACT RELAPSE PREVENTION BECAUSE SETBACKS IN RECOVERY AND RELAPSING CAN FEEL LIKECOMPLETE FAILURES TO SOME PEOPLE WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM. HOWEVER, EMPHASIZES THATRELAPSES ARE NOT WEAKNESSES OR FAILURES, THEY ARE A NORMAL PART OF RECOVERY ASSUCH, RELAPSES SHOULD BE ACKNOWLEDGED, AND ARE AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT. CHANGESHOULD BE IDENTIFIED TO CONTINUE ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY. THAT BEING SAID, WHILEHAVING GOOD SELF ESTEEM IS OVERALL A POSITIVE THING, ANOTHER WAY OF THINKINGABOUT OURSELVES IS TO EVALUATE OUR ACTIONS ON THEIR OWN, RATHER THAN DRAWINGCONCLUSIONS ABOUT OURSELVES AS WORTHY OR UNWORTHY PEOPLE, BASED ON OURACTIONS7

4/15/22WE MIRROR OUR PEERS TO TRY AND FIT IN.A CLEAR REFLECTION OF INNER CONFLICT AND INSTABILITY. FOREVER WISHING AND WANTING FORSOMETHING MORE. BUT WHY? IS THE SELF WE HAVE SO UGLY?WE OFTEN NEVER SEE THAT WE HAVE WHAT OTHERS WANT.LIVING IN PEACE WITH ALL SIDES OF US, ESPECIALLY THE ONES WE DON'T LIKE, IS ONE OF THE MOSTDIFFICULT CHALLENGES ON OUR PATH.FOR EXAMPLE, I CAN BE AT PEACE WITH BEING OVERWEIGHT WHILE WANTING TO LOOK DIFFERENT.OR ANOTHER EXAMPLE, TO BE AT PEACE WITH MY CURRENT ECONOMIC SITUATION AND AT THE SAMETIME STRIVE TO IMPROVE IT.8

4/15/22THE CALMER I AM, THE MORE AT PEACE AND ACCEPTING OF MY CURRENT SITUATION I AM, THE EASIERIT IS FOR ME TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES AND ACTIONS TO CHANGE IT. ON THE OTHER HAND, IF IDO NOT ACCEPT MYSELF AND MY SITUATION, I FEELGUILTSHAMEJUDGMENTSELF-REJECTIONANXIETY.THESE EMOTIONS IMPAIR THE THOUGHT AND ACTION PROCESSES AND PUSH ME TO A MORE PASSIVEPLACE.SO HOW DO I ACCEPT MYSELF WITH ALL THE PARTS I DON'T LIKE IN ME?HOW DO I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ALL MY PAST MISTAKES THAT LEAD ME TO WHERE I AM TODAY?HOW DO I FIND PEACE BETWEEN ME AND MY SELF?I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT AT TIMES IT FEELS IMPOSSIBLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN NO ONE ELSE ACCEPTSMEWHAT HAS HELPED ME GREATLY IN ACCEPTING MYSELF AND MY LIFE SITUATION IS THEUNDERSTANDING THAT THINGS COULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ANY DIFFERENT.THE PERSON I AM TODAY, THE STATE OF MY LIFE AND THE CHALLENGES I FACE, ARE ALL THEPRODUCT OF ENDLESS FACTORS THAT I HAVE NOT CHOSEN AND HAVE HAD NO CONTROLOVER. MY PARENTSCULTUREENVIRONMENTAL CONDITIONS IN MY EARLYCHILDHOOD MY EDUCATIONATTENTION I HAVE RECEIVEDALL THE EXPERIENCES AND OPPORTUNITIES THAT CAME MY WAY AS A CHILD HAVE LEAD ME TOWHO AND WHERE I AM TODAY. AND ALL OF THESE, I DID NOT CHOOSE AND HAD NOCONTROL OVER. THEY ARE THE EXPERIENCES THAT SHAPED THE PERSON I AM, THE WAY IPERCEIVE LIFE, THE GOALS I CHOOSE AND MY LEVEL OF SUCCESS IN COMPLETING THESEGOALS.9