Transcription
Creating a Healthy MarriagePresented by Military & Family Life Counselors
Objectives» Discuss the myths of marriage» Examine the stages of marriage» Understand the behaviors that lead to and intensifymarital conflict» Learn the keys to creating and maintaining a healthymarriage2
Marriage MythsWhat are some common myths about marriage?3
Marriage MythsA Great Relationship:» Depends on a great meeting of the minds» Requires a great romance» Requires great problem solving» Requires common interests» Is always a peaceful one» Lets you vent all of your feelings» Has nothing to do with sex» Cannot survive a flawed partner» Requires you to do things the “right way”» Requires you to straighten your partner out4
Stages of Marriage»»»»»Romantic LoveDisillusionment/the Power ce: Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendricks5
Behaviors That Intensify Conflict» What are some of the behaviors we engage in thatcause or intensify conflict in our marriages?» What are some of the behaviors we engage in that canhelp reduce conflict?6
Behaviors That Intensify onewallingFloodingReference: Gottman & Silver, The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work7
Dealing with Differences & Conflict» Set boundaries» Clearly communicate your needs» Learn the art of negotiation» Identify and own your feelings» Check out your assumptions» Consider your spouse’s point of view» Create win-win solutions8
Principles for Creating a Healthy Marriage» Have a solid friendship» Know your spouse» Strive for emotional intimacy» Make time to be together» Let your partner influence you» Solve the solvable issues» Create shared meaning9
Tools for Maintaining Healthy Relationships» Active listening» Nonverbal communication» Own your messages» Keep anger contained» Remember to have fun10
Love is the triumph of imagination overintelligence.- H.L. Menicken11
Questions12
Resources» Military Community Services» Chaplain and Local Clergy» Military OneSource (800) 342-9647» TRICARE www.tricare.osd.mil» Behavioral Health Services13
ReferencesInternet– www.familydigest.com– www.relationshipjourney.com– www.drphil.comBooks– Barnett, Doyle. 20 Communication Tips for Couples: A 30-MinuteGuide to a Better Relationship. New World Library.– Gottman, John M & Silver, Nan. The Seven Principles for MakingMarriage Work. Three Rivers Press.– Hendrix, Harville. Getting the Love You Want. Owl Books.– Stone, Douglas, Patton, Bruce, Heen, Sheila, & Fisher, Roger. DifficultConversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Penguin, USA.14
20 Communication Tips for Couples: A 30-Minute Guide to a Better Relationship. New World Library. – Gottman, John M & Silver, Nan. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Three Rivers Press. – Hendrix, Harville. Getting the Love You Want. Owl Books. – Stone, Douglas, Pa
