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ME- The importance of SELF-LOVEBonnie SadighME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE1BONNIESADIGH.COM
Who is Bonnie Sadigh?Hi! My name is Bonnie Sadigh, and I am theCo-Founder of “Wheel of Wellbeing” the hub fora “Wholistic” and integrated method to MindBody Wellbeing. Through the years, Wheel ofWellbeing and its unique approach to wellbeinghas helped thousands of people reach peace ofmind, live their lives with purpose, have magicalrelationships and cultivate tools for living a lifeof their dreams.I am a Master Neuro-Linguistic Programming(NLP) Practitioner, Master Clinical Hypnotherapist, Emotional FreedomTechnique (EFT) Practitioner, Master Time Technique Practitioner; andCertified Transpersonal Energy. I also have a Masters Degree in Fine Artsfrom Queens College of New York.I am a life and Success CoachAn authorA bloggerAnd a PainterI am also a life enthusiast. I say this because I intentionally want to remindmyself to strive to be a better version of myself and to make the most ofthis life I am privileged to have! I am a lifelong learner. My curiosity andpassion for learning have lead me to study and self-educate myself inmany diverse fields.Together with my husband and my business partner we owned andmanaged several successful businesses in New York and Los Angeles.Our mutual longing and curiosity for understanding how the mind works,our pursuit of self-improvement and our love for being of service,eventually lead us to birth the Wheel of Wellbeing in 2008.ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE2BONNIESADIGH.COM
WELCOMEI have to admit; the idea of self-love was a veryforeign concept to me way into my adulthood!I was excited, content and grateful to have found thelove of my life at a young age of 17. I loved him, heloved me and, we were happy as two soulmates couldbe. He was my “everything,” and I was his“everything.”He made me happy, he made me laugh, he made mysadness go away; he became my emotional crutch for whatever thatwasn’t going right in my life. I relied on him to make it better, to fulfill meand to make me whole, as he did of me.And then life happened; we got married and soon after we were blessedwith two beautiful boys. Life was happening at a dizzying speed. I becamea stay home mom; he became a working dad The freshness of therelationship was surely fading and, the responsibilities of life were takingover.I was exhausted, he was drained. I wanted his validation, praise, andattention, he wanted to be appreciated, acknowledged, and nurtured. Ouremotional tank was getting empty fast, expectations were piling up, anddisappointments were building up.This wasn’t because we were falling out of love, but because we bothmisunderstood what being in love meant. We were becoming independentadults with different responsibilities, desires, needs and wants. We werebecoming two separate identities that no matter how much we loved eachother, we couldn’t make the other whole.The compulsion to be excessively dependent on the other for approval,acknowledgment, and wholeness was what we translated as being in love.That was as unhealthy as it could get.ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE3BONNIESADIGH.COM
We soon realized that our co-dependent relationship was not going towork or last for that matter. Years of self-improvement books, training,workshops, therapy and counseling later, I now know that my happinessand wholeness begins and ends with me. (and yes, he does too!)You see, If I called someone else my “everything,” that meant that I was“nothing” without them.I certainly didn’t want that!As I became aware of the concept of self-love, I discovered that Iappreciate and value my partner’s validation, praises, andacknowledgments, BUT, I wasn’t dependent on it anymore.I learned that for a healthy relationship to work and be strong each partnerneeds to remain self-sufficient and whole by themselves. Each partnerneeds to maintain a clear self-identity apart from the other and to be ableto stand on his or her own two feet.My intention for writing this ebook is to emphasize to YOU, that youare whole and complete already. You don’t need anyone else to makeyou complete.You are not broken and don’t need a significant other to make youunbroken!You are unique, beautiful, talented, competent, self-sufficient, perfectlyimperfect and complete all by yourself; and you can be better by startingto love yourself.If you are looking for a meaningful relationship, look for one that enhancesyour greatness and brings out the best in you. If you are already in arelationship, be the spice that enriches your partner’s uniqueness.It is NOT selfish to love ourselves, in fact, loving ourselves allows us tolove others much profoundly. Always, always love yourself.ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE4BONNIESADIGH.COM
PS: These ebooks are divided into three downloadable sets:ME- The Importance of Self LoveFrom ME 2 WE- The Building Blocks of a Healthy RelationshipWE- How to Maintain and Bring Back the Spark into Your RelationshipMake sure to download all three!ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE5BONNIESADIGH.COM
The Foundation of Every HealthyRelationship Starts withSELF- LOVEHow can you love another person if you don’t love yourself?How can you expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself?I genuinely believe that the energy we put out is the energy we attract;when we start to love and accept the fantastic, unique individual that weare, we cultivate and attract loving and accepting people.“LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE”“The law of attraction states that “like attracts like.” This means thatpeople with a low frequency — people who are insecure and selfabandoning — attract each other, while people with a high frequency —people who love and value themselves — also attract each other.”All great things happen with self-love; if you see yourself as worthy, thenyou can attract a great partner, an amazing career, a loving family, andultimately a fulfilling, happy life. Everything worthwhile in life starts with theself.Looking outside of yourself for happiness and contentment is the numberone cause of relationship challenges. The health and strength of yourrelationship start from your connection to yourself. Self-love, selfconfidence, self-trust and ultimately inner happiness, does not happen byfinding the “right” person. The right partner can enhance those qualities,but they cannot instill them in you.Unfortunately, most of us are waiting for the weight to come off, or get theraise we’ve been wanting, or have the partner of our dreams to feel wholeME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE6BONNIESADIGH.COM
and loved. We love ourselves with self-inflicted conditions. We canchange; Change Happens One Thought At A Time!To be able to build a respectful, loving, and compassionate relationship,one MUST first and foremost be respectful, loving, and kind towards self.The longest and most intimate relationship you will ever have is withyourself!So go ahead and give yourself permission to make it an amazing loveaffair. We have been misled into believing that self- love is selfish andnarcissistic. That could not be further away from the truth! Self-love is notwrong; it is absolutely necessary for our wellbeing and the wellbeing of ourrelationships.Drop the guilt, shame, and any other negative adjective you attach to selflove and continue reading Don’t confuse SELF-CARE withSELF-LOVEYou might be taking care of yourself physically by working out, eatinghealthy and by buying yourself nice things. You might be taking care ofyour financial needs by working smart, having good investments, and bycreating financial security for yourself. You might be taking care of yourspiritual needs by meditating, praying and going to places of worship; andyou might be taking care of your social and relational needs by having lotsof friends, thousands of followers on your social media platforms andhaving night outs and lots of get-togethers, and yet feel something is stillmissing inside.You feel a void, you might even feel anxious, or have depressed thoughts.You might feel angry and have destructive self-talk. Despite all that youhave, you might still feel lonely. Something deep inside does not quite feelright, because you are not taking care of your emotional needs.ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE7BONNIESADIGH.COM
The need for your emotional wellbeing is the core and the foundation ofself-love. Self-love happens when we are emotionally content, and whenwe truly and genuinely accept who we are regardless of what we have andwhat we don’t have.How do you begin to loveyourself?The process of self-love is a journey within; self-gratification, instantpleasures, self-care, and positive affirmations may feel good and besatisfying at the moment; however, they only mask what we are avoidingto see and creates a false sense of self-love. Self-love is not about a stateof feeling good, but rather being content and fulfilled with who you are.ALL of YOU. ACCEPT yourself- To love yourself, you must first get to knowyourself, and then accept who you are! This means all of you; thegood, the bad, the perfect you, and the imperfect you. It can be apainful and uncomfortable process; after all, we are so used toblaming ourselves and having shame about our past that we feelunworthy of love. Identify your VALUES- What is important to you? What mattersmost to you? What do you want in a partner? What brings you joyand satisfaction?Your values reflect in everything that you do, in every decision youmake and ultimately in everyone you choose to have in your lives.Your values are what allows you to live your life authentically andpassionately. They are your tightly held beliefs and principles thatmake you who you are, genuinely. Your values also determine whatyou see as valuable in others. If your values are not in sync with yourpartner, how can you sustain a healthy relationship?ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE8BONNIESADIGH.COM
Imagine this! If one of your top values is being faithful, how can yoube happy with someone that believes in open relationships and whocontinually cheats?If your values are integrity and honesty, how would it feel to stay in ajob where the boss unrelentingly takes advantage of his or heremployees?Action TASK- Take a moment and start writing down your values,(best way to do this is to write them on sticky notes) don’t worryabout putting them in order at first. Write down whatever comes tomind, and when you think you are done, take a break and repeat theprocess. Do this three times. Once you have everything writtendown, then start to prioritize and put them in order. When you say YES to others, make sure you are not saying NOto yourself! One of the main principles of setting personalboundaries is to know when to say YES wholeheartedly and when tosay NO. It is OK to evaluate the request and assess if it works foryou at that moment. If you have doubts, it is also completely ok tosay, “Can I get back to you on that?” Don’t un-hesitantly say yes,because you want to be a people pleaser, and don’t say NO out ofresentment and anger. Both your YES and your NO need to alwayscome from a place of self-preservation. Have a PURPOSE- Having a purpose is what drives us forward; it iswhat gives meaning to our lives. Your purpose, however big or small,needs to excite and motivate you. It is that “thing” that you wake upin the morning for, and get lost doing with joy and enthusiasm therest of the day. Having a purpose elevates your self-esteem; havingself-esteem promotes self-love. Your purpose may be to end worldhunger, to find a cure for cancer, to impact as many people as youcan by your words, or be a nurturing parent and to raise responsiblechildren. Whatever it is that warms your heart and makes it beat alittle faster with excitement that is your calling. You can only bebetter, not perfect!ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE9BONNIESADIGH.COM
Take ACTION- Step out of your comfort zone and do what makesyou happy, take a step towards your dreams. Know what you want,as opposed to what you don’t want. Make it a habit of doing onenew thing constantly. Identify your FEELINGS- Listen to your body. Our bodies constantlycommunicate with us through our physiology and our thoughts.Recognize what is happening in your body, our emotions manifestthrough our bodies. Pay attention to the cues your body is givingyou. Being able to identify and name the feelings, will allow you toanswer this question: “What is going on with me right NOW?”Use this chart to help you identify and name your feelingsME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE10BONNIESADIGH.COM
Be WHOLE- Relying on another person to complete you, is a recipefor disaster in any relationship. No one can make you feel happy,confident, and lovable. Expecting someone else to fulfill your needs,deprives you of your true identity, it makes you needy, frustrated,and lost without “the other.” No two incompletes ever make acomplete circle, but rather create a void full of resentment,judgment, blame, and anger. It’s only when two complete and wholepeople meet that real magic happens. It’s only then thatrelationships become healthy, strong, meaningful, and truly magical.“An outstanding love doesn’t come from two half-fulfilled people comingtogether to make one whole, complete life. Outstanding love comes fromtwo whole people coming together to share and enhance their already fulland beautiful lives.” Pia Scade Be GRATEFUL- Cultivate an attitude of gratitude; this is one of themost powerful practices you can do to see positive results in yourlife. The more grateful you are; the more life will offer you to begrateful for. It’s a simple practice with immense outcomes. Everyday, spend a few minutes to list the things you are grateful for andgrow your list every day. Forgive YOURSELF- We are humans. We make mistakes; we fail;we say things that we shouldn’t. We break hearts - intentionally orunintentionally. We hurt people by our actions or our in-actions.What happens after you’ve made a mistake?First, realize the past is the past. No matter how regretful, ashamed,or guilty we feel, no amount of self- negative talk, or self-criticism willundo the past. Learn from your mistakes, identify your biggestregrets, take responsibility, and correct wherever possible. Realizethat you can only do your personal best at any given moment; live byyour values; be kind to yourself, forgive yourself and ultimately moveon.ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE11BONNIESADIGH.COM
Quieting the critic inside your headI am pretty sure you are all familiar with that critic. That nagging voiceinside your head that wants to prove to you that you are not good enough;that voice that mocks you, intimidates you, judges you, teases you and isdetermined to hold you back.That voice that seems to appear from nowhere, while you are doing aproject and creates doubt in you, and tries really hard to convince you,you are not worthy enough, pretty enough, competent enough, smartenough, thin enough, tall enough, rich enough .Yes, that voice! That critical voice is robbing you of your truth, from yourcreativity, values, worthiness, curiosity and your greatness.Here are 3 ways to quite that inner critic:1. Hear it, but don’t listen to it- Acknowledge the voice; talk to it;seriously! Talk back to the inner voice, almost like a rebuttal. Tell thevoice it does not have power over you anymore. Tell it, so what ifyou think that?2. Reverse the negative into positive- The best way to quite the criticis to reframe and switch the negative talk into a positive statement.Example: “You are a loser; no one wants to be with you.”Reframe: “Because of my great qualities I will attract the perfectpartner.”If the negative talk can make you feel down, then the positive talksurely can lift you up!3. Find out the root cause of your limiting beliefs- This may not beso easy as a DIY process. So I encourage you to seek professionalsupport in releasing your limiting beliefs.ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE12BONNIESADIGH.COM
Our relationship with our selves can be as complex as a relationship withanother. It can go up and down; it may seem easy and effortless one dayand nearly impossible the next day. However, if you learn how to acceptwithout judgment, live by your core values, live life with purpose andpassion; be able to get past your “failures” and see them only as feedbackand life lessons and forgive yourself; know what your body is telling youand take action accordingly; then loving yourself and respecting who youare will become an effortless task.You are one of a kind! There is no one like you, appreciate youruniqueness, your strengths, and your weaknesses. They are what makeyou who you are. Talk lovingly to yourself, acknowledge yourself and givegratitude to your BEING.'Loving yourself needs practice! As in anything else that is worthwhile.Practice loving yourself a little more every day.With love & gratitudeBonnie SadighME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE13BONNIESADIGH.COM
To connect with BonnieorTo book an 1548ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE14BONNIESADIGH.COM
Always, always love yourself. ME- THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-LOVE BONNIESADIGH.COM 5 PS: These ebooks are divided into three downloadable sets: ME- The Importance of Self Love From ME 2 WE- The Building Blocks of a Healthy Relationship WE- How to
