Transcription
A zine exploring topics of sex, love and romance created by students of Feminist Studies 150 HSex,Love,RomanceFree
This zine is a product ofFeminist Studies 150H: Sex, Love, and Romance,Spring 2012.The students in the honors sectioncontributed a variety of worksthat illustrate some of the themes of the course,sometimes as they relate to life atthe University of California, Santa Barbara.Thanks to Olivia (III) Honowitz and Becca Loux for layout.Cover by Becca Loux2
Talking About MasturbationBy Grace MorrisonMasturbation is something I have notfelt comfortable talking about withanyone. Until the age of twenty I hadnever had a conversation about masturbation. Through Debra Tolman’sDilemmas of Desire I came to realizethat this might not be rare, and thatperhaps many people feel more uncomfortable than myself even thinkingabout their own masturbation.I decided to interview seven friendsand in so doing open up dialoguesaround a subject little discussed, andoften shrouded in embarrassment orshame. I promised to keep the interviews between five to ten minutes, butfor five out of the seven interviews wetalked for a good thirty minutes, gettingcaught up in discussions about goodvibrators, funny anecdotes, and why itmight be that women’s masturbation isso taboo.The following is the data and bitsand pieces of the dialogues that wereshared (often for the first time) onmasturbation.All interviewees masturbated. Theybegan to do so between the ages offive and seventeen, with the mode agebeing twelve. The average frequencywith which individuals masturbatedranged from three or four times a weekto twice a year. Most agreed that theyhad orgasms more easily and quicklywhile masturbating than having sexwith a partner, opinions on the “quality”of orgasm between masturbation andsex varied greatly.On first times and early (mis)understandings:“When I started I felt like there wassomething mentally wrong with me, so,like, I would have liked it if, like, I hadsomeone to talk to and tell me, ‘Oh, no,you’re completely fine actually. At onepoint I didn’t I knew that it felt good,like, but I didn’t know what it was untilpeople started describing it, and I waslike, oh, okay, that makes a lot moresense now.” –Melissa“ And, um, I would like tell my friends,and they were like, wow, and I waslike, yeah, it’s so weird, like, like wherewe pee feels really interesting. And Ithought only I knew.”–Julie“I remember discovering this, um, Ithink it was like sixth grade, um, but Iremember, like, one day I was just, likeover zealous in my like shower routineand was like, you know, washing everywhere and I just discovered that this,like, felt good.” –Bonnie“And I didn’t really know that that’s howyou did it it just kind of, like, happened.I don’t even know how to explain it. Ithink it’s like part of instinct.” –Ellie“When I was in high school I was tryingto read, like, on yahoo answers like howto masturbate, ‘cause I was like, ‘Howdo other people do it?’” –AutumnOn technique, method and comfort:“ After I stopped being a virgin and feltmore comfortable with it, I, um, sometimes, like, I usually stick to the clitbecause it’s just, like, the finger’s notgonna really help me, but, like, um andplus it’s very difficult for me to get offvaginally, so, um, yeah, that’s usuallythe way I do it.” –Melissa“Do you remember those, like pillowsthat had the balls in them that werereally hip for a while that had like avibrator inside of it yeah that’s superembarrassing. Wow, I never thoughtabout [how I masturbate] um, I justuse my hands. But, I, not like inside,I don’t find that it grosses me out. Idon’t like that, so just like clitoral.” –Bonnie“I’m curious to try [a vibrator] out, but,at the same time it seems like sucha commitment, and I feel like I wouldget I would definitely like enjoy it toomuch.” –Lena“I feel like the way I masturbate versusthe way I have sex is just so completely different that I feel like they’rejust completely different experiences,it’s weird. ‘Cause when I masturbate Idon’t even touch myself at all, it’s just,like, all muscle contractions but I likewhen someone touches my clitoriswhen I have sex.” –AutumnOn watching porn and/or ‘getting inthe mood’:“Listening to music is definitely a goodway to, like, get in the mood um, reading erotica.” –Lena“Sometimes I’ll just like watch pornor something, and then there’s sometimes where I’m just laying in bedand I’m like, huh, I’ll just masturbate,whatever. I don’t like watching straightporn ‘cause, like, when I like watch pornI watch it ‘cause I know it’s like not real,and straight porn I guess is, like, tooreal ‘cause, like, that’s the kind of sexI have, and so I kind of steer clear of itusually ” –Autumn“ At first I really hated [porn]. I actuallylike girls better ‘cause the girl/guy is always just so just disgusting. But if it’sgirl/girl I like that better, which and I’venever had a girl, girl experience so Idon’t know what that’s about.” -BonnieOn talking (or not) about masturbation and/or sex:“I kind of wish, um, girls would talkabout [masturbation] more, um, or evensex more because I feel like in a lot ofsituations, like, especially the first time[having sex], girls feel more pressure to,like or they’re not okay with somethingbut they keep letting it happen becausethey don’t know what to say. I supposeto the average person sex would bemore easy to talk about, but in a closerknit circle I think masturbation. Or evenlike masturbation where it’s just like,um, some girls, like, just don’t do it, orthey feel ashamed for doing it, or evenin my case, I didn’t understand it forthe longest time, and, like, I couldn’t like, it’s not something you really wantto talk to your parents about.” –Melissa“I don’t like talking about masturbationwith guys. I just wish girls talked aboutit more, like, it wasn’t such a privatething.” –Hanna“I guess since masturbation doesn’tcome up often I’m not sure howcomfortable I am talking about it, but,like, sex I’m pretty comfortable talkingabout.” –Autumn“I have only talked about it once withmy best friend, and I don’t even thinkwe said that word (masturbation) wejust, like, alluded to it and she hadnever. She was eighteen. I assume thatmy other best friend Alex hasn’t, but Idon’t know. I know that I, myself, like,I need it, and I know that a lot of girlsaren’t that way. And like, even when I’m3
even when I’m having sex with Nathan, like, I want to do it. I want to. Andfor some girls it’s ‘Oh, all he wants todo is have sex,’ but, like, for me it’simportant too. Like, I want to too, andI have a feeling that it isn’t that wayfor all girls, so I could imagine that notall girls would masturbate becausethey’ve never felt that that I feel. I feellike there’s a stereotype that girls don’tmasturbate, that it’s like unladylike orsomething, and, so, I definitely feel thatway, and I feel like I don’t want peopleto think that, like, I am less of a lady.When I’m talking about it with guysit’s generally not a big deal whereasif a girl asked me I would probablystill tell the truth, I would say yes, butI wouldn’t be inclined to, like yeah ‘cause I feel like so many less girls dothan guys do. And I don’t know, ‘causeI’ve never talked to any of them aboutit, maybe they do and they just don’ttalk about it, like me.” –Bonnie“Sex definitely comes up more ‘causemasturbation’s just like people justdon’t talk about it, especially girls. Ithink people are just really embarrassed by masturbation. Um, I don’tknow why. People talk about sex andpeople just don’t talk about masturbation. I think it’s more acceptable forguys to be thought of as sexual beings,and like, we’re taught that it’s on theirmind like 95% of the time or somethingin sex ed., I think, and then, so it’s like,we understand that they talk about it,but, then, like, people think it’s not ongirls’ minds as often and I don’t thinkit is, but, I don’t know. I feel like masturbation is kind of a sign that you’resecure with yourself, kind of, yeah.”–Julie“I used to read Seventeen and stuff,and they would, like, talk about it, like,‘Oh, is it bad?’ A lot of girls would say,like, ‘Is it bad to masturbate? Like, I justfeel like it’s wrong.’ like, I don’t feel likeit’s wrong Masturbation just seemslike, if you’re doing it, like, you know,sex is a thing that you kind of ‘have’ todo in order to like reproduce, or whatever, and masturbation kind of, like, itjust seems like that’s a thing you’redoing for yourself, and that’s just kindof, like weird, or, like, bad, especially forwomen. I feel like, well, I don’t really doit that often, but I feel like it’s something that girls should definitely try, be-4cause then you can like, it’s your body.And I feel like masturbating, just, likethe fact that it’s not talked about, like,girls masturbating is not talked about,I feel like it’s just part of censoring thatpart of your body.” –EllieConcluding thoughts:The responses and anecdotes sharedvaried significantly. Though all thewomen interviewed did masturbate,their reported pleasure and personalcomfort with their own masturbationfluctuated immensely between interviewees, and sometimes betweenindividual answers.One recurring theme was that manywomen, even while admitting or talkingabout their own sexual desire andagency while masturbating wouldoften return to speculation that maybeother women do not masturbate asmuch as them, or ever. By all masturbating, these women challengedthe misconception that women don’tusually masturbate. However, they didnot all see themselves as challengingthat idea, instead tending to think ofthemselves as anomalies or strangeexceptions with unusual sex drives.Most women identified a gender binarybetween men and women’s masturbation, believing masturbation to besomething “talked about over lunch”(Hanna) by men, while hardly ever (ornever) discussed by women. Theyall wanted to talk about it more oftenamong close friends, or wished it wasa subject that could be talked aboutwithout embarrassment or shame.Many reflected that this had to do witha general social discomfort with imagining or recognizing women as sexualbeings.When I asked for final comments aboutmasturbation many chose to talkabout the fact that masturbation feelstaboo and pondered why that might be.Others wanted to talk about vibratorsand the best sexual positions to reachorgasm. I believe this reflects thegeneral theme of conflicted feelingsand messages that the women sharedas they spoke about negotiating theirown sexual desire and exploration ofpleasure, and the general perceptionthat on some level this was not socially acceptable or truly okay. Yet allthe women continue to, very privately,challenge this social taboo in favorof their own personal pleasure andsexuality, exercising their “erotic voice”(Tolman) even if they believe others willnot be comfortable listening.
“DilemmasofDesire”Who’s in Dilemma?.Drawing by Cindy Nguyen5
The Horny Good Girlby Sarah PucketteI’m here to tell you, girls,That it’s okay to have sexual desire,It’s normal.I know you think we live in a world where women are sexless,Passive,Only objects of the unbridled sexual urges of men.But you can want sex as much as a man, if you want.I have consciously felt sexual pleasure since I was 8 years old,Seriously, I remember.“I’m not masturbating, I’m just simulating sex!” I reassuredmyself.How ignorant I was.I knew it was something to be ashamed of,I remember thinking “I hope I grow out of this habit before Ihave a husband because I don’t know how I can hide it fromhim. What will he think of it?”Again, how little I knew,How little I knew about husbands.One time my mom caught me: infinite embarrassment.Is anything worse than that?Luckily, she said it was okay,In private at least.She did it too when she was a little girl.What? You mean I’m not a freak?This sexual awareness at such a young age really helped me.I knew myself,I knew what felt good, even though I knew very littleAbout sex with a man.I was in control of my desire,I had power.In junior high, I used the blog site xanga,When xanga was cool.I had a secret xanga,Used just for exploring the sexual frontier of THE INTERNET.My username: thehornygoodgirl.Yes, I was a good girl,But I was horny and knew a lot about sex.I was comfortable with my own horniness and understood it,But I kept it to myself.I wasn’t going to share it with the first boy who came along.But I love sex,I find it fascinating.I love learning about it,I love talking to people about it,I love helping others with their sexual problems,And I even love doing it.I’ve only slept with one person,My former partner of almost five years.Now that he’s out of the picture,Who knows what will happen next?But, because I am a woman,No, not just that,Because I am an introverted, intelligent, quiet woman,A nerd,6People make assumptions about me.“She doesn’t do that kind of thing. She’ll be shocked if I saythis. She doesn’t even know what a penis is. She’s so prude.Definitely a virgin.”And that hurts.No, I don’t want to be called a slut by the ignoramuses either,I just want recognitionOf my right to be the sexual beingThat I am by nature.Even if I am too shy to talk to strangers sometimes,That doesn’t mean I’m shy about discussing sex.In the hook-up culture of Isla Vista,I feel the need to defend myself.Yes, I’m a nerd,Yes, I get horny,Yes, I might have sex with a man if I choose to!Gasp!Little do they know I was the one who taught my friends everything.In elementary school, my Barbies were already doing it. (Atleast they tried.)On the other hand,Living in Isla Vista has allowed me to seeA number of other womenWho are proud to be themselves: sexual beings.Growing up, I often felt aloneLike I was the only girl who had sexual feelings.Society portrayed women as anti-sex,Only objects of male horniness.Cultural constructs made me feel isolated.Only as I got older did I see,Yes, many women do experience arousal,And they touch themselves, too,And it’s okay.But society won’t tell you that when you’re littleAnd confused,And ashamed.You have to gain access to that secret information,That’s why I’m here,To tell you all this.So girls, get to know yourself,Embrace your desires,It gives you agencyWhen you decide to share your desires with a partner,Not to mention,More pleasure.Just know that women have the right to feel sexual desire,Women have the right to want sex,Women have the right to not want sex,And women definitely have the right to masturbate like mendo,Although the right will probably be exercised less frequently.So try it: it’s free, easy fun,And unlike a partner,Unlike society,It will never let you down,Or say you are wrong.Its sole concernIs your satisfaction.
By Emily Berg7
That awkard momentwhen.At one point or another, we all experienced situations that have been lessthan ideal. A large portion of us have had at least one of these ‘less than ideal’situations while hooking up, or attempting to hook up, with someone. If youcan relate to the previous statement, here are a few stories from your peersto let you know that you are not alone. If you can’t relate, congratulations ondodging the bullet, here are a few stories from your peers to let you know that,yes, these things really do happen to people. Either way, enjoy.By: Brooke Hofhenke““8In high school when I was hooking up with my boyfriend one time I decided I was going to try to actall sexy. To do this, I was going to keep eye contactwith him while I gave him head. I stared into hiseyes and started to move towards his penis, but as Ilowered my head, still keeping my eye contact withhim, I found out that I didn’t have very good aimbecuase I ended up stabbing myself in the eye withhis penis instead!“”My girlfriend and I wanted to hook up so we decidedto go park out in the country. It was getting reallyhot and the windows were all fogged up when weheard a knock on the window. Where I’m from, kidsalways got busted for this by the cops and we knewthat was who must be at the door. My girlfriendcovered her body with her clothes and I opened thedoor half dressed to find out that it wasn’t just anycop who had busted us but it was my uncle. He sawus and, without saying a word. immediately turnedaround and walked away.”Well, this one timefreshman year, I washooking up with this guyfor the first time back in mydorm room. After a whileI kinda got to the pointwhere I realized that I didnot want to hook up withthis guy anymore and justwanted to sleep. So, I waslike, ‘ok well.see ya later’and he responded with,‘hey, you should give medome.’ I was shocked andjust said, ‘oh should I?’ Asyou can guess, that wasthe end of ourhookup.”
“One night I went out with my friends and I met a cute guy that I started to makeout with. We were behind his house on some old couch and making out when all of thesudden I saw him pull his dick out of his shorts. He noticed my obvious surprise andalmost as if he were doing me a favor by offering me some great deal he said, “just godown for a little bit.” In my head I was like, “WHAT THE FUCK!” I grabbed myphone and pretended my friend was calling so it would look like I absolutely ‘had’ toleave, but when I stood up to go saying that I was sorry but my friend needed me, hecaught my hand and in the creepiest whisper I have ever heard said, “just the tip.”After taking a split second to make sure this was real life, I yanked my hand back,ditched my friend excuse and got out of there.”“Ok so my dad has a trailer in his back yard thatis pretty big that sometimes he uses as an officeor we use for guests. One night I called my exboyfriend and told him to come meet me in thetrailer at a certain time. I checked to make suremy dad was sleeping and went to wait for him at ourmeeting spot. Five minutes later he showed up andwe started to hook up. Mid hook-up we see a lightshining around the trailer, I thought it was just mydad’s girlfriend so I told him to ignore it because Ifigured she was just looking for something outside.We start to hook up again and we hear a loudbanging on the door. I thought for sure it mustbe my dad so I freaked out and told him to hide. Istraightened myself up and opened the door to finda police officer, who was someone that I went tohigh school with by the way, with a flashlight in onehand and a gun in the other.both pointed at me.Naturally I let out a little yell and then asked whathe was doing pointing that at me. Apparently mydad had woken up and seen some man going into thetrailer and thought he was a burglar and called thecops. Straightening the matter out with my dad anda poli eofficer that was only a year or two aheadof me in my extremely small while my ex-boyfriendstood in the doorway behind me was definitely thelowest point of my summer.and probably my life.”Thank you to all of the people who shared their stories!9
GuysWhat is Sex, Love & Romance?When I aked 10 UCSB students what movies theythink embody these 3 categories they said.By Courtney WetherellGirls10
Iclearly queerand queerly herewhat is my representation of queerness?my queer representation of queernessreproducing myself and youand you, and youevery boy I've ever lovedevery man I've ever touchedwhat is my representation as such?it's clear we are just like everyone elsespecial snowflakes like everyone elseor are we the homo-superiorwhile every "no homo" straightis just denying his humanitymelancholy heteros cling to sanitysome of us cling to stereotype vanitytooleading us to violenceand only we are hurtIIso what is queerness to me?what's up with my identity?you know I'll still sayit sets us freebut in this world it's limitingcan I be everything I want to be?and how to act with company?these endless questions bother meand damn it still confuses meyet in the face of all this strifemy queerness still feelsoh so right.with all the questions, all the troubleall the personal & social struggleso we are just like youalways building up the rubble"we are just like you" needs to be erased all the labor and bursted bubblespointing out differences till we are put in all the looks and stares and glancesplacebroken hearts & lost romancesbut where is our safe space inall the paina heterosexual matrix of oppression,dodging slurscomes with good, with freein a hegemonic patriarchywith meappropriating our culture to thepoint where stereotypes emergeand that just may bequeerness to meturning us inside out whileidentity questions burn us out- RJ Thomsenuntil we are reversed11
Big Sexualityby Abrahan Monzon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
F%)!;#,;3#!"# !% &'!(#')*'%&'*!!!"# %&'(%&!()'&* '!!!!!!!!! !,' ,%'!"# !! !*'%&'*.!/&'0! 1(!!,' ,%'!"# !12'!!!"# %&!!( !% &'!(#')*'%&'*!!*312'!(#'!*#4(! 5(! !! !6 !(#'!*1)'.!7'!! 23'!,' ,%'!( !!#1&'!( !% 8!1(!"#9!!(#'9!#1('!(#'42!: 64'*!:'315*'!"'!! ! #1('! 52*!106!"'!! !;06!!* )'(4)'*!(#'9!!#1&'!0 !46'1!"#1(!!( !6 !"4(#!(#1( !* !!(#'9!13(!%48'!1**# %'*. !!!- 4 2'**!?*: 20'!!Excerpt fro attending a retreat for trans* folks *Abrahán Monzónremember that it is possible to love yourself, in thatbody full of contradictions. you have always lived atthe border, and you always will. that night, when youwere still young, was just a test of endurance, andyou are passing, but it is not over. remind you, you are fat, femme, butch, brown, lightskinned, healthy, beautiful. Remember,!"# %&"' ()"15
Sex Play, Bonobos and HumansBy Becca Loux16Izquierdo and her friendsBonobos engaging in sex playIsabel Behncke Izquierdo knows how important itis to play, and she owes much of that knowledge toa group of laughing primates in the Congo.A primatologist, Izquierdo has focused herresearch on one of the closest living relativesto humans: bonobos. The dwindling society ofmysterious primates that live deep in the AfricanCongo are the least understood out of all groupsof primates, yet she believes they show us animportant part of our evolution that we haven’tbeen able to understand previously. In a TED talkentitled “Evolution’s gift of play, from bonobo apesto humans,” Izquierdo elaborated on her findingsabout sex play among the bonobos and what thatmight mean about humans, both evolutionarily andlooking towards the future.Chimpanzees, the second-closest humanevolutionary ancestor, are prone to violence anduse physical prowess to maintain control in theircolonies; this aspect of one of our closest ancestorshas been emphasized by many evolutionaryscientists and connected to the formation of humansociety. However, Izquierdo believes that our closercousin the bonobo shows us the “other side of thecoin” (TED talks) with their play-based society inwhich they solve conflict with sexual frivolity. Shesays they are “highly tolerant” of each other andher research has never observed conflict solvedby physical violence. Izquirdo believes that thesequalities in bonobos are just as much a part of thehuman evolutionary scheme as the propensity forviolence in chimpanzee group behavior.For bonobos, the secret to their utopian society issex—lots of sex. “They have frequent, promiscuousand bisexual sex to manage conflict and solve socialissues,” Izquierdo explained. She does not believethat the solution to humanity’s problems can be assimple as the way bonobos deal with conflict, butshe points out that they also incorporate play intoall aspects of their lives. She feels that humans, whoalso participate in both sex play and other forms ofplay, share a lot more with bonobos than has beenpreviously noted. If we humans could embrace theopen and playful attitude about sex and sexualitythat our cousins seems to be naturally inclined to,perhaps we would not have so many problems indealing with sexuality in ourselves and in others.
The Adventures ofBuisiness Dyke & Lesbian Housewifeby Olivia Miller17
A Feminist Man-ifestoby Andrew MillerBased on common media depictions, and the ideas of many of mymale acquaintances, I once had the suspicion that feminists are a groupof pepper spray-toting, male-hating women who convene for the purposeof mutilating cylindrical foods. After taking a feminist studies course, anda little bit of maturing, I have come to realize that this is not an accuratedescription. More realistically, feminists are simply advocates of femaleagency and liberation. With this in mind, I just might be a feminist.However, I do have some gripe with many common practices.With regards to liberation, I believe it to be an absence of restraint fromanother party (in the case of feminism, the other party is most generallymen), which is most certainly a wonderful state of being. However, it hasoccurred to me that many believe it also to be an absence of restraint onthe part of oneself. In the wonderland of free-flowing booze and beautifulgirls that is UCSB, it pains me to see this sense of liberation translate to alack of responsibility. In the interest of agency, girls spend their weekendsbasking in the power-tool hum of Skrillex, or the monotonic rhymes ofDrake’s misogynistic “The Motto,” and hit the high seas of hedonismwith Captain Morgan and Sailor Jerry. Any given girl might be introducedto Captain and Sailor’s first mate, Joe Douchebag, and, in a moment ofvulnerability, say yes to his proposal of spending the night at his place,which is acceptable in the hook-up culture our microcosm of a collegecommunity has cultivated. Come daylight hours, she may undertake whatis known as the “walk of shame.” I am sure my peers are familiar with theterm, but it most certainly does not take a college student to realize thatthe “walk of shame” does not constitute any sort of agency or liberationwhatsoever.What I am getting at is with liberation comes a need for responsibility,and with excess comes consequences. This brief rumination from a 21stcentury Archie Bunker is by no means an imperative. I am in no position totell others what to do, nor do I have the ability to know what is best for mypeers. I also cannot say that this description of a “typical” night at UCSBapplies to everyone. This is merely a suggestion, not to remain an ingenuethroughout college, but simply to consider moderation as anotheroption, or choice, if you will, in the interest of agency. Take control ofyour evenings, which, in my opinion, is true liberation. Frankly, I believeyou should do whatever you want – just as long as it’s done cautiouslyand consciously.18
“sex”“love”“romance“. according toby Becca Loux19
Hopelessly In DesireBy: Dahlton GroverSweet sensations, deep desireOr is this just fire?To soon to knowSo lets just start slowI simply couldn’t resistAfter we first kissedBut now I’m so afraid,That I may have strayedWhat will they thinkIf I’m no longer pink?Perhaps I shouldn’t worryThough reality is getting blurry Now I’m extremely conflicted!Why must we be restricted?Danger and pleasureDon’t give away your treasureThat’s what I’ve always been toldBut now I feel so boldSo, what to do nowListen or break my vow?I don’t know what to do,Do you?20
6/7/12 6:01 PM21
“DeFlowering Sex, Loveand Romance”by Liv Cvitanic22
VOCAL FRYready to completely be in a commitment again. In other words, he likesBY PETERSON PHAMa good dick especially the ones onthe good-looking boys (Charlie findsThe following is a work of fiction.extreme importance in aesthetics).Any resemblance to persons living or This story begins as Dean anddead is purely coincidental.Charlie excitingly plan their weekleading up the BadToro Music FestiEspecially you, “Andrew”. Bitch.val, doing so instead of each writingtheir essays.Dean and Charlie are bestfriends. Although separated by dis- Dean and Charlie are best friends.tance as they go to different schools, This is their conversation aboutthey catch up online through Face- love, sex, and romance.book. This is their conversationabout love, sex, and romance.C: I made out with that girlDean Vo is 20-years-old. He isat the dance! She’s so cute! One ofgay. He is also a hopeless romantic; the few lipstick lesbians here.and in his eyes, he is still a virgin(he’s saving it for some
Sex, Love, Romance Free A zine exploring topics of sex, love and romance created by students of Feminist Studies 150 H. This zine is a product of Feminist Studies 150H: Sex, Love, and Romance, Spring 2012. The students in the honors section contributed a variety of works
