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Red Flags of Dating and Domestic Violence:Signs you or someone you know may be in an abusive relationshipSIGNS OF ABUSE ARE NOT ALWAYS AS OBVIOUS AS BRUISES. DATINGAND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CAN BE BROKEN INTO FOUR CATEGORIES:EMOTIONAL/MENTAL ABUSE, PHYSICAL ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, ANDFINANCIAL ABUSE. WARNING SIGNS OF EACH FORM OF ABUSEFOLLOW.*HAVING ONE OF THE EMOTIONAL OR FINANCIAL RED FLAGS DOES NOT NECESSARILYMEAN YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, BUT A COMBINATION OF THESE OR ONEOR MORE COMBINED WITH ANY PHYSICAL OR SEXUAL RED FLAG IS A GOOD INDICATORTHAT THE RELATIONSHIP IS PROBABLY ABUSIVE.*
Red flags for emotional abuse:uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuLooking at you or acting in ways that scare youControlling who you see, where you go, or what youdoKeeping you or discouraging you from seeing yourfriends or familyListening in on your conversations (by sitting close toyour phone or having you put it on speaker)Constantly gong through your phone and invadingyour privacyRequesting GPS trackingPreventing you from making your own decisions oracting like you aren’t capable of itTelling you that you’re a bad parentThreatening to harm or take away your childrenPreventing you from or making it difficult for you toattend work or schoolBlaming you for the abuse or acting like it’s nothappening (gaslighting)Attempting to stop you from pressing charges forphysical abuseThreatening to commit suicide because ofsomething you have doneExcessive jealousy or insecurityUnexpected bouts of rage or angerBlaming you for all the problems in the relationshipConstantly monitoring all details of yourwhereaboutsuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuCalling you fat, stupid, or any derogatory namesFalsely accusing you of thingsTaunting, bullying, embarrassing, or putting youdownWants to move very quickly in the relationship(become official quickly, move in together quickly,wants all your time to themselves)Does not honor your boundariesSays nobody else would ever love or want youInsists that you stop participating in hobbies orleisure activitiesChecks your car mileage or has friends check up onyouPretends to be concerned for your safety andproductive use of time when talking you out ofdoing thingsBecomes extremely angry when you are lateMakes you feel like you need to ask permission to docertain thingsYour partner makes all the decisions in therelationshipYou make excuses for your partner’s bad behaviorThey are overly critical of their previous partners(they were crazy, everything was their fault, etc.)Something in your gut feels wrong about therelationship
Red flags for physical abuse:uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuDestroying or vandalizing your property or their own property in front of you whenangryThreatening or hurting your petsIntimidating you with guns, knives, or other gChokingRestrainingThreatening to hurt or kill youPressuring or forcing you to use drugs or alcoholHolding you hostage or not letting you leave by blocking doorways or holdingyou downThrows objects at, around, or near youHas a reputation of battering others
Red flags for sexual abuse:uPressuring you to have sex when you do not want touNot respecting your boundariesuPressuring you to do things sexually you are not comfortable withuMaking you feel guilty for not wanting to have sex (saying they feelunwanted, you never want to, etc.)uForcing any unwanted contact on youuPreventing you from access to birth control or pressuring you tobecome pregnantuMakes sexual or degrading jokes about you
Red flags for financial abuse:uTaking your money or refusing to give you money for expensesuDiscouraging you from working without a logical reasonuShowing up at your job and causing a sceneuConstantly calling your jobuEncouraging you to call off work frequentlyuThreatens to remove you from the phone plan, not pay rent, etc. ifyou do not do what they want
Components of a healthyrelationship:uuuuuuuuuBeing yourselfHonestyGood communicationRespectFeeling SafeTrustEqualitySupportWhen arguing both stay calm, address the problem, don’t accuse,and step back to cool off when angry
Realize some of these red flags may apply to youor someone you know? Not sure what to do next?There is help! Reach out to:Mandi HowellWomen in NeedPhoenix Against Violence edu717-709-6225(24 hour hotline)
dating and domestic violence can be broken into four categories: emotional/mental abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and financial abuse. warning signs of each form of abuse follow. *having one of
