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PRACTICEPLANNERS SERIESTreatment PlannersThe Complete Adult Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, 3eThe Child Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, 3eThe Adolescent Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, 3eThe Addiction Treatment Planner, 2eThe Continuum of Care Treatment PlannerThe Couples Psychotherapy Treatment PlannerThe Employee Assistance Treatment PlannerThe Pastoral Counseling Treatment PlannerThe Older Adult Psychotherapy Treatment PlannerThe Behavioral Medicine Treatment PlannerThe Group Therapy Treatment Planner, 2eThe Gay and Lesbian Psychotherapy Treatment PlannerThe Family Therapy Treatment PlannerThe Severe and Persistent Mental Illness Treatment PlannerThe Mental Retardation and Development Disability Treatment PlannerThe Social Work and Human Services Treatment PlannerThe Crisis Counseling and Traumatic Events Treatment PlannerThe Personality Disorders Treatment PlannerThe Rehabilitation Psychology Treatment PlannerThe Special Education Treatment PlannerThe Juvenile Justice and Residential Care Treatment PlannerThe School Counseling and School Social Work Treatment PlannerThe Sexual Abuse Victim and Sexual Offender Treatment PlannerThe Probation and Parole Treatment PlannerThe Psychopharmacology Treatment PlannerThe Speech-Language Pathology Treatment PlannerThe Suicide and Homicide Risk Assessment & Prevention Treatment PlannerThe College Student Counseling Treatment PlannerThe Parenting Skills Treatment PlannerThe Early Childhood Intervention Treatment PlannerProgress Notes PlannersThe Child Psychotherapy Progress Notes Planner, 2eThe Adolescent Psychotherapy Progress Notes Planner, 2eThe Adult Psychotherapy Progress Notes Planner, 2eThe Addiction Progress Notes PlannerThe Severe and Persistent Mental Illness Progress Notes PlannerThe Couples Psychotherapy Progress Notes PlannerThe Family Therapy Progress Notes PlannerHomework PlannersBrief Therapy Homework PlannerBrief Couples Therapy Homework PlannerBrief Adolescent Therapy Homework PlannerBrief Child Therapy Homework PlannerBrief Employee Assistance Homework PlannerBrief Family Therapy Homework PlannerGrief Counseling Homework PlannerGroup Therapy Homework PlannerDivorce Counseling Homework PlannerSchool Counseling and School Social Work Homework PlannerChild Therapy Activity and Homework PlannerAddiction Treatment Homework Planner, 2eAdolescent Psychotherapy Homework Planner IIAdult Psychotherapy Homework PlannerParenting Skills Homework PlannerClient Education Handout PlannersAdult Client Education Handout PlannerChild and Adolescent Client Education Handout PlannerCouples and Family Client Education Handout PlannerComplete PlannersThe Complete Depression Treatment and Homework PlannerThe Complete Anxiety Treatment and Homework Planner

PracticePlanners Arthur E. Jongsma, Jr., Series EditorParenting SkillsHomework PlannerSarah Edison KnappJohn Wiley & Sons, Inc.

This book is printed on acid-free paper.oCopyright 2005 by John Wiley & Sons. All rights reserved.Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.Published simultaneously in Canada.No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or byany means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted underSection 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of thePublisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center,Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department,John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008 or online athttp://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts inpreparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completenessof the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for aparticular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials.The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with aprofessional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or anyother commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject mattercovered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services. Iflegal, accounting, medical, psychological or any other expert assistance is required, the services of a competentprofessional person should be sought.Designations used by companies to distinguish their products are often claimed as trademarks. In all instanceswhere John Wiley & Sons, Inc. is aware of a claim, the product names appear in initial capital or all capitalletters. Readers, however, should contact the appropriate companies for more complete information regardingtrademarks and registration.For general information on our other products and services please contact our Customer Care Departmentwithin the U.S. at (800) 762-2974, outside the U.S. at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not beavailable in electronic books. For more information about Wiley products, visit our website at www.wiley.comNote about Photocopy RightsThe publisher grants purchasers permission to reproduce handouts from this book for professional use withtheir clients.ISBN-13: 978-0-471-48182-9ISBN-10: 0-471-48182-3Printed in the United States of America.10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To parents throughout the worldwho are striving to safely and successfullyparent their children.

CONTENTSPracticePlanners Series PrefaceAcknowledgmentsxvxviiIntroductionxixSECTION I—Abusive ParentingExercise I.AOur Family’s Secret StoryExercise I.BMeasuring Our FeelingsSECTION II—Attention-Deficit /Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)151419Exercise II.AADHD Accommodations Request Form23Exercise II.BFamily Problem Resolution Worksheet29SECTION III—Attention-Seeking Behavior33Exercise III.AFamily Job Support Checklist37Exercise III.BMy Love and Trust Support Network42SECTION IV—Blended Family45Exercise IV.AHealing Hurt Feelings49Exercise IV.BUnique Roles in Our Blended Family53SECTION V—Bonding/Attachment Issues57Exercise V.ASteps to Responsible Behavior60Exercise V.BThe Behavior Progress Chart64SECTION VI—Career Preparation69Exercise VI.ACareer Family Tree72Exercise VI.BSchool-to-Career Diary78xi

xiiCONTENTSSECTION VII—Character Development83Exercise VII.ADivision of Family Labor86Exercise VII.BSharing the Family Resources90SECTION VIII—Children with Physical ChallengesExercise VIII.AExercise VIII.BStrategies for Supporting Our Child withPhysical Challenges100Working Together to Create a Plan102SECTION IX—Conduct Disorder/Delinquent BehaviorExercise IX.AExercise IX.B95105Replacing Noncompliance with Complianceand Cooperation109Using Privileges as Contingencies and Consequences114SECTION X—Dependent Children/Overprotective Parent117Exercise X.AOverprotective Parent versus Positive Parent120Exercise X.BCreating and Cooperating with Family Rules124SECTION XI—Depression127Exercise XI.ACreating Positive Self-Talk130Exercise XI.BManaging Positive and Negative Relationships134SECTION XII—Divorce/Separation139Exercise XII.ADivorce is Not My Fault142Exercise XII.BAssuming Our Parental Responsibilities145SECTION XIII—Eating Disorder149Exercise XIII.ABeautiful on the Inside152Exercise XIII.BModeling Healthy Attitudes about Nutrition,Exercise, and Body Image156SECTION XIV—Gifted/Talented159Exercise XIV.ATeaching Responsibility162Exercise XIV.BProcedures for Meals, Bedtime, and theMorning Routine165

CONTENTSSECTION XV—Grandparenting Strategiesxiii169Exercise XV.AParents’ Rules versus Grandparents’ Rules172Exercise XV.BPersonal Boundaries for Interaction withthe Grandchildren176SECTION XVI—Grief/Loss181Exercise XVI.AMonitoring Our Reactions to Change and Loss184Exercise XVI.BGrief and Loss Circle of Support188SECTION XVII—Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)191Exercise XVII.APlanning for Disruptive Behavior194Exercise XVII.BFamily-Approved Media List198SECTION XVIII—Peer Relationships/Influences201Exercise XVIII.ASocial Influences in My Child’s Life203Exercise XVIII.BPeer Pressures, Values, and Influences207SECTION XIX—Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)213Exercise XIX.AReframing Our Worries216Exercise XIX.BPhysical Receptors of Stress220SECTION XX—Poverty-Related Issues223Exercise XX.AAchieving Family Goals227Exercise XX.BDifferent Rules for Home and School231SECTION XXI—Prenatal Parenting Preparation235Exercise XXI.ACreating a Family-Friendly Lifestyle238Exercise XXI.BBonding with Our Prenatal Baby242SECTION XXII—School Adjustment Difficulties245Exercise XXII.AOrganizing for the School Day248Exercise XXII.BMy Ideal School Day252SECTION XXIII—Sexual Responsibility255Exercise XXIII.ASexual Responsibility and Healthy Self-esteem258Exercise XXIII.BMy Personal Sexual Responsibility Code262

xivCONTENTSSECTION XXIV—Sibling RivalryExercise XXIV.AAffirming Each Child’s UniquenessSECTION XXV—Single ParentingExercise XXV.AStress Reduction StrategiesSECTION XXVI—Spousal Role and Relationship Conflict265268273276279Exercise XXVI.AState of Our Marriage Report282Exercise XXVI.BOur Evolving Marriage and Spousal Roles287SECTION XXVII—Strategies for Preschoolers (Ages Birth to 6)295Exercise XXVII.ACharting Our Child’s Developmental Stages298Exercise XXVII.BHelping My Child Develop Responsible Behavior305SECTION XXVIII—Strategies for Children (Ages 7 to 12)311Exercise XXVIII.AThe Rewind Game315Exercise XXVIII.BRecord of Reinforced Behavior319Exercise XXVIII.CProblem-solving Worksheet323SECTION XXIX—Strategies for Teenagers (Ages 13 to 18)327Exercise XXIX.AListening with Empathy330Exercise XXIX.BEarning Privileges and Freedoms335SECTION XXX—Substance Abuse339Exercise XXX.AHealthy Habits to Support Recovery343Exercise XXX.BOur Commitment to a Substance-Free Lifestyle348SECTION XXXI—Suicide PreventionExercise XXXI.AHeart-to-Heart Smart Talks351354Appendix: Alternate Assignments for Presenting Problems357About the CD-ROM371

PRACTICEPLANNERS SERIES PREFACEThe practice of psychotherapy has a dimension that did not exist 30, 20, or even 15 yearsago—accountability. Treatment programs, public agencies, clinics, and even group andsolo practitioners must now justify the treatment of patients to outside review entitiesthat control the payment of fees. This development has resulted in an explosion of paperwork.Clinicians must now document what has been done in treatment, what is planned forthe future, and what the anticipated outcomes of the interventions are. The books andsoftware in this PracticePlanners series are designed to help practitioners fulfill thesedocumentation requirements efficiently and professionally.The PracticePlanners series is growing rapidly. It now includes not only the original Complete Adult Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, third edition, The Child Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, third edition, and The Adolescent Psychotherapy TreatmentPlanner, third edition, but also Treatment Planners targeted to specialty areas of practice, including: addictions, juvenile justice/residential care, couples therapy, employeeassistance, behavioral medicine, therapy with older adults, pastoral counseling, familytherapy, group therapy, neuropsychology, therapy with gays and lesbians, special education, school counseling, probation and parole, therapy with sexual abuse victims and offenders, and more.Several of the Treatment Planner books now have companion Progress Notes Planners (e.g., Adult, Adolescent, Child, Addictions, Severe and Persistent Mental Illness,Couples, Family). More of these planners that provide a menu of progress statementsthat elaborate on the client’s symptom presentation and the provider’s therapeutic intervention are in production. Each Progress Notes Planner statement is directly integratedwith “Behavioral Definitions” and “Therapeutic Interventions” items from the companionTreatment Planner.The list of therapeutic Homework Planners is also growing from the original BriefTherapy Homework for Adults to Adolescent, Child, Couples, Group, Family, Addictions,Divorce, Grief, Employee Assistance, School Counseling/School Social Work HomeworkPlanners, and Parenting Skills. Each of these books can be used alone or in conjunctionwith their companion Treatment Planner. Homework assignments are designed aroundeach presenting problem (e.g., Anxiety, Depression, Chemical Dependence, Anger Management, Panic, Eating Disorders) that is the focus of a chapter in its corresponding Treatment Planner.Client Education Handout Planners, a new branch in the series, provides brochuresand handouts to help educate and inform adult, child, adolescent, couples, and familyxv

xviPRACTICEPLANNERS SERIES PREFACEclients on a myriad of mental health issues, as well as life skills techniques. The listof presenting problems for which information is provided mirrors the list of presentingproblems in the Treatment Planner of the title similar to that of the Handout Planner.Thus, the problems for which educational material is provided in the Child and Adolescent Client Education Handout Planner reflect the presenting problems listed in TheChild Psychotherapy Treatment Planner and The Adolescent Psychotherapy TreatmentPlanner. Handouts are included on CD-ROMs for easy printing and are ideal for use inwaiting rooms, at presentations, as newsletters, or as information for clients strugglingwith mental illness issues.In addition, the series also includes TheraScribe , the latest version of the popularsoftware for treatment planning and clinical record-keeping. TheraScribe allows the userto import the data from any of the Treatment Planner, Progress Notes Planner, or Homework Planner books into the software’s expandable database. Then the point-and-clickmethod can create a detailed, neatly organized, individualized, and customized treatment plan along with optional integrated progress notes and homework assignments.Adjunctive books, such as The Psychotherapy Documentation Primer, and Clinical,Forensic, Child, Couples and Family, Continuum of Care, and Chemical DependenceDocumentation Sourcebook contain forms and resources to aid the mental health practice management. The goal of the series is to provide practitioners with the resourcesthey need in order to provide high-quality care in the era of accountability—or, to put itsimply, we seek to help you spend more time on patients, and less time on paperwork.ARTHUR E. JONGSMA, JR.Grand Rapids, Michigan

ACKNOWLEDGMENTSMany thanks to Arthur Jongsma, the series editor and coauthor of the Treatment Planners, which have helped hundreds of thousands of therapists in numerous treatmentsettings. The Parenting Skills Treatment Planner and the Parenting Skills HomeworkPlanner are a much needed addition to the planner series and are now available due tohis foresight, dedication, and diligence. I have often wished that I had these useful therapeutic guides while I was working with children and their parents in the school settingand as a parent trainer. Thanks to Peggy Alexander, vice president and publisher, andher staff at John Wiley & Sons for their support and encouragement. Finally, thank youto my own children, Michael Knapp Jr. and Heather Werkemam, my sisters, Judith Forkerand Ann Walz, and my amazing extended family members, for their love, encouragement,good humor, and insight, which helped me understand and appreciate the role of the family in supporting and celebrating all personal efforts. You made it all worthwhile.xvii

INTRODUCTIONFamil

The Complete Adult Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, 3e The Child Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, 3e The Adolescent Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, 3e The Addiction Treatment Planner, 2e The Continuum of Care Treatment Planner The Couples Psychotherapy Treatment Planner The Emp