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WRAP and LonelinessPresented By Sherri Rushman248-975-9531 or rushmans@occmha.orgDecember 6, 2012Source: Mary Ellen Copeland”The Loneliness Workbook”mentalhealthrecovery.com1
What is this Workshop Based on? “The Loneliness Workbook”.“Loneliness Study”Focus groups, interviews, and a writtensurvey2
What is Loneliness? Means different things to differentpeopleA description of Loneliness wouldinclude words that describe feelingsLoneliness is an old ongoing humanconditionIt is a feeling of having no commonbond with people around you3
Definitionof Loneliness Loneliness is feeling disconnected and lost, even inthe midst of familyWithout friends or a companion.Feeling like you don’t have anyone who wants to bewith youFeeling abandoned and unable to connect withanyone on either a physical or emotional levelBeing alone and not comfortable with yourself W hat are your definitions of loneliness 4
Image of Loneliness #1 A person dreamed of a great chasm-achasm so deep that she couldn’t see to it’sbottom with steep rock cliffs on either side.She was alone on one side of the chasm,looking at the other side. On the other sidepeople were talking to each other, laughing,and having a good time. There was no wayfor her to get to the other side where thepeople were. The person felt excluded andutterly alone5
Continued Personal Images of Loneliness #2 One women said that when she waslonely, she imagines herself envelopedin a plastic bubble, just floating in spacewhere no one can hear her and no onecares about her thoughts and feelings.W hat are your personal im ages ofLoneliness.6
Sometimes There is a Reason YouCan’t Keep Supports or FriendsConnections Gone W rong Overly dependentOne sided relationshipsWhen one of the people is negativeWhen one person assumes things aboutthe other personBeing too needy7
People Avoid me-Why? Complaining constantlyBeing self-centeredBeing fearful of rejectionHaving low self-esteemBeing excessively angryWorrying and fretting needlessly8
Things That Don’tEnhance Relationships Being embarrassingInterrupting, You messagesBreak confidentialityOne person doing all the talkingWanting you to be their only friend9
Remember, There is Hope! People havechanged their livesand shape their lifethe way they wantto.Takes time and workto improvecircumstances10
Connections Can Go Right “People being lovingly supported and supportingothers are powerful contributors to our social,psychological, spiritual, and even physical wellbeing.”From her research she found it is important to haveat least 5 supporters.11
Connections Gone Right12
Connections Gone Right13
Opposite of Loneliness Times when you don’t feel lonelyFeel connected to people your withFeel that you are understood and respectedEnjoy times with peopleHaving a balance between being with othersand being aloneFeeling loved, togetherness, feeling wholeand complete and a sense of belonging14
Not Feeling Lonely Let’s do an ex ploratory ex ercise.Sit back in your chair. Make sure you feelcomfortable. Take a few deep breaths. Focus onfeeling not lonely. To do this, you may need to thinkof a time in your life when you were not lonely. Ifyou can’t think of a time, imagine such a time. Focusand enjoy these feelings.15
Raising Your Self-Esteem By exercisingDoing things you really like to doTaking good care of yourselfDevelop a scrap book that celebrates youMake an appreciation paperReceiving complimentsAt night write about how you treated yourselfwell during the day16
List of Strengthsto Bring to a Friendship I am a good listener.I am warm and friendly.I like being part of a good conversation.I’m supportive to others.I have a lot of interests I like to share.I am very compassionate.I am playful and enjoy humor.17
Continued List of Strengthsto Bring to a Friendship I am passionateI am entertaining and wittyI am generous and kindheartedI am interested in a variety of ideas,issues, and activities.I make it a point to affirm and validatethe experiences of others.18
Continued List of Strengthsto Bring to a Friendship I accept others as they are. I don’t try tochange themI enjoy sharing fun and interesting activitieswith othersI will go “out on a limb” for others if theyneed and want me to do thatAfter this w orkshop list your strengthsthat m ake you a good friend19
BeginningandMaintaining RelationshipsReaching out Introducing yourself Chatting Arranging to get together Phone call check-ins Staying connected Respecting boundaries 20
The Qualitiesof Good Supporters Someone you can trust and respect youBe ConfidentialHave time for youWho will allow you the space to change,grow, make decisions and make mistakes,who accept you-both as you are and as youwant to be21
Continued Qualitiesof Good Supporters Who care about you.Would advocate for you.Make decisions when you can’t andwilling to follow your pre-determinedplan.Someone who will treat you well.Not force advice on you.22
Being with SupportersListening Sharing Empathizing Peer counseling/exchange listening Check-ins Problem solving Supporting through hard times Using “I” Statements Respecting boundaries 23
Assignment Describe after w ork shop on paper yourrelationships w ith people w ith w hom you feelyou have deep, rich friendship. I f you feel youdon’t have any, w rite w hat you w ould lik e in afriendship.24
Assingment Do you have m utuality in yourfriendships? I f you do it, you w ill see itw orks! Describe how it w orks for youafter the w orkshop.25
To get the “Loneliness Work Book Go to:books@mentalhealthrecovery.comor by phone:1-802-425-366026
Opposite of Loneliness Times when you don’t feel lonely Feel connected to people your with Feel that you are understood and respected Enjoy times with people Having a balance between being with others and being alone Feeling loved, togetherness,
