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Secret ObsessionText Message FormulasBy James Bauer

Secret Obsession Text Message FormulasCopyright 2016 by Blink Publishing LLCAll rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by anymeans, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from thepublisher.Warning and DisclaimerEvery effort has been made to make this book as complete and as accurate as possible, but no warranty is implied.The information provided is on an “as is” basis. The author and the publisher shall have neither liability norresponsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damages arising from the information contained inthis book.Nothing in this book constitutes, or is meant to constitute professional advice of any kind. If you require advice inrelation to any legal, financial, psychological, or medical matter you should consult an appropriate professional.Be Irresistible offers content on the topic of relationships and dating for entertainment purposes. As our productsare for entertainment purposes only, they are NOT to be considered as legal, medical, psychological orprofessional adviceBy purchasing our products or using our website, you must agree that James Bauer is NOT providing you with anymedical or psychological counsel. 2016 Blink Publishing LLC2

Secret ObsessionText Message FormulasContentsAlways Start with Your Main Goal in Mind . 4Now Apply That Main Goal to Just One Thing . 5Text Message Magic. 7Get Him to Pay Attention to You . 8Curiosity Can’t Make Us Care about Something Can It? . 9Why Exactly Is Curiosity So Strong? . 10The Invisible Power of Curiosity. 11How “Curiosity Phrases” Can Keep Him Engaged . 12Putting the Phrases to Use. 15How to Create Curiosity Triggers When You’re Apart . 16Texting Your Life Story . 18 2016 Blink Publishing LLC3

Why Texting?The reason I’ve chosen to add this addendum is because so many people use texting to communicatewith their romantic partner. And you really do have to say things a little differently when texting insteadof talking.Look, the general principles at work here are described in His Secret Obsession, so you really shouldn’tskip that. But I realize some of you prefer more concrete examples.Of course, the problem with concrete examples is that they are limited in their ability to moldthemselves to your particular life situation. So that’s why it’s important that you understand the truenature of his secret obsession first. That way, you can apply the underlying ideas to your uniquerelationship circumstances.With all that said, I understand for a lot of people stuff sinks in better when you see it in action. So evenif a lot of these specific text ideas don’t perfectly fit your situation, you may find they fill in the gaps,helping you to understand ways to apply the things you’ve learned from the main course.So this addendum is focused on the core principles of His Secret Obsession. But it shows you how toapply those principles through text messages.So let’s dive into the principles, ideas, and specific examples.Always Start with Your Main Goal in MindWhat is your main goal? It’s to trigger his natural instincts. And to bend those drives toward hisrelationship with you.And what is that natural instinct again? It’s the drive to build his life around things he can influence,people who need him, and situations where he can actually have a meaningful impact. Basically, it’s themale desire to gain a sense of social significance by doing things that make him feel like a provider.So if you start with that main goal in mind, what does it look like? What is the goal? It’s to make him feellike he matters and he can do something that matters in your life.That way, you become more significant to him. He starts to revolve around you as if you are the centerof his universe. That’s the goal.But when you send a text message, you are usually going to be dealing with something much morespecific. So you have to apply that big, more general goal to the specific circumstances of your currentrelationship. 2016 Blink Publishing LLC4

Now Apply That Main Goal to Just One ThingSo how do you choose what to send a text about? How do you know where to start?The answer comes down to a simple formula:Trigger Curiosity. Wait. Reveal Need. Wait.Basically, this formula does one thing. It triggers his desire to be needed.Imagine his drive to be needed is like a river. It’s constantly flowing. And like a river, it’s always going toflow down the path of least resistance. Your text message will open up a new path. An outlet. Water willnaturally flow into that new opening.If you don’t have these openings in your relationship, it’s like a large dam has been erected. Picture oneof those huge dams that holds back a massive river. Imagine the amount of pressure that builds upbehind that dam. That’s what it’s like when you don’t open up outlets for his drive to be needed.It’s the top reason men have affairs (even men who are still in love with their partner). Some womancomes along and fulfills his need to feel important, significant, and capable. That other woman hascreated an outlet for the pressure building up behind the dam.It doesn’t take long for that outlet to become a new river, a new channel. And then it becomesemotionally painful for him to shut it off. Close it down. And ignore that opening.Of course, this is not all on you. It’s not your fault if he has an affair. He’s responsible for his ownactions.But as you know, people often react instinctively. Our long-term planning does not always perfectly alignwith our values. Or even our own long-term well-being.So make it easy on him. Become the natural outlet for his instinctual drives. You’ll be glad you did. You’llbe rewarded with the kind of relationship other women are envious of.I eat too much chocolate ice cream. My instincts tell me to consume sugar and fat. If only carrots andbroccoli could trigger my eating instinct instead of ice cream! Then I would naturally and automaticallyeat the right things that make me feel good in the long term.The good news is, you can do this. You can trigger his natural instincts to pour his time and energy intoyou. And you do that by providing easy outlets for his drive to find social significance in the role of aprovider. Text messages are just one small (but easy) way to do that.So let’s look at some actual text message examples. Remember the formula:Trigger Curiosity. Wait. Reveal Need. Wait.I’ll start by giving you a quick definition for each part of this formula.Trigger curiosity: a short text message that is hard to ignore because it triggers his curiosity. In thismessage, you don’t reveal any kind of need or problem for him to help you with. Instead, you just gethim interested so he’s curious enough to pay attention to what’s coming next. 2016 Blink Publishing LLC5

Wait: this is the part where you do nothing. You don’t continuously send more messages. You don’tdistract him with new topics or emoticons. You just wait for him to take the bait. To become curiousenough to ask what you’re talking about.Reveal Need: when he responds, it will be in the form of a question. He will ask you to explain yourprevious text. This is where you reveal a need. You don’t make him responsible for filling that need. Youjust mention it.Wait: Now you’re back to waiting again. You’ve got to give him time to formulate a plan. Time to finishwith other distractions. And you’ve got to wait so that the idea to help comes from him (not from you).Here’s an example to show you what the exchange might look like:You: “I started a top-ten list.”Him: “Oh yeah? About what?You: “Top 10 ways mechanics screw women with inflated repair costs.”Him: “LOL. Sorry sounds irritating. Maybe you should let me go with you next time. I alsoknow someone whose brother runs an honest repair shop if you don’t mind a 20-minute drive tomy side of town. I’ll even go with you to introduce you if you want.”Can you see the formula at work here? The first text is simple and sweet. But it evokes curiosity. The keyto a curiosity provoking text is the gap. You have to leave a gap in the information you provide.In this instance, you present just enough information so that his mind naturally wants to fill the gap “Atop-10 list about what?” The mind naturally feels pulled toward missing information.Then, when the need is revealed, it is not posed as a request for his help. Yet it reveals the problemclearly enough for his mind to start churning. That’s what we want. We want you to be the frequentfocus of his efforts to feel useful and important.Here’s another text message example:You: “Are all red ants fire ants?”Him: “Not sure. Why? Ant infestation?You: “No. Just a disagreement with a friend. She won’t go hiking with me to see the Washingtonforest pines because she saw ‘red ants’ on her sleeping bag there once.”Him: “I really don’t know, but I’ve been through there many times without any ant attacks .You: “My friends act like old ladies half the time.”Him: “If you’re looking for more adventure in your life, I’d be happy to escort you on the trailsand protect you from any flaming ants.” 2016 Blink Publishing LLC6

Here again, the conversation was started in a way that naturally pulls his curiosity. Only then is a needgradually revealed. And when it’s revealed, it’s done gradually without any direct request. Yet it feelsperfectly natural when he offers to “help” by filling in the need for a companion on the hiking trails.So here’s the key. Reveal a need in a manner that does not create any sense of pressure. The last thingyou want is to form a pattern in which he feels pressured to constantly rescue you from irritatingproblems. Instead, we want him to perceive opportunities.The difference between an obligation to help and an opportunity to help cannot be overstated.So now you have the basic formula. But we can simplify it even more. Let’s break down the basicformula to something even simpler.Text Message MagicAsking for help grabs at one of his core drives. The drive to be on a mission with a clear purpose.If you want to grab his attention with a text message, try asking him for help with something specific.As crazy as this sounds, you can even get an angry ex to start talking with you again if you send a simpletext message like this:“If you had to teach me how to be an amazing [girlfriend, partner, spouse], where would you ask me tostart?”This text will grab his curiosity. “Is she starting a new relationship? With who?” “Is she trying toapologize for the ways I felt hurt?” “Does she really respect my opinion that much?”He’ll be curious. But he’ll also want to step into the role you have laid open before him. The problemsolver role. The hero with special inside knowledge.He’ll feel compelled to respond to your text. And it will open up a conversation that naturally causes hismind to imagine the “perfect version” of you in a relationship. You can probably guess why that helps.4 Unassuming WordsBut we can simplify this text message. We can boil it down to its most concentrated form.You can grab a man’s attention by texting these four simple words:“I need your help.”That’s it. Don’t add anything. Don’t embellish. And don’t text again until he has responded.There is nothing that calls directly to a man’s hero instinct so strongly as these four words.If you want a man to fight for you, these are the words to text him.Do you feel like the passion he feels for you is fading? Then text him these words. 2016 Blink Publishing LLC7