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va l u e ta in m e n tRESOURCES FOR ENTREPRENEURSdealing with divasBy Patrick Bet-DavidToday we're going to talk about how to deal with divas in business. Every great organization that'sgrown very fast, take the tech industry for example, there are a lot of engineers that are divas. Youcan go to Hollywood and find actors, actresses, producers, and directors that are divas. If you lookat the financial industry there are hedge fund manager, stockbrokers, and insurance agents. Thereare divas everywhere. Now, here's the challenge. Many times, a person rises through anorganization and they say, 'Oh my God, he's so difficult or she is so difficult. They are such a bigpain in the butt.'No! If you don't like divas, I'll take all your divas. The challenge is never to divas. The challenge isfor most people have no idea how to lead divas. Believe me, I didn't know at one point. Once youfigure out how to lead divas, your organization's going to go to a whole different level. So today,we're going to talk about the wiring of divas, how they were bullying you at times, and how to getthe best out of them.There are two ways I want you to watch this video. One of them is maybe you're a diva and thesecond way is if you have people on your team that are divas. You either are going to discover howyou are a diva or you are going to find out if you are getting the best out of your diva? Let's definewhat a diva is.1. What is a Diva?A diva is someone who thinks very highly of themselves. They have a dark side they're not awareof all the time. They want a ton of attention and will do anything even taking the credit or ideasfrom others. They are a pain in the butt at times. They have deep insecurities with a point to prove.They are bullies but never believes they are actually bullying anyone. They can be passiveaggressive at times, deflect mistakes, and blame others to avoid responsibility. They feel entitled,demand a different kind of treatment, and finally is more about themselves then the team.Now, if you're listening to this, you're probably thinking about a few different names. 'Bobby's likethis. Mary's like this. Cindy's like this. I'm like this. I hope nobody knows about this.'All rights reserved. Patrick bet-david and valuetainment media 2019

2. Why Tolerate Them?Here's the thing, if you are one of these or somebody on your team is one of these, why wouldanybody want to deal with divas like this? I mean, Kobe is a diva just like Michael Jordan is a diva.Westbrook is one and Billy Donovan doesn't know how to lead his divas.The reason why owners, CEOs, executives, leaders, sales leaders are willing to tolerate thesedivas is because the return is so high that it helps you experience massive success. However,some of you guys are saying, 'I wish my boss would understand that I'm a real diva and he justdoesn't know how to work with me.'Now hang tight. There's good news and there's bad news. You may not be a real diva becausethere's also annoying divas. Annoying divas are those who want respect but don't deserve it. Theyare secretly very lazy hypocrites, unreliable, disrespectful, and untrustworthy. Real divas arewilling to work their tails off. You can rely on these guys, they're just difficult. So why do you dealwith them?If you know how to lead a diva, they'll make you. If you are trying to learn how to lead divas, they'llslow you down because spend too much time second guessing yourself. If you don't know how tolead divas, they're going to break you because you're going to worry about your insecurities andthey'll eventually leave and find a person who knows how to handle them. Now, does this meanthat you give in to them all the time? Absolutely not.3. Divas are All Over BusinessI've had divas that I worked with in sales. I've had divas I worked with who are partners,employees, executives, investors, board members. I mean I can go on and on and on. Divas comein many different forms and work in every department and for many different companies. I've dealtwith a carrier, who is multibillion-dollar company, where the main relationship we had was a diva.You always must tell them how amazing this person was and at the same time you have to take itaway from him. It was like a very weird relationship. It was like a bipolar relationship when youwere dealing with this person. Now you might say, "Why would you work with a company like that?"I didn't have a choice. That was the partner. You must deal with that personality. If you don't, you'regoing to lose that relationship.All rights reserved. Patrick bet-david and valuetainment media 2019

4. The Goal for Leaders When Dealing with DivasA diva comes in and it's all about what? Me, me, me. 'Do you know who I am? Do you know howspecial I am? Do you know what I'm going to do to your company? I'm going to change everything.I'm going to make you so rich. I am so amazing.'There undermine and undermine and undermine everybody on their team. Your goal as a leader isto help them gain perspective and sometimes have very serious conversations with them. You aretrying to achieve an equilibrium. Okay? They can still shine along with the team. They're starting torealize, 'You can be here, but you ain't going to be here all by yourself.'So how do you achieve this? You don't give credit to that person every single time they dosomething good or bad. You can give them a score for all that they do so that you start distancingyourself from them and they start to realize what it will take to work with you. Prove to them thatthey can get all the accolades they want, but one day this is what we could have if they help pullyour team up with them. So, you're trying to make him less and less and less selfish.5. Divas Will Play GamesNow say you don't know how to deal with them. What are they going to do to you? Don't let thembully you. They will threaten you to leave you. It's like dating a girl that every other day wants tobreak up with you. They'll threaten you, they'll exploit you. They will play games. It's been theirway their whole lives because they are masters at it.You have to understand divas before you can truly deal with them in an effective way. What dothey like? What did they want? What value do they bring when they come into work and why dothey decide to work with certain people?Why did Kobe Bryant work with Phil Jackson? The first few times he played for Jackson he couldn'tstand him. Kobe went to the owner, Jerry Buss, to push to get rid of Jackson. Then Kobe doesn'twin any championships and begs Phil to come back and they win two more championships.Jackson's won five with Kobe and six with Jordan, how? Because Phil knew how to deal with divasin his team and Kobe finally realized if I want to get here, that's the one guy that knows how to getthe best out of me.All rights reserved. Patrick bet-david and valuetainment media 2019

6. TrustThe moment a diva knows that they can trust you, you gain points with them. They need to feelsafe because one of their biggest insecurities is lack of trust. It must be real trust, they liked that.That's a value for them. Respect must go both ways and it absolutely must be consistent.7. ConsistencySometimes divas had a very inconsistent parent growing up. Their mother might have been in andout of the picture. Or they suffered some other gaps in growing up that made them self-reliant. Allof us have some screwed up history in our family, including myself. Divas typically have somethingthat broke them. So, they like somebody to be consistent with them because they typically haven'thad that in their lives.8. ReliableThis is very important to them. Here's what's crazy about them, they want you to understand that atone point they may not be reliable, but they still want you to be reliable to them. If you remainconsistent and reliable to them, they kind of feel like, 'I'm probably not going to find somebody likethis again. I am going to run with this person and I'm no longer going to be a diva to this personbecause they've earned my trust.' Reliability, respect, consistency.9. ToleranceCan you tolerate having their back when they hit rock bottom so many times? Divas are going tobreak things cause that's what they do best. They're not just divas with you in the workplace.They're going home to a family, friends, cars, and parties. So, something's going to happen, andyou will be in the situation where you must be there for them when you are done there for them.When they hit rock bottom.Nike stayed with Tiger when he hit rock bottom. Everybody can't believe why they would do this.They are calling on Nike to drop him, but Nike doesn't. Then Tiger wins The Masters. The dayTiger won The Masters, Nike's net worth went up 335 million one day. Tiger worked all theseyears and paid Nike back for their belief and tolerance in him.All rights reserved. Patrick bet-david and valuetainment media 2019

10. Divas Want to Work with Somebody That is Not Afraid of ThemI remember I recruited a guy for our company. He already had his own TV show, and all this otherstuff he could ever want. It's two o'clock in the morning and I said, "I want you to know something.I like you a lot. I know you've done a lot of great things, but I want you to know something I'm notafraid of you. Like I'm not afraid of who you are, your resume, any of that stuff that doesn't impressme. I know this business very well. I know how to lead people like you if you're willing to listen, Ican direct you to success, but only if you're willing to do so. If you're not, you can go findsomebody else. What do you think about that? Are you comfortable with that?' He said yes.I had another guy at the beginning stages of running a business bully me. He was one of my bestsales guys. I needed him and he knew I needed him, so he bullied me a lot and I didn't haveleverage. If I was having a conversation with him, he was trying to push me. He was testing me tosee if I could handle more. Eventually I told him, 'Look, here's my line. You cross it, then we have aproblem. I'm a very forgiving guy. I'm easy going. But if you cross the line and don't realize thelevel of gratitude, trust, all this stuff I've already given you, we are going to have a problem.'This is when you don't tolerate them. In the beginning of the relationship you do but after youmake it evident to them how things work and they still push you with no signs of improvement,that's when you don't tolerate them. If they keep pushing you, that's when you show them howunafraid you are of them.One time we were on the phone and he told me, "You know you are the one that always calls mefirst. You need me." So, I stopped and told him that I am not going to tolerate that. Eventually hecalled me, we sat down, and for three hours I showed him every single selfish thing about him. Itold him that I wasn't not afraid if he wanted to leave and that I wasn't playing his games. Today wehave a great relationship and it was all because we had that talk where I expressed to him that Iwasn't afraid.Sometimes leaders are so afraid of losing divas, that the fear causes them to lose divas. I don'tknow if that makes any sense but let me try it another way. I used to date a girl drop deadgorgeous girl. I mean, she was a 10, but I was young. I just came out of the military, no money. I'mbroke trying to figure out my identity and she had all these people with money around her. I waslike, man, what if I lose this diva? I lost the diva. What happened there? Because I was were afraidof losing a diva and she felt it and she didn't want to be with somebody who was afraid of losing adiva.All rights reserved. Patrick bet-david and valuetainment media 2019