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5252BrianL. Weiss, M.D.about he r past . O n tha t first visi t w e bega n t o unrave l wh oshe was and why she had come to see me.In answe r t o m y questions , Catherin e reveale d th e stor y ofher life . Sh e wa s th e middl e child , reare d i n a conservativ eCatholic famil y i n a smal l Massachusett s town . He r brother ,born thre e year s earlie r tha n she , wa s ver y athletic , an d h eenjoyed a freedo m tha t sh e wa s neve r allowed . He r younge rsister was the favorite of both parents.When w e starte d t o tal k abou t he r symptoms , sh e becam enoticeably mor e tens e an d nervous . He r speec h wa s rapid ,and sh e leane d forward , restin g he r elbow s o n th e desk . He rlife ha d alway s bee n burdene d wit h fears . Sh e feare d water ,feared choking t o th e exten t tha t sh e could no t swallo w pills ,feared airplanes, feare d th e dark , an d sh e wa s terrifie d o fdying. I n th e recen t past , he r fear s ha d begu n t o worsen . I norder t o fee l safe , she often slept i n th e walk-i n close t i n he rapartment. She suffered two to three hours of insomni a beforebeing abl e to fall alseep. Once asleep , she would slee p lightl yand fitfully, awakening frequently . The nightmare s an d sleep walking episodes that had plagued he r childhood wer e return ing. A s he r fear s an d symptom s increasingl y paralyze d her ,she became more and more depressed.As Catherin e continue d t o talk , I coul d sens e ho w deepl yshe wa s suffering . Over th e year s I ha d helpe d man y patient slike Catherin e throug h th e agonie s o f thei r fears , an d I fel tconfident that I could help her, too. I decided we would begi nby delving into her childhood, looking for the original source sof he r problems. Usually this kind of insigh t helps to alleviat eanxiety. If necessary , and if she could manage to swallow pills,I woul d offer her some mild anti-anxiet y medication s to mak eher mor e comfortable . This wa s standar d textboo k treatmen tfor Catherine' s symptoms , an d I neve r hesitate d t o us e tran quilizers, o r eve n antidepressan t medicines , t o trea t chronic ,

Many Lives, Many Masters17fear s an d anxieties . No w I us e thes e medicine s muc hmore sparingly and only temporarily, if at all. No medicine canreach th e rea l root s o f thes e symptoms . M y experience s wit hCatherine an d other s lik e he r hav e proved thi s t o me . Now Iknow there can be cures, not just the suppressio n o r covering over of symptoms.During th e first session , I kep t tryin g t o gentl y nudg e he rback t o he r childhood . Becaus e Catherin e remembere d amaz ingly fe w events fro m he r earl y years , I mad e a menta l not eto consider hypnotherap y a s a possibl e shortcu t t o overcom ethis repression. She could not remembe r an y particularl y trau matic moments i n he r childhoo d tha t woul d explai n th e epi demic of fears in her life.As sh e straine d an d stretche d he r min d t o remember , iso lated memor y fragment s emerged. Whe n sh e wa s abou t fiveyears old, she had panicked when someone ha d pushed he r offa diving board int o a swimmin g pool . Sh e sai d tha t eve n be fore tha t incident , however , sh e ha d neve r fel t comfortabl ein water . Whe n Catherin e wa s eleven , he r mothe r ha d be come severel y depressed . He r mother' s strang e withdrawa lfrom the famil y necessitated visit s to a psychiatrist wit h ensu ing electroshoc k treatments . Thes e treatment s ha d mad e i tdifficult for he r mothe r t o remembe r things . Thi s experienc ewith her mother frightene d Catherine, but , a s her mothe r im proved an d becam e "herself " again , Catherin e sai d tha t he rfears dissipated . He r fathe r ha d a long-standin g histor y o falcohol abuse , an d sometime s Catherine' s brothe r ha d t o re trieve thei r fathe r fro m th e loca l bar . He r father' s increasin galcohol consumption led to his having frequent fights with hermother, who would then become moody and withdrawn. However, Catherine viewed this as an accepted family pattern.Things wer e bette r outsid e th e home . Sh e date d i n hig hschool an d mixe d i n easil y wit h he r friends , mos t o f who msevere

5252Brian L. Weiss, M.D.she had known for many years. However, she found it difficultto trus t people , especiall y thos e outsid e he r smal l circl e o ffriends.Her religio n wa s simpl e an d unquestioned . Sh e wa s raise dto believ e i n traditiona l Catholi c ideolog y an d practices , an dshe ha d neve r reall y doubte d th e truthfulnes s an d validit y o fher faith . She believe d tha t i f yo u wer e a goo d Catholi c an dlived properl y b y observin g th e fait h an d it s rituals , yo uwould b e rewarded b y going to heaven ; i f not , you would ex perience purgator y o r hell . A patriarcha l Go d an d hi s So nmade thes e final decisions . I late r learne d tha t Catherin e di dnot believe in reincarnation; i n fact, she knew very littl e aboutthe concept, although she had read sparingly about the Hindus.Reincarnation wa s a n ide a contrar y t o he r upbringin g an dunderstanding. Sh e had neve r rea d an y metaphysical o r occul tliterature, havin g ha d n o interes t i n it . She was secur e i n he rbeliefs.After high school, Catherine completed a two-year technicalprogram, emergin g a s a laboratory technician . Arme d wit h aprofession an d encourage d b y he r brother' s mov e t o Tampa ,Catherine lande d a jo b i n Miam i a t a large teachin g hospita laffiliated wit h th e Universit y o f Miam i Schoo l o f Medicine .She move d t o Miam i i n th e sprin g o f 1974 , a t th e ag e o ftwenty-one.Catherine's lif e i n a smal l tow n ha d bee n easie r tha n he rlife in Miami turned ou t t o be , yet sh e wa s glad sh e ha d fledher family problems.During he r first year i n Miami, Catherine me t Stuart . Mar ried, Jewish , an d wit h tw o children , h e wa s totall y differen tfrom an y othe r ma n sh e ha d eve r dated . H e wa s a successfulphysician, stron g an d aggressive . Ther e wa s a n irresistibl echemistry betwee n them , bu t thei r affai r was rock y an d tem pestuous. Somethin g abou t hi m dre w ou t he r passion s an d

Many Lives, Many Masters19her , a s i f sh e wer e charme d b y him . A t th e tim eCatherine starte d therapy , her affai r wit h Stuar t wa s i n it ssixth yea r an d ver y muc h alive , i f no t well . Catherin e coul dnot resist Stuart althoug h he treate d he r poorly , an d sh e wa sfurious at his lies, broken promises, and manipulations .Several month s prio r t o he r appointmen t wit h me , Cather ine had require d voca l cor d surger y fo r a benig n nodule . Sh ehad bee n anxiou s prio r t o th e surger y bu t wa s absolutel y ter rified upon awakenin g i n the recover y room . It too k hour s fo rthe nursin g staf f t o cal m her . Afte r he r recover y i n th e hos pital, sh e sought ou t Dr . Edwar d Poole . E d wa s a kindl y pe diatrician who m Catherin e ha d me t whil e workin g i n th ehospital. The y ha d bot h fel t a n instan t rappor t an d ha d de veloped a close friendship . Catherine talke d freel y to Ed , tell ing hi m o f he r fears , he r relationshi p wit h Stuart , an d tha tshe fel t she wa s losin g contro l ove r he r life . He insiste d tha tshe make an appointmen t wit h m e an d onl y me , no t wit h an yof my associate psychiatrists. When E d called t o tel l m e abou this referral , h e explaine d that , fo r som e reason , h e though tonly I coul d trul y understan d Catherine , eve n thoug h th eother psychiatrist s als o ha d excellen t credential s an d wer eskilled therapists. Catherine did not call me, however.Eight week s passed . I n th e crunc h o f m y bus y practic e a shead o f th e Departmen t o f Psychiatry , I ha d forgotte n abou tEd's call . Catherine' s fear s an d phobia s worsened . Dr . Fran kAcker, Chie f o f Surgery , ha d know n Catherin e casuall y fo ryears, and they often bantered good-naturedl y whe n h e visite dthe laborator y wher e sh e worked . H e ha d notice d he r recen tunhappiness an d sense d he r tension . Severa l time s h e ha dmeant t o sa y somethin g t o he r bu t ha d hesitated . On e after noon, Frank wa s driving t o a smaller, out-of-th e wa y hospita lgive a lecture. On th e way, he saw Catherine drivin g t o he rhome, whic h wa s clos e t o tha t hospital , an d impulsivel yawakened

5252Brian L. Weiss, M.D.waved he r t o th e sid e o f th e road . " I wan t yo u t o se e Dr .Weiss now," h e yelled throug h th e window. "N o delays. " Al though surgeon s ofte n ac t impulsively , eve n Fran k wa s sur prised at how emphatic he was.Catherine's pani c attack s an d anxiet y wer e increasin g i nfrequency and duration. She began having two recurrent nightmares. In one, a bridge collapsed whil e she was driving acros sit. Her car plunged int o the water below, and she was trappedand drowning . I n th e secon d dream , sh e wa s trappe d i n apitch-black room , stumblin g an d fallin g ove r things , unabl eto find a way out. Finally, she came to see me.At th e tim e o f m y first sessio n wit h Catherine , I ha d n oidea tha t m y lif e wa s abou t t o tur n upsid e down, tha t th efrightened, confused woma n acros s th e des k fro m m e woul dbe the catalyst, and that I would never be the same again.

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Eighteen month s o f intensiv e psychotherap y passed , wit hCatherine comin g t o se e me once or twic e a week. Sh e was agood patient, verbal , capabl e o f insights , an d extremel y eage rto get well.During tha t time , w e explore d he r feelings , thoughts, an ddreams. He r recognitio n o f recurren t behavio r pattern s pro vided he r wit h insigh t an d understanding . Sh e remembere dmany more significan t details fro m her past, such a s her mer chant seama n father' s absence s fro m th e hom e an d hi s occa sional violen t outburst s afte r drinkin g to o much . Sh e under stood much more about her turbulent relationshi p with Stuart,and sh e expresse d ange r mor e appropriately . I fel t tha t sh eshould hav e bee n muc h improve d b y now . Patient s almos talways improv e whe n the y remembe r unpleasan t influence sfrom thei r past , whe n the y lear n t o recogniz e an d correc tmaladaptive behavior patterns , and when they develop insigh tand view their problems from a larger, more detached perspective. But Catherine had not improved.Anxiety an d pani c attack s stil l torture d her . Th e vivi d re current nightmare s continued , an d sh e wa s stil l terrifie d o fthe dark, of water , and of bein g closed in . Her slee p was stil lfragmented and unrefreshing . She was experiencing hear t pal pitations. Sh e continue d t o refus e an y medicines , afrai d o f23

5252Brian L. Weiss, M.D.choking o n th e pills . I fel t a s i f I ha d reache d a wall , an dthat n o matte r wha t I did , tha t wall woul d remai n s o hig hthat neithe r o f u s woul d b e abl e t o clim b ove r it . But , wit hmy sense of frustratio n came an added sense of determination .Somehow, I was going to help Catherine.And the n a strang e thin g happened . Althoug h sh e wa s in tensely afrai d of flying and ha d t o fortify herself wit h severa ldrinks whil e sh e wa s o n th e plane , Catherin e accompanie dStuart t o a medica l conferenc e i n Chicag p i n th e sprin g o f1982. Whil e there , she pressure d hi m int o visitin g th e Egyp tian exhibi t a t th e ar t museum , wher e the y joine d a guide dtour.Catherine ha d alway s ha d a n interes t i n ancien t Egyptia nartifacts and reproduction s o f relic s from that period . She washardly a schola r an d ha d neve r studie d tha t tim e i n history ,but somehow the pieces seemed familiar to her.When th e guid e bega n t o describ e some o f th e artifact s inthe exhibit , sh e foun d hersel f correctin g hi m . . . an d sh ewas right ! Th e guid e wa s surprised ; Catherin e wa s stunned .How did she know these things? Why di d she feel so stronglythat she wa s right , s o sur e o f hersel f tha t sh e correcte d th eguide i n public ? Perhap s th e memorie s wer e forgotte n fro mher childhood.At he r nex t appointment , sh e told m e wha t ha d happened .Months earlier I had suggeste d hypnosi s to Catherine, but sh ewas afrai d an d sh e resisted . Becaus e of he r experienc e a t th eEgyptian exhibit, she now reluctantly agreed.Hypnosis i s a n excellen t too l t o hel p a patien t remembe rlong-forgotten incidents . There i s nothing mysterious abou t it .It i s just a stat e o f focuse d concentration . Unde r th e instruc tion o f a trained hypnotist , the patient's bod y relaxes , causin gthe memor y t o sharpen . I ha d hypnotize d hundred s o f pa tients an d ha d foun d i t helpfu l in reducin g anxiety , eliminat -

Many Lives, Many Masters25ing phobias, changin g ba d habits , an d aidin g i n th e recal l o frepressed material . O n occasion , I ha d bee n successfu l i n re gressing patients bac k t o thei r earl y childhoods, eve n t o whe nthey wer e two or thre e year s old , thu s elicitin g th e memorie sof long-forgotte n trauma s tha t wer e disruptin g thei r lives . Ifelt confident that hypnosis would help Catherine.I instructe d Catherin e t o li e o n th e couc h wit h he r eye sslightly closed an d he r hea d restin g on a small pillow . At firstwe focuse d o n he r breathing . Wit h eac h exhalatio n sh e re leased stored-u p tensio n an d anxiety ; wit h eac h inhalatio nshe relaxe d eve n more . Afte r severa l minute s o f this , I tol dher to visualize he r muscle s progressivel y relaxing , beginnin gwith her facia l muscles an d jaw , then he r nec k an d shoulders ,her arms, back an d stomac h muscles , and finally he r legs . Shefelt her entire body sinkin g deepe r an d deepe r int o th e couch .Then I instructe d he r t o visualiz e a brigh t whit e ligh t a tthe to p o f he r head , insid e he r body . Late r on , a s I ha d th elight spread slowly down her body, it completely relaxe d everymuscle, ever y nerve , ever y organ—al l o f he r body—bringin gher int o a deepe r an d deepe r stat e o f relaxatio n an d peace .She fel t sleepie r an d sleepier , mor e an d mor e peacefu l an dcalm. Eventually , a t m y instruction , th e ligh t filled he r bod yand surrounded her as well.I counte d backwar d slowl y fro m te n t o one . Wit h eac hnumber, sh e entere d a deepe r leve l o f relaxation . He r tranc estate deepened . Sh e wa s abl e t o concentrat e o n m y voic e an dexclude al l backgroun d noises . B y th e coun t o f one , sh e wa salready i n a moderatel y dee p stat e o f hypnosis . Th e entir eprocess had taken about twenty minutes.After a whil e I bega n t o regres s her , askin g he r t o recal lmemories o f progressivel y earlie r ages . Sh e wa s abl e t o tal kand t o answe r m y question s whil e maintainin g a dee p leve lof hypnosis . Sh e remembere d a traumati c experienc e a t th e

5252Brian L. Weiss, M.D.dentist tha t occurre d whe n sh e wa s six years old . Sh e vividl yremembered th e terrifyin g experienc e a t ag e five whe n sh ewas pushed fro m a diving boar d int o a pool. Sh e had gagge dand choke d then , swallowin g som e water , an d whil e talkin gabout i t she began t o gag in my office. I suggeste d t o he r tha tthe experienc e wa s over , tha t sh e wa s ou t o f th e water . Th egagging stopped , an d sh e resume d he r norma l breathing . Sh ewas still in a deep trance.At ag e three , th e wors t even t o f al l ha d occurred . Sh e re membered awakenin g i n he r dar k bedroo m an d bein g awar ethat he r fathe r wa s i n he r room . H e reeke d o f alcoho l then ,and sh e could smel l i t now . H e touche d he r an d rubbe d her ,even "dow n there. " Sh e wa s terrifie d an d bega n t o cry , s o h ecovered her mouth with his rough hand. She could not breathe.In m y office , on m y couch , twenty-fiv e years later , Catherin ebegan to sob. I felt that we had the informatio n now , the ke yto th e lock . I wa s sur e tha t he r symptom s woul d improv equickly an d dramatically . I softl y suggeste d t o he r tha t th eexperience wa s over , tha t sh e wa s n o longe r i n he r bedroo mbut wa s restin g quietly , stil l i n a trance . Th e sobbin g ended .I too k her forward in time to her current age . I awakene d he rafter I ha d instructe d her , b y posthypnoti c suggestion , t o re member al l tha t sh e had tol d me . We spen t th e remainde r ofthe sessio n discussin g he r suddenl y vivi d memor y o f th etrauma with her father. I tried to help her accept and integrat eher "new " knowledge . Sh e no w understoo d he r relationshi pwith her father, his reactions to her, his aloofness, and her fearof him . Sh e wa s stil l shakin g whe n sh e lef t th e office , but Iknew th e understandin g sh e ha d gaine d wa s wort h th e mo mentary discomfort.In th e dram a o f uncoverin g he r painfu l an d deepl y re pressed memories , I ha d entirel y forgotte n t o loo k fo r th epossible childhood connectio n t o he r knowledg e o f th e Egyp -

Many Lives, Many Masters27tian artifacts. But at least she understood more about her past.She had remembered several terrifying events, and I expecteda significan t improvement in her symptoms.Despite this new understanding , th e next week sh e reporte dthat he r symptom s remaine d intact , a s sever e a s ever . I wa ssurprised. I coul d no t understan d wha t wa s wrong . Coul dsomething hav e happene d earlie r tha n ag e three ? W e ha duncovered mor e tha n sufficien t reasons fo r he r fea r o f chok ing, of th e water , o f th e dark , an d o f bein g trapped , an d ye tthe piercin g fear s an d symptoms , th e uncontrolle d anxiety ,were al l stil l devastatin g he r wakin g moments . He r night mares wer e a s terrifyin g a s before . I decide d t o regres s he rfurther.While hypnotized , Catherine spok e in a slow and deliberat ewhisper. Becaus e o f this , I wa s abl e t o writ e dow n he r word sverbatim an d hav e quote d Catherin e directly . (Th e ellipse srepresent pause s i n he r speech , no t deletion s o f word s no rediting o n m y part . However , som e o f th e materia l tha t i srepetitious is not included here. )Slowly, I too k Catherin e bac k t o th e ag e o f two , bu t sh erecalled n o significan t memories . I instructe d he r firmly an dclearly: "G o bac k t o th e tim e fro m whic h you r symptom sarise." I was totally unprepared for what came next."I se e whit e step s leadin g u p t o a building , a bi g whit ebuilding wit h pillars , ope n i n front . Ther e ar e n o doorways .I'm wearing a long dress . . . a sack made of roug h material .My hair is braided, long blond hair."I wa s confused. I wasn' t sur e wha t wa s happening . I aske dher wha t th e yea r was , wha t he r nam e was . "Arond a . . . Iam eighteen . I se e a marketplac e i n fron t o f th e building .There ar e baskets. . . . Yo u carr y th e baskets o n you r shoul ders. We liv e i n a valley . . . . Ther e i s n o water . Th e yea ris 1863 B.C. The area is barren, hot, and sandy. There i s a well,

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conflicted with their accepted beliefs. So it is now with psychiatrists and other therapists, who refuse to examine and evaluate the considerable evidence being gathered about sur-vival after bodily death and about past-life memories. Their eyes stay tightly shut. T